Veronica M.D.

She Learned THAT Word

2012-02-17T07:00:00.000-05:00

I have a student who told me his one-year-old has been walking around saying "shit" likes it's going out of style. Sometimes I envy him. Josie finally learned the word that I was hoping she would never add to her vocabulary: "NO."

Welp, that's all for me folks. Where do you go from here? It's a constant no-fest around here.

"Hi, Josephine!"
"No."

"Daddy's home!"
"No. No no no."

"I love you!"
"NO."

Except, I guess it's pretty cute that she actually say "Nah," and she usually says it in a very offhanded way. She hasn't shouted "NO!" with all her might yet; she just says Nah, Nah, Nah, all day long, like Eh, that's not really my preference, but thanks.

The first time she said it, I was at work, Jeremy was sitting on the couch, and she all stretched out next to him on the couch and she reached out her hand and started whining in the general direction of the coffee table. Jeremy picked up a toy and held it up, asking, "Do you want your giraffe?" and Josephine said "nah." He proceeded to hold up five more things and ask if she wanted it, and she said "nah" to every one. She ended up not wanting anything on the table, but was suddenly satisfied. You know, from all the negative responses. It just kept going from there.

My favorite so far has been one day right after nap when she was sitting next to me on the couch and we happened to catch ten minutes of The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That (which she LOVES; she scream GO! GO! GO! and cracks up), and as it ended, she just shook her head and said "no" over and over -- she was telling the show she didn't want it to end. Love that kid.

She has never really learned "yes" either, which might sound bad (like we are people who never say yes) but she learned "bubble" yesterday during what was probably only the fourth bubble bath she's ever had (She eats the bubbles. Every last one of them. So we space those things out.), so I'm pretty sure the kid just learns words based on other reasons, not how often she hears the word. At one point she would say "yah yah yah" while bobbing her head up and down to say "yes," but then she quit abruptly. Then, this week she started saying "Kuh" (we think she is saying "okay" since apparently I say "okay" a lot) when we ask her questions and she wants to give an affirmative.

"Are you all done eating?"
"Kuh!"

I'll take it.

While the constant "nah" is not my favorite, she has also recently learned some other cute things that distract from her ability to say "no."

When Jeremy gets home from work, she still gets all excited and runs over and meets him at the door, but now when he takes off his ID and gives it to her to play with, she points at his picture and yells "Dada! Dada! Dada!" over and over.

She is REALLY getting into dress-up!

She was walking around on her tippy-toes last night at her 18-month well-visit. Tiptoes? Are you kidding me? It feels like she just learned to walk!

She can pull herself up to peek over the back of the couch:

I finally got one of her new dance moves on camera (you might have already seen it on facebook; if not, here is my dancing queen):

And finally, she also knows a whole heck of a lot of animal noises and can point at some body parts, which we love hearing over and over. I didn't get all of them, and it spans three videos, but there were distractions like seeing herself in the camera and crackers and dogs. Such is life.

What can I say? She's the best ... even though she says "no" all the dang time. :)

Cloth Diaper Poll!

2012-02-11T16:17:00.001-05:00

Cloth diapering peeps, I have two very important questions for you:

1) What do we think of the bumGenius Freetime All-In-One One-Size Diaper?

(I'm thinking snaps because I am having some velcro issues at the moment)

I'm not sure how new this diaper is, but it is the first time I am considering it, and having used cloth diapers for a year and a half now, the main feature I am attracted to is also the one that is giving me the most pause: It is all one diaper -- no stuffing, no inserts, just a solid ol' diaper that you toss in the wash.

I love it because YAY, throw it all in the washer and dryer and then it's ready to use! No assembling for hours a week! Double yay!

BUT, I fear it because I am currently doing another huge long strip on all my bG 3.0s (Through no fault of their own -- I can only assume -- these diapers are the bane of my existence. The 4.0s are awesome. Did I ever tell you how I solved that whole funk problem I was whining about before? I'm thinking I didn't, so maybe I will do that soon. Sorry for that tangent.) and have already spent TWO DAYS trying to get the inserts to an acceptable state. So, are the diapers really going to get clean enough if the inserts can't come out?

However, in reading the description, it says the inserts are "semi-attached." What this means, I could not tell you. Maybe there's a video out there I can watch. And all this rambling was premature. But STILL, I love the opinions. So give them freely if you could.

2) Does anyone out there have any experience with cloth diaper "Pull-Ups"? I am considering them and wondered what the overall consensus was on them? Worth it? I'm sure it depends on how long your kid actually needs them before being fully potty-trained, which, unfortunately, cannot be accurately predicted, but anyone with experience who is willing to fill me in would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, clothies!

Book Review: The Weird Sisters

2012-02-09T16:00:00.000-05:00

Usually when I am asked to do book reviews, I get introduced to new authors, but this time I got offered a book that EVERYONE and their mother has been asking me if I'd read yet: The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown. The book centers around three sisters raised by a Shakespeare-obsessed father who return home to care for their sick mother and are thrown back into the issues and arguments of their childhood, so maybe it is because I have a Master's degree in literature, or maybe it's just because people think I'm weird, but they're all shocked that I haven't read it yet.

I'm not going to lie though -- I felt a lot of pressure once this book appeared and starting hanging out on my nightstand. I was sure I was going to have to keep my guard up, that this book would have little hidden references that only "literature people" would get, or that the book would be simple on the surface but that everyone would be talking about the hidden metaphors and whatnot and make me feel stupid when I was done reading because I had missed it all.

Thankfully, as soon as I began reading, I was assured that this was a novel I would love and it was not out to "trick" me. I did not have to be on guard; I just had to enjoy the ride. The sisters Bianca (Bean), Cordelia (Cordy), and Rosalind (Rose) were so real from the first few pages that I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop reading until I learned everything about them that I possibly could.

The most interesting thing about this book is definitely the sisters, and the weird part is that they are flawed -- OH so flawed -- and they make it clear that they don't like each other at all -- how can sisters dislike each other as much as these women do? -- but somehow I still liked them, cared about their plights, and wanted to know how things ended up for them. It took me a long time to shake that "We really dislike each other" line that appears early in the book, because my sister and I might not be joined at the hip, but I would never characterize my feelings for her that way. It's just a sister thing, and these sisters don't have it. But in the end, that's one of the things that makes the book interesting, and the book is definitely unique in many ways, so it really all comes together and all makes sense in the end.

I hate book reviews that give away the plot, so I won't do that. What I will say is Eleanor Brown is some who better write a LOT more books for me, and all those people who were telling me to read this book were definitely right.

To read more, visit the BlogHer: http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-weird-sisters

I was given a copy of The Weird Sisters and compensated for this review, but it reflects my own opinions, because I'm mean and would tell you if I hated it.

Book Review: Paranormal: My Life in Pursuit of the Afterlife

2012-02-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

I didn't know anything about Raymond Moody when I was offered this book for review, but I now know that he is a pioneer in the field of near-death experiences. I thought I was getting his memoir, but this book is hard to characterize. There is some information about his personal life, but not much. What the book actually entailed was a recounting of what triggered his interest in a topic, then how he conducted research, then what he wrote about it, and what he said in the book, and then it is repeated when he gets interested in another topic. In the end there are a few revelations about his personal life that tie into his decades of research, but nothing that gave me shivers or anything.

I was really on the fence the entire time I was reading this book, so I think I will break it down into reasons I liked it and reasons I didn't like it so much.

Positives: First of all, I had no idea that Moody actually coined the terms "near-death experience" and "out-of-body experience," among others. Once I knew who I was reading about, I was interested in his research, I really was. I also liked that if you had never read anything by Moody (like myself), he basically summed up his major studies and publications, giving you an interesting overview of his work. If you think you might be interested but not enough to read all his other books, then this book is for you. I was also very interested in many of his beliefs regarding the therapeutic purposes of near-death experiences, past-life regressions, and scrying.

Negatives: If you have already read Moody's books, or plan to, a HUGE portion of this book is him repeating what is in those books, so if you are already familiar with him, you probably aren't learning too much from this book. If you're looking for details about his personal life or deep insight into his mind, I really don't think you'll find it here. In fact, I often found myself wondering if this was just a big promotional event to get his other books selling again, which made me swear to NEVER buy one of his other books. Maybe it was just me, but it seemed like the function of this book was just to remind people that his books were best-sellers.

I was truly fascinated by the way Dr. Moody explained these activities, his personal interpretations of them, and how he believes they can be used for therapeutic purposes, but I just kept feeling like I was reading the Cliffs Notes versions of his great works with a few bland transition stories in between.

However, I do think some of these topics might be ones I read more about, even though they never interested me before, so in the end I suppose that makes the book a success, right?

If you've read this or other Moody, I'd love to hear your opinion. If you'd like to hear the opinions of the other readers on this tour, click HERE for the schedule.

Crybaby(mama)

2012-02-03T11:35:00.000-05:00

So ... I'm pregnant. Now that we're all caught up, let me tell ya some things. These ... symptoms? I don't like to describe it that way. I mean, I don't have a disease, just something growing inside of me ... okay that sounds kind of disease-like, but STILL. These ... side effects? GUH. Someone tell me a better word. Moving along. The side effects of pregnancy are rather difficult for me, which makes me really glad that I blogged so g-d much on my baby blog the last time around, because now I can go back and be like, Huh, is it NORMAL to have a headache that lasts for 3 weeks without giving up at all? Oh yes, apparently it is for me, and last time the doctor said not to worry about it. Got it. And again and again and again ad infinitum with all the annoying things I am feeling.

One thing I did not have to go back to the archives to remember more clearly? The CRYING. Oh, the crying.

I will freely admit that I was a crier before the knocking-up of it all, but I had gotten much better in the latter half of my twenties ... Veronica, no one is helped by you crying every time the Humane Society commercial comes on. Donate money or turn off the TV. Everything else you do is pointless. See how logical I had become? But these hormones -- they are NOT JOKING AROUND. Obviously my body is rather susceptible to these fluctuations, which is why I still can't bend at the waist without puking and I get dizzy in the shower, so why would I expect to not be bombarded with all these extra feelings.

Sorry. Couldn't help myself.

I cry ALL. THE. TIME. I cry on the way to work. I cry those three nights a week when I get home from work and see Josephine's little face in the monitor, knowing I wasn't home to put her to bed (it's not like she's putting herself to bed or something -- JEREMY is the one doing it, so it's not a big deal, but ... it just is a big deal). I cry if she wakes up in the night because I'm JUST SO TIRED, then I cry because I should be concerned about my BABY who is obviously having troubles and will also not be well-rested and happy in the morning, then I cry about crying while holding my baby in the middle of the night and likely confusing her. I cry a lot.

However, the biggest mistake I have consistently been making is watching GLEE. I started watching at the beginning of the second season, and so for the past few weeks I have been watching all of Season 1, which then immediately sent me re-watching all of Season 2. It's a slippery slope. I ask Josephine, "Want to watch the singing and dancing?" and she claps and screams. That means YES. She freaking LOVES that show and dances the entire time.

Anyway, the problem is, that show makes me cry anyway, but now pretty much EVERY musical number shuts me down. For example, here is a short list of a few of the songs by the GLEE cast that made me cry in the past few days:

"River Deep, Mountain High" was one of the songs I listened to over and over the first time I was pregnant, and I know that the song is not really about this, but I just kept imagining this little person I had been dying to meet and had hoped and wished for for years and years, and I just knew that I loved her more than anything already, and I would love her more and more every day, and one day her and I would sing and dance to that song in our living room. Welp, I just started crying when I typed that run-on sentence.

Good god, then the glee kids sang "Born This Way" while one at a time revealing shirts that had something written on it that they used to not like about themselves but had come to accept. SOB SOB SOB. Every show has a culminating musical number like this, where some big emotional climax is being expressed through song -- like I said, I cry when not pregnant, but every single song now makes me think of my kids. I hope my kids love and accept themselves and can ignore people who want to make them feel bad about themselves. Like I said, SOB.

Then there's this one: I played it for Jeremy, and he was genuinely confused at my tears. I know the verses are talking about something else, but the chorus -- "Tonight/We are young/So let's set the world on fire/We can burn brighter/Than the sun." I know it sounds like such an old person thing to say, but I didn't set the world on fire when I was young, and I truly hope my children burn brighter than the sun in the glory of their youth. I hope they do the things I was too scared to do. I hope they really live their lives, unafraid of what other people say, and do the things that will make themselves happy and proud and fulfilled.

And the Israel Kamakawiwoʻole version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"? Come on. I cry every time I hear that, even when I'm NOT pregnant.

It's just that combination of all those young voices and the dancing and the glimmer in their eyes. It kills me. Even songs like Bruno Mars' "Valerie" and John Legend's "Rolling in the Deep" send me into tears. When I told Jeremy that I thought the GLEE version of "Rolling in the Deep" was more moving than the original version? He almost lost his mind. I don't know what to tell you. I just can't help myself.

Someone take away my Netflix. It's the only solution.

P.S. Obviously, I do not own the rights to any of the youtube videos or songs posted here. Take it up with youtube, not me.

This House is (Not) Clean. Send Me That Little Lady, Cuz I Obviously Need Her.

2012-01-31T11:51:00.001-05:00

There's evil in this house. That evil is ... cutting five teeth on the same day. I don't even know how to being to explain this evil to you, that's how powerful it is. It began with normal cranking and refusing to sleep through the night for an entire week, then one morning I woke her up and she was bucking and screaming and flailing and simply inconsolable. I checked her mouth and her last first-year molar finally cut the gums along with ALL FOUR CANINES.

EVIL.

I don't know if it's these particular teeth -- I mean, they are all sharp and pointy and shark-like; total evil if you ask me -- or the fact that FIVE broke through at once, or more realistically, probably a combination of the both, but this child has been having ISSUES for the past few days.

Today was one of the most mystifying and disturbing of them all. She had been quietly and happily playing with this toy:

When all of a sudden she whipped her head around, glared at me, then came running at me like a charging bull, screaming louder than I have ever heard. She spent the next twenty minutes flailing herself around like she needed an exorcist -- she would reach out for me, I would hold her to try to comfort her, and she would immediately push me away. As soon as I let her go, she would reach out for me -- this loop repeated over and over and over. Near the end of the "episode," I was holding her and trying to talk to her, and she reared her head back ... god, I could see it happening in slow motion but could do nothing to stop it ... and she slammed her forehead into my cheekbone. I saw stars, she screamed at me like I had attacked her. It was a disaster.

I brought her toys, bounced her, left her alone, talked to her, sang to her, put on the TV to distract her -- nothing. Finally, I put on an episode of GLEE (her fave) and she stopped for a few seconds at a time. So crazy. Quiet for three seconds, turning to look at me and leaning in to scream like a demon, then turning back to watch GLEE quietly for a few seconds. I thought I was losing my mind.

Finally, I fast-forwarded to the GLEE kids singing Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" (which NEVER fails to make her smile, sing, and dance), and she was fine. Funk totally over. But I forgot that at the end of the song all the kids start puking. I had to bury my head in the couch cushions to keep from losing my anti-nausea pills and water breakfast, but it was worth it to end the evil.

Two minutes later she was drinking from my cup and acting like nothing had happened. Wth?

Someone tell me this is normal. I'll print out your comment and hang it on the walls of my house to keep me sane.

Also, who's with me on some sort of surgical alternative to teething -- cutting the gums and pulling all the teeth up at once or something? I'm looking into it for the next one.

Super-Low-Cal, Super-Easy, Super-Delicious Cake

2012-01-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

Super-Low-Cal, Super-Easy, Super-Delicious Cake

Has everyone seen the "Diet Soda Chocolate Cake" thingy? If you're on Pinterest, I'm assuming you have, because I see that pin ALL the time.* I've heard most people credit the idea to Weight Watchers. Well done.

Basically, you use a chocolate cake mix and 10 oz. of Diet Coke, bake according to box directions, and BAM, less than 100 calories with lite whipped cream.

I have been meaning to try it for ages, but now that I'm having a hard time with most (all) delicious foods, the thought of chocolate cake just seemed like too rich. But I have been craving sweets, so I figured I could find a way to lighted it up. I read one person tried the recipe with chocolate cake and diet cream soda (although she added two egg whites, which seems to negate the point of the cake, but whatever) and I knew what I wanted to do. Ready?

White cake mix and DIET CHERRY 7-UP.

IT IS DELICIOUS. Simply divine. Light, sweet, excellent flavor. In the summer I would toss fresh strawberry slices on this and call it a fancy dessert for company.

And that's the story, my friends. How I made a delicious and practically no-calorie cake. The combinations are endless. I want to try diet orange pop and vanilla cake mix next - orange creamsicle!

*If you're not on Pinterest and want an invite, shoot me an e-mail (see Contact in the tabs)

Funny Stuff My Husband Says (or Types), Vol. XIX

2012-01-28T15:03:00.001-05:00

And here's another reason why it's always entertaining to be married to my husband: You might just get an e-mail like this in the middle of the day:

What say you, Internet friends? :)

New Baby is Demanding. No Idea Where He/She Gets It.

2012-01-24T10:50:00.000-05:00

I think maybe this new babe wants to make sure I remember he/she is around. That little beansprout sure is making a lot of waves. Such is the life of a second child, I suppose.

I have already been back to the doctor for a few more complications, and this time I got to see the doctor who delivered Josephine. She knows me much better than the midwife, and based on all the problems I was having, I got an antibiotic (yuck -- just something to add to the nausea) and a quick peek at the baby.

Now let me back-track a bit (I'm nothing if not confusing). At the ER, I spent an HOUR in the ultrasound room, and did I get to see the little tadpole? NOT ONCE. Did they ever say "Things look fine"? NO. Did I eventually start crying a little and say "Is there a baby in there and is it where it's supposed to be"? (At this point I was exhibiting some symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy, so I was in full freak mode) Yup. And guess what that stupid chick did? PAUSED. She PAUSED. It felt like a full ten minutes, but was at least a full 30 seconds. Long enough for me to have three heart attacks. Then, she says ... get this ... "Well, I see the beginnings of what could one day become a baby ..." Good god. All I wanted to know is if I was still pregnant and it was in my uterus. Tell me that and I will leave you well enough alone. We don't need to have a whole big debate here. I know that thing inside me still has a little bit of a tail and is only the size of a lentil, but for PETE'S SAKE, it is my BABY, so just tell me "everything looks okay" and you don't have to be politically correct for fear I will sue the hospital.

Anyway, that was a very long way of saying that even though there have been many bumps in the road already and I have been concerned for my little beansprout's well-being, I have never been given assurance through seeing him/her or hearing the heartbeat.

BUT, last week my doctor said "Well, I know the ultrasound tech is on her way out for the day, but I bet she will hook you up and let you see the baby and hear the heartbeat. Will that make you feel better?"

Yes, of course, but then there's the whole thing about her actually thinking it was something that was worth being done. My practice is very hands-off (like the only ultrasound you usually get is the big anatomy check at 20 weeks, no matter how much you beg) -- they only give you an ultrasound, even brief ones, for very good reasons. So I now knew that my doctor was perhaps concerned enough to want to check to see if things were okay. Sooo ... you take the good with the bad, I suppose, but I SAW THE BEANSPROUT! I don't want to sound braggy, but the ultrasound tech was like, "Since it's so small, it's hard to make out the body ... " and I interrupted her and pointed it out. Luckily she's nice and kept her thoughts on my know-it-all-ness to herself.

Anyway, it's a tiny little gummy bear (today it is about one-inch long!) and it was pretty hilarious to see how HUGE my uterus is compared to that tiny thing. It made me feel a little better though, because even though I'm a little flabby, this belly really is a lot of pregnant belly. My uterus takes its job very seriously and got right to getting huge, what can I say? Did I say uterus enough for you in this post? Uterus. That should do it.

ALSO, the heartbeat was 173 (at the hospital it was 130, which made me nervous), which is EXACTLY was Josephine's was. :)

Josephine was with me during the ultrasound, and she just sat in a chair next to me and stared at the monitor. She was SO good and such a big girl. She melted my heart.

So, to sum up, little beansprout is doing just fine, and the bean is cuter than ever. In fact, if you made it through all that, here is your reward: pictures of Josephine playing dress-up with Jeremy while I was at work yesterday!

That's a scarf, a crown, and one hand in two pairs of mittens that are still attached.

Apparently we love excess!

Cheese to the extreme!

The queen takes an almond milk break.

Jeremy said she got into the tupperware cupboard and wouldn't let go of this plastic wineglass for anything. Sorry if this offends you, but we find it funny. :)

My little movie star. <3

Josephine Update!

2012-01-21T11:35:00.000-05:00

As promised: A Josephine update. I couldn't have a Josephine update without talking about sleep. SIGH. I'm not quite sure what her deal is, but she fluctuates between two distinctly different schedules: 1) Sleeps like an angel from 8 PM to 8 AM, nap from noon until 2:45 PM and 2) Goes to sleep at 8 PM, wakes up crying one to five times, nap from whenever she finally falls asleep after I put her down at noon until 45 minutes later. Guess which schedule leaves me with a happy girl and which one leaves me with a crankopotamus?

It's infuriating, because I KNOW she can sleep, and she's so much happier when she does, and she will go days in a row on the "ideal" schedule, and then all of a sudden she does the "can't sleep" thing for a few days. Maybe it's just hard being perfect and she can only manage it for so long? Who knows. After her worst nap ever the other day (2 hours of crying and fighting her nap, then half an hour of sleep), when I gave up and brought her downstairs, she asked me to put these sunglasses on her:

Of course I obliged. How appropriate that she has "crabby" sunglasses. (Thanks, Allerses! She obviously really needed them!)

Okay, moving on to cuter things. She is OBSESSED with crayons.

Unfortunately, this obsession involves eating the crayons and coloring on my walls. I guess that's the price you have to pay to raise an artist.

Whenever she sees a cow, she will shout "MOO!" Whenever she sees a sheep, she will shout "BAA!" Whenever she sees a dog, she will say "woof." The "woof" isn't quite as confident and clear as the other sounds, but she's working on it. She does the best woof when she sees her stuffed Clifford.

Speaking of words, I believe this is the current list of words in her vocabulary:

-Moo, baa, and woof (obviously)
-Ma/mama

-Hi (actually "HIIIIIIIIIIIIII-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" with head tilted to side, big smile, and a wave)

-Da/Dada/Daddy ("daddy" sounds like "daaaaah-DEEEEE!")

-Uh-oh (and she usually puts her hands up to cover her mouth when she says it, like dropping something is a catastrophe)

-Ball (she said this all of a sudden and clear as a bell)

-Yeah (she says is over and over and nods her head)

-Bay (baby)

-Bey-ee (this means belly button, and her finger is usually inside of yours while she is saying it)

-Mee-ya (meow - when she sees a cat other than our cat)

-Kih-ee (kitty - for MoJo)

-Daw (dog - for Cleo)

-Kee-oh (Cleo)

-Dee (not sure, but she says it when she can't see one of us and wants us to come show ourselves, so she commands "DEE!")

-Weeeeee! (an expression of joy, usually when sliding - down a real slide or something she has made into a slide, like at the doctor's office the other day when she used the controls to make the part under my legs into a slide and slid down over and over, shouting WEEEEE! while the doctor asked me questions.)

And then there's this word ... it's hard to describe. It's like a combination of the sounds "goo" "goon" and "gee" (if that even makes sense) and she doesn't open her mouth to say it; it's more like a grunt deep in her throat. It's her all-purpose word, but usually means "what is that?" "give me that" "why can't I have that?" or "I want to eat that." Of course, we do the whole, "Oh, do you want this? Okay, I can give you this. Thanks for asking." But the word is hanging around. It showed up during the time period where she had started saying a few words and then all of a sudden got frustrated and stopped talking for a little while. My theory is she got frustrated because she had so much to say and only a few words she could say. Maybe she gave up for a little while? During that time, she only made that weird grunting sound. She doesn't say it as much now, but she keeps it around for emergencies.

She got a piggy bank for Christmas, and she believes it should exclusively be used for riding.

I guess I should have gotten her a rocking horse (I'm looking into it).

She is still the busiest little bee you will ever meet. She NEVER. STOPS. MOVING. EVER.

She is really into all types of imaginative play. She got tea sets and fake food and a doctor kit for Christmas, and she is ALL about them.

She likes to play chasing games with dad. She LOVES having dad chase her: she squeals as she runs away, then when he catches her, she just dies laughing. Jeremy also started a new game where he hides around a corner, and when she goes and finds him, he squeals and runs away, so she dies laughing and then chases him.

She is interested in whatever dad is doing. Jeremy would disagree, but I think she is way more interested in him than she is in me (I don't blame her; I'm pretty boring).

She LOVES brushing her teeth.

The dancing. OH, the dancing. I wish I had a video of all her crazy-awesome dance moves, but whenever we turn on the camera, she stops dancing and mugs for the camera. But, my current favorite is this move: she puts her arms out straight behind her, bends deep at the knee, then bounces her behind up and down. This is the best picture I have ever managed to get of it:

And here is one to illustrate just how seriously she takes her craft:

She was in the midst of a deep head-bang. :)

She is testing her limits. There are many things that she knows she cannot touch, like the DVD player, so she will go up slowly, and SLOWLY reach out a finger to touch it, and you don't even have to say "no," you just have to say her name, and she will turn around look at you very seriously, and shake her head no. The other night she touched the laptop while Jeremy was playing her music on it, and Jeremy said no, so she touched a few other places on the laptop (still no), then she touched the table right next to the laptop, and Jeremy said, "Yep, that's okay to touch," so she went around touching things (the couch, a book) and looking at Jeremy for approval.

Even in the deepest of her funks, she can always be cheered up by Jeremy pretending to hurt himself. In this clip, Jeremy had just slipped and fallen (on purpose) and Josephine loses her mind:

It's slightly disturbing to me, but you gotta do what you gotta do to stop the screaming and crying. :)

All in all, she is growing faster than I ever imagined, and she is a feisty, fun, smart little kid. :)

And So The Pregnancy Rambling Begins

2012-01-17T23:02:00.001-05:00

Welp, yesterday was the first BIG BABY APPOINTMENT at the OB/GYN, and for some reason, I got all excited again like last time. But basically it was filling out a lot of paperwork (Jeremy asked, Ummm, don't they have all the information about your last pregnancy that they need? Yes, they do. Sadly, they need me to sum it up for them). This time it was even less anti-climactic. They were like back again so soon? Hahaha! and I was like Haha ... yup. and they gave me lists and timelines and since I had gotten a ton of tests and exams done while I was in the hospital, all I had to give them was a little pee and a little blood and I was on my way.

I mean, I guess I wasn't expecting them to magically make my overwhelming nausea and cramping go away, and I knew they wouldn't provide me with anything earth-shattering, like a picture of my baby's face or some info on the gender (Come on, science! Shouldn't we be able to tell before 20 weeks? Get on that!), but for some reason I always get all excited about the first appointment and then come away all deflated.

I'm pretty sure it's because I'm still at that point where I keep wondering if I'm REALLY pregnant. I mean, I'm as sick as sick can be, so that is rather telling, but it's not like later in your pregnancy when you can feel the baby move and there's no denying it. It still could all be a big mistake at this point, you know? Okay, you probably don't because that makes no sense, but I felt like this for a long time last time, too.

In other news, I ate a bowl of cereal AND a bowl of soup today. Then I had a piece of string cheese and a pickle when I got home from work at 10:30, so GO ME. I increased my food consumption by about 80% there, so I would call that a major success. This means, of course, that I am still sick as all get-out, and the mere thought of food is torture.

Jeremy keeps saying, "But you NEED to eat," and I get that. I do. But it's like this: imagine there was something incredibly horrible and painful and downright torturous -- say, poking yourself in the eye with an ice pick -- and then let's say you had to do this to yourself many times a day. Do you want to? NO. Of course not! Why would you torture yourself? Now say someone reminds you that you have to do it. Doesn't make it any easier. Eating is really like that (I mean, I guess NOT, but it's pretty damn bad). Drinking a sip of water makes me feel a hundred times worse than I already do.

So yeah, things are great *crazy laughter*. Just kidding. I didn't dive off the deep end yet. In fact, Jeremy had the last three days off in a row (!) and he told me to REST and RELAX and I DID and it was AMAZING. But now I have to go back to that sassy child of mine. All the time. Every day. (Who knew ya had to rear 'em after ya birthed 'em?) Then teaching night classes. Then staying up all night, because, oh yeah, did I mention that insomnia flared up REAL BAD? It did.

Okay, this is turning into one bummer of a complain-y post, and I apologize for that. I had all these other things in my head that I was going to add to this, and the complain-y part was only going to be like one paragraph. Huh. So, since I never write anymore and this counts as writing, I'm going to go ahead and slap a title on it and call it a day. How about this, though? I will leave you with a picture and a promise that the next post will be an update on all the funny and darling things Josephine has been doing lately. DEAL.

Here's me with my 8 week bump ... pretty much the same size as two women I know who are 13 and 17 weeks along. Precious, right?

What can I say? I should have sucked it in more. Life lessons, people. And you get 'em here for free. Tell you friends. ALSO, you can hold up a picture of yourself next to this one and feel REALLY good about yourself. Geez, who am I these days, the G-D Dalai Lama? Must be the hormones.

Our Game Changer

2012-01-13T08:49:00.000-05:00

I've been lying to you. And I'm sorry. I'm SO very sorry. It wasn't a straight-out lie. Like when I tell strangers their children are "lovely." That's code for "killing me." This lie was a lie of omission. But it ends now.

It is why I haven't been posting lately. Because there were SO MANY things I could not share because I would be found out. If I told you what my life has truly felt like for the past few weeks, the jig would have been up. But now I'm free to tell you.

Are you assuming the reason I am stalling with the news is because it is the most earth-shattering news you will hear all week? Maybe that's true. No promises.

Oh, how I wish I could peer into your minds and see what you are imaging!

I knew she starting hooking!

She got a book deal AND signed with a record label? I'm so jelly!

She finally got her tail surgically removed!

She had a TAIL?!?!!?

You're truly fans. And friends.

Okay, that was too much build-up, but I can't take it back now (no, I DON'T have a delete button).

Here is your one and only clue:

Got it?

Yup. It wasn't Irish twins, but as close as I could get 'em! Josephine's second birthday will be August 9th, and baby number 2 is due August 27th. If this one is as anxious to enter the world as his/her big sister was, then Josephine might have one HECK of a birthday week.

What else couldn't I tell you? THE SICKNESS!! OH, the nausea, the tireds, the crybaby syndrome. Lifting my head off the couch just recently became a thing of reality, and this was only accomplished by strong medication. Following a trip to the hospital. Yes! I had to go to the hospital and not call my mother in tears or ANYTHING! Here's a little rundown:

December 22nd: 99% sure I am pregnant. Don't want to highjack another Christmas with another pregnancy announcement. Decide to wait until after festivities to take test. Give Jeremy a heads up (he is unconvinced of said pregnancy).

December 23rd - 27th: Longest Christmas ever as I am exhausted, emotionally unstable, prone to crying and stealing food and hiding while I eat my second (and third) helpings in shame.

December 28th: Am so ill I have to skip out on the last Christmas with dear, dear relatives whom I hardly ever see. Tell Jeremy we are taking a test TONIGHT. Guess what? That pregnant line showed up in about ONE SECOND. I tell Jeremy. He does not believe me. Then he believes me. Then we celebrate. Decide to wait a while to tell people (I have no idea WHY since, I can't keep a secret and will likely start to show ANY DAY. Remember last time?)

December 29th: Start talking baby names. Discuss the pros and cons of Girl-Girl and Girl-Boy birth orders. Sickness gets worse. Eating decreases even more.

December 31st: Jeremy's parents babysit while we have an anniversary date. Cannot believe we are not telling them. Am so nervous. This is the last night I remember eating a meal.

January 1st - 5th (let's get things moving, am I right?): Become more and more ill. Daily food intake is generally three crackers with laughing cow cheese, a cup a tea, a handful of grapes, and a pathetically small serving of whatever I made the other people I live with for dinner. While breastfeeding. Crying increases. Learn to stop bending at the waist, because any time, I do ... bad things happen. The thought of food makes me gag.

January 6th: The thought of water now makes me gag. At 8 AM I have half a glass of water and two ounces of a protein drink. When nothing else is consumed by 3 PM, I call my doctor. I am sent to the Emergency room (maybe I will recount that whole experience, because it was something else). After an hour, Jeremy has to take Josephine home. I turn into the saddest sack ever at the hospital, all alone. After two liters of fluids, I am still showing signs of dehydration. Test show MINOR complications (not sure how to feel about these yet), but overall healthy pregnancy. Doctor gives me anti-nausea meds. I am skeptical since my foray into this in my last pregnancy was a bust. Still feel pretty miserable when I get home. Friends stop by and our cover is likely blown. They are nice enough to pretend they don't know I'm pregnant.

January 7th: Get my prescription for anti-nausea meds filled, pop one, and a half an hour later, SWEET RELIEF. I ate, I drank, I sat upright. Which is a good thing, because my parents and sister came to visit. We told them, because I REFUSED to sit alone in a hospital again with this pregnancy. I need to have a shoulder to cry on, even if just over the phone. I'm selfish like that. Plus, I'M PREGNANT!!!!!! YAY!!!!! A NEW LITTLE LOVELY BABY WHO WILL LIKELY LOOK EXACTLY LIKE MY HUSBAND BECAUSE APPARENTLY I WAS NOT INVOLVED IN THE SLIGHTEST IN MAKING JOSEPHINE!!!

See? TWINS.

January 8th: Tell Jeremy's family. Get rave reviews.

January 11th: Finally manage to finish contacting the remaining immediate family members and share the good news.

Today: Jeremy gives me the thumbs up to share with the Internet.

It's been quite the ride, and the craziest bits are still ahead of us, but we are oh-so-excited. :)

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XVIII: Green Giant

2012-01-07T21:22:00.001-05:00

Jeremy, while riding the stationary bike that he rides EVERY day:

You know, there's got to be a way to hook this bike up to energy-storing batteries; then I could use the energy I create by riding.

*goes deeper into thought*

Then I would teach Cleo to run on a treadmill and save all THAT energy. Now THAT'S green.

Book Review: Folly Beach

2012-01-03T16:46:00.000-05:00

Folly Beach by Dorothea Benton Frank is the story of Cate, who once had it all and through a hailstorm of tragedies, finds herself single, homeless and broke. She makes the trip from New Jersey to South Carolina and is taken in by her aunts who raised her. It is here that she starts over, builds and new life, and is deeply inspired by the playwrights Dorothy and DuBose Heyward (of Porgy and Bess fame).

Let me break this all down for you. First of all, the story starts off with Cate living in the lap of luxury in Jersey. She is richer than rich -- mansion and private jet rich -- because of her husband's work. She does not work, and instead complains about how unfulfilled her life is. Herumph. As someone living at the other end of the wealth spectrum, I found the complaining less-than-adorable. Then, when she lost it all and had to adapt to a life where -- GASP -- there was no one to cook and clean for her and she couldn't get her hair blown out three times a week in the salon? Yeah, I still wasn't feeling too sorry for the lady.

BUT, at this point, the story was already moving along nicely, and I barely noticed it took more than 70 pages for her to get to the "starting life over" point, which was actually the beginning of the real story.

My only other complaint is that every chapter of Cate's story is alternated with a scene from a play about Dorothy Heyworth. We later learn that this is the play Cate is inspired to write, and that's lovely, but the play takes you right out of the moment, and is really not necessary to the story at all. There are some interesting tidbits here and there about the lives of the Heywards and their collaboration with George Gershwin, but nothing that couldn't have been included in the context of the novel, as many other details were.

Again, however, I was able to overlook this writing device that I find particularly lame because I quickly became interested in the characters.

And this is why I devoted so much of this review to the parts of the story that really bothered me -- because a book that had two things that frustrated and annoyed me was still able to keep my interest, make me laugh, and make me think. The 350+ pages moved quickly, and neither the plot or dialogue ever seemed forced. I found much to love in Frank's characters and the character of Folly Beach itself. Frank's research into the Charleston Renaissance, the Heywards and Gershwin was also commendable. All in all, Folly Beach was a fun and interesting read, and one that even inspired me to check out more of Frank's large repertoire of work.

I am reading this as part of a TLC Book Tour. If you want to see what any of the other tour guides had to say, click HERE to see the full tour schedule and check out other blogs.

I was given a free copy of Folly Beach but was not compensated for this review. The opinions are my own.

Glass Half Full

2012-01-01T10:43:00.005-05:00

Me: Wait, wasn't the world supposed to end in 2012?

Jeremy: Well, not in the first seconds of 2012.

Me: Oh. Is there a specific day?

Jeremy: Yes, the Mayans said December 21st, 2012.

Me: Wow! We have practically a whole year left! What is everybody complaining about?

Happy New Year!

The Christmas Recap

2011-12-30T18:45:00.000-05:00

I had a bunch of things rolling around in my head that I wanted to say about this Christmas, but I'm still far too wiped out to remember any of it. I do remember that one thing I was going to do was a comparison of last year's sitting on Santa's lap picture with this year's, since they are basically identical, BUT our scanner is having ISSUES, so how about I just show you last year's and you imagine she is one year older with the exact same look on her face?

Did you imagine it? Thanks.

This was the year of six Christmases. That's a lot of Christmases. And a lot of driving and packing and unpacking and babies waking up EVERY SINGLE HOUR ALL NIGHT EVERY NIGHT because they refuse to sleep in beds that are not their own, and I know, I KNOW, can you EVEN BELIEVE I found a way to complain about so many people wanting to celebrate Christmas with us and shower our progeny with gifts?

So, how about I just do what I always do and show you some pictures and we all call it a day? Yes? Excellent.

Christmas #1 (Our house; fake Christmas Eve, 12/21, fake Christmas Day, 12/22)

Squatting. Keeping it real.

Stealing dad's Christmas PJs

The Night Before Christmas

Christmas morning and DINOSAURS!

Awww, opening like a big girl.

Then things took a dangerous turn.

I hate opening!

Look how sad I am! Leave me be!

We had a return to happy when she opened her tunnel ...

Then the top of this box collapsed and she fell in. That was it for opening.

Luckily she had ten GAZILLION toys to play with. And we had five Christmases to go.

Oh yeah, and I got this. Thank you, Santa!

Christmas #2 (My parents' house, with my older sisters and nieces and nephews; 12/23)

I REFUSE to finish opening this gift. I shall sit upon it to show my indignation. (P.S. I made that dress! It's a little long, but I LOVE it.)

Oh, wait. I LOVE this thing!

Then she opened like a big girl when all the cousins were opening at once! Yay!

Then the shrieking began. Oh, the SHRIEKING. A little while later we noticed her grossly inflamed gums. And remembered she refused to take a nap. Oh yeah.

Luckily, some indoor sled practice really did the trick.

Christmas #3 (My mom and dad's house; 12/24)

I really thought we were starting the morning off right, what with the massage chair and singing a little tune in the microphone.

Indeed, we got some good participation out of her.

Then she turned.

All she wanted was to sled.

So, we Jeremy obliged.

I love this photo not because my child is falling over (she barely touched the ground, Jeremy reports), but because Cleo is dashing to her rescue.

Cleo kept a very close eye on her from there on out. I love that dog.

Christmas #4 (Jeremy's Gran's house - ALL his aunts and uncles and cousins; 12/25)

She got to play with her bestie, Harrison.

Then they ran all over the house, causing trouble.

But she left with a Tigers pillow pet. SCORE!

Christmas #5 (Jeremy's mom and dad, brothers and sisters; 12/26)

As usual, when there is a grandparent around, she got a *little* spoiled.

We had a slight meltdown here as well, but after a nap break and an outfit change, she was good to go. She even requested a bow on her head.

And she was pretty dang charming for the rest of the opening. Taking a picture of her next present with her new toy camera. Priceless.

She even helped clean up!

Then it was the 27th, and time to head home.

She squeezed in time for a quick tea party before we left, however.

The ride home was ... not pleasant. And don't let this picture fool you ... she was NO where near sleepy. Just overtired and cranky. :(

I would hand her a toy, she would play with it momentarily, then throw it on poor Cleo, who was also so tired that she just slept right through it.

Christmas #6 (with my cousins; 12/28)

We had to SKIP because I was SICK. And lame.

Well, once again, I have given you too many photos and hardly any words, but I started this post and I was bound a determined to finish it. And I did! Go me!

And now it's almost New Year's Eve. Crap.

How about I just leave you with this?

I hope you had as many beautiful moments as we did (and far less screamy moments!) :)

Magnetic Fishing Game {A Tutorial!}

2011-12-20T08:30:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone for their sweet comments yesterday on the Busy Book! I really appreciate it! :) Another gift I decided to make for Josephine this year was a little magnetic fishing set, and I thought making it out of felt would make it a little more toddler-friendly (not to mention cheaper and easier).

You will need:

*Craft magnets (the stronger the better, since they will be inside the fish); one for each fish and two for the pole (I found a pack of 60 at Hobby Lobby for $6.99 and got them 40% off)

*Felt (I used the sheets from Hobby Lobby that are 25 cents each, and I could easily have made two or three fish from each sheet if I wanted the fish to be one solid color. The glitter and patterned felt were a little more - maybe 33 cents a sheet?)

*Polyfill (Usually about 3 bucks for a big bag)

*Embroidery floss (I got it for 37 cents each) - contrasting or matching colors (or both)

*Needle and scissors

*Dowel

*String

*Hot glue gun or some other strong glue

Here's how to do it:

1. Decide on a shape for your fish, draw a template, and cut out.

2. Get another piece of paper and trace your pieces, adding little margin where you will sew the pieces together (make head, all fins, and front end of body at least a 1/4 to 1/2 inch longer than original).

3. Use your template to trace TWO of each pieces out of your felt.

4. Use embroidery floss to create scales on the body, layer the fins together and make eyes on the head (I used a french knot).

5. Embroider the heads to the body pieces.

6. Begin embroidering the bodies together, beginning with the head.

7. Place the top fin where you would like it, in between the two body pieces.

8. Embroider through the two body pieces with the fins sandwiched in between.

9. Repeat with the tail.

10. Place a magnet inside the two layers, up at the "mouth."

11. Stuff with polyfill to desired "fullness."

12. Place the remaining fin in the opening and embroider shut.

You made a fish with a magnet inside! Bravo!

The trick for not leaving a knot on the outside of the fish when you are done is to put your last stitch through only ONE layer, so your needle is in between the layers, then knot and cut. To start without a knot showing, put your needle in between the two layers and push through, leaving the knot sandwiched in between the two layers.

For the pole, I simply screwed a tiny eye screw into the top of a dowel, then hit it with a dot of hot glue to make sure it wasn't going anywhere.

Next, I tied on a piece of string and also hit the knot with a dot of hot glue. Next, I took two of the magnets, put hot glue on one, put the end of the string in between, and smashed them together nice and tight. I REALLY wanted a donut-shaped magnet, because that would have been much easier, but I could only find them online, and it was like $8 shipping for a 44-cent magnet. No thank you.

Finally, I took some felt and sewed it in place around the exterior of the pole. This makes it a little cuter, but I really did it to prevent slivers and maker sure she didn't poke herself with the eye screw. Obviously it is still a toy that requires supervision, but I was hoping this would help prevent any extra catastrophes.

And there you have it. A lovely little fishing game. :)

The Busy Book! It Is Done!

2011-12-19T07:00:00.000-05:00

I have a lot of pictures of things I made for people this Christmas, but those people read this blog (or so I've been led to believe), so those will have to come after Christmas. But, once again, I felt it was okay to spoil the surprise as to what I'me getting Josephine since she can't read yet. So, I give to you, THE BUSY BOOK!

Please enjoy my braggy photos. It was a labor of love (so I hope she likes it!)

Matching shapes

Whales and fish that move back and forth through the water

A lion with a shaggy mane

Flowers that can be buttoned and unbuttoned and put into the pot/pocket

Lace curtains hanging over the window

Barn doors open to reveal stalls and pig and cow finger puppets

I am SO glad I got the idea to make this back in October, because it ended up taking a MONTH to make. Sometimes that was because I was being meticulous, other times it was because I needed something and had to wait until the next day (or longer) to get back to the craft store, and a few times because I had to take a break when I got all frazzled in the brain.

But it is done. DONE! I don't have a tutorial for you, but I can give you the basic rundown:

After you choose your designs,

1. Cut things out

2. Sew to felt

3. Sew pages together with embroidery floss, using a blanket stitch

4. Put grommets on pages

5. Put rings through grommets

Wow, when you put it that way, it sounds easy. :)

AND Here We Go Again With the Crazies

2011-12-17T10:35:00.000-05:00

My kid is sick. SHIT.

Okay, okay, we are actually SO VERY lucky that Josephine is healthy in general these days. In fact, I seriously cannot remember the last time she was sick. I can't even remember the last time she had a runny nose. I couldn't even find her saline nose spray right away because it had been so long since we'd used it.

I thought a new outfit might help with the sickies:

Eh. Still not feeling so great, mom. But she looks SO CUTE, even with the snotty nose.

But then Yo Gabba Gabba! came on. This led to dancing around the house:

And showing off her belly button (she's pretty big on showing kids her belly button these days):

Of course, that tired her out and she spent the next half hour with her head on my lap, but if she can muster the energy for some dancy-dance, I think we'll make it.

And, this cold (virus?) is a little easier than the last because she can blow her nose. Of course, it would be nice if she ONLY did it when I was holding a tissue up to her nose and not just at any given moment. :)

Unfortunately, every little cold also takes me back to the time when Josephine was sick and no one knew why. Yes, we obviously have it MUCH better than many people; it "only" took two months to discover the problem, and then we were able to fix it. And although those two months were excruciating and heart-breaking, they really were only two months. She got better, and now she is healthy and happy.

I know there are millions of kids who are not so lucky, and I would never put our issues on par with theirs, but there are also millions of kids who don't have to go through two months of agony because her doctors couldn't discover a simple problem, and I have such tremendous guilt over all of it. Why didn't I take her to different doctors? Why didn't I discover the problem myself? Why did I let her go through all of that and let her get the point that she had to be hospitalized and ... oh my god, the hospital. I try really hard not to remember the details of the visit. Tubes, an IV that took an hour of poking to start, starving her for 24 hours to "restart" her stomach lining ...

Again, I know many children go through much worse, but considering how simple the solution was to our problem, I should have been able to discover it much sooner and save her from all those terrors.

Many people have given me excellent advice on what I need to do to forgive myself and move on from all of that, but I really feel like it was my fault that the first few months of her life were filled with pain. That's something I don't see myself getting over anytime soon, and any little sniffle takes me right back there.

Aside from all of that damage, I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but every little sickness sends me to that place -- that place where I realize there are oh-so-many things I cannot control and there are so so many things that are going to hurt my little girl, and there is nothing I can do about many (most) of those things.

For (a very weird) example, Jeremy and I are REALLY over renting, and we have been looking at houses and looking at neighborhoods and researching schools and all of that jazz. It is S-L-O-W, to say the least. Yesterday, while driving home from doing errands, Josephine and I drove past one of the houses we looked at recently, and since it is in one of the neighborhoods we don't know much about yet, I couldn't help but play one of the (many, ridiculous, constant) possible future scenarios in my head: We live in that house, and Josephine is in school, and tells a classmate where she lives, and that brat says something about her living on the wrong side of town.

Tangent: In school we once had to do this whole big project about our hometown and get in groups and make up songs and blah blah blah, and one group got up and sang their song, and one of the lines was "Although everything north of the tracks goes downhill." Guess who lived north of the train tracks? Yeah. Me. And seriously, this town was like10 blocks by 4 blocks, and only two of the blocks were north of the tracks, and there was actually NO "bad" part of town. To be fair, there was some less-than-lovely homes North of the track and WEST of main street, but EAST of main street (MY neighborhood) was LOVELY, and even the not-so-lovely homes were PRETTY nice. Instead of being like, "Whatever, they're fools," I was SO EMBARRASSED. I was crushed beyond belief, and was CERTAIN that all four of those people were staring right at me when they sang the song, and were talking about me when they wrote it.

It was a stupid thing to get upset about, but that didn't stop me from feeling upset. And I imagined some brat kid saying something like to Josephine, and my stomach started churning.

If I stopped and thought about it, I could think of plenty of appropriate responses to the situation, but my first instinct was cuddle Josephine until she falls into a blissful slumber and then hunt down that child and punch him in the face. INappropriate. But this is how my mind works. And I'm sure I'm not alone in that either. I have a feeling there are plenty of other moms who are normally non-violent and logical who also imagine punching kids. PLEASE tell me there are other people who feel like this.

AND ... this all came from Josephine being a little sick. I weep for my future if this is how crazy I have become since becoming a mother.

If you have any sort of compassion, I would adore a comment telling me you can commiserate. :)

This is why they invented cameras in cell phones

2011-12-13T09:46:00.000-05:00

You're driving along, driving along, singing "Old MacDonald" for the TEN THOUSANDTH time, headed to the Hobb Lobb to buy more felt (SHUT UP), when you spot THIS:

You might be thinking, oh, that's a strange-looking toy cat. Guess what? That is a cat that was once alive and now is stuffed. And it LIVES IN THE BACK WINDOW OF HER CAR.

I wonder why the ears are down like that. Did she want to remember her cat how he was when pissed and hissing? Or is the taxidermy job old and the ears are just fading? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

My only wish is that I had followed her to her destination, waited for her to leave the car, and gotten super-close to get a better picture.

I need to re-examine my priorities.

But so does she.

For your piece of mind (mom) -- I was stopped at a stop light while taking the picture, and she turned right on red and snuck away.

What Can I Say? It Seems I Have a Thing for Funny Redheads OR Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XVIII

2011-12-07T06:59:00.001-05:00

SCENE: WE'RE WATCHING CONAN, AND A WOMAN IN THE AUDIENCE GETS TO HUG HIM AND THEN PROMPTLY LOSES HER MIND. JEREMY STARTS MAKING FUN OF HER.

Jeremy: Oh my god, I gotta pause this. Did you see her FACE?
Veronica: Well, I'd be the same way.
Jeremy: What?
Veronica: Yeah. If I met Conan, I might jump up on him and never let go.
Jeremy: Oh really?
Veronica: Yeah, I'd say, "Please come home with us! We love you!"
Jeremy: You'd get sick of him.
Veronica: How could you say that?
Jeremy: You got sick of me, and I'm just as funny as he is. Funnier, actually. *saunters out of room with smug look on his face*

2011 Holiday Giving Guide, Vol. III: Why Didn't I Think of That? Edition

2011-12-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

I know I am a geek, but by god, I know there are plenty more geeks out there. Nothing gets my geek juices flowing like finding a little ditty that will make my life easier or cooler in some way that I hadn't even considered before.

Okay, that sounded vague. How about I just show you what I'm talking about, okay?

Pot Clip, $4

I have a little spoon rest on my stove, but then THAT has to be cleaned too, and come on, there has to be something simple to keep me from getting everything dirty. Here it is, and only $4. A nice little stocking-stuffer!

Scrap Trap Bin and Scraper, $11.99

Here's something else that would make my cooking much easier. Especially since I have approximately 10 inches of counter space, so where I chop the vegetables is where I have to do EVERYTHING else.

Cool Beans Ice Cube Tray, $7.62

I went a little crazy for iced coffee last summer, and I think these would be the perfect addition. Freeze some coffee in the trays, and BAM -- cold coffee without having to brew extra-strong coffee of end up with watered-down coffee. Yes, you could do the same with regular ice cube trays, but these are adorable AND I usually need something visual to remind me to prep things like this.

Slip-on Pour Spout, $4.95

I know a ton of people who would love this little contraption. No matter what I do, I always end up making a mess and/or cursing when draining fat while cooking. Also a nice cheap stocking-stuffer.

Observer Window Bird feeder, $9.56

When I was little, I had a clear bird feeder like this that stuck to a window, and it was the BEST. I had it on my bedroom window and loved watching the birds come and go. I can only imagine how much Josephine and MoJo would love this! Cats and kids aren't the only ones who love watching birds, and I think this is a great inexpensive gift for any nature-lover.

Window Nest Box Birdhouse, $24.95

Same thing here -- can you imagine a little kid watching a mother bird build her nest and keep her eggs warm? ADORABLE.

Waterproof Notepad, $12.95

PLEASE tell me I am not the only person who comes up with amazing ideas in the shower. Seriously, my best ideas come while driving and in the shower. This little notepad will likely be loved by many of your friends who are geeky like me and fear losing fantastic ideas.

Super Scrabble (Extended Play), $39.99

Speaking of geeks: this Scrabble board has extra spaces, extra tiles, and extra bonuses. YESSSSSSSSS. We are gonna need one of these in the Dimick household.

The Complete Paintings of the Louvre, $45.00

Now, if you happen to have classy, cultured friends who either have been to the Louvre and loved it or have always wished they could go: a hardcover book with photos of every single painting. Crazy. (also crazy: this is $40 cheaper on Amazon than anywhere else I found it online)

Digital Photo Keeper, $58.48

This little baby holds 8,000 digital photos. Sure, there are multiple ways to back up your digital photos, but this one is tiny and certainly easier to store than a stack of CDs.

If you have any other "Why didn't I think of that?" type gifts to add to the list, leave them in the comments! I would love to see them!

Happy shopping! I still have a lot to do, so quit telling me on facebook that you are all done. You know who you are.

Book Review: The Lake of Dreams

2011-12-01T19:53:00.001-05:00

Okay, I'm gonna get real with you about The Lake of Dreams by Kim Edwards: between the title (it is hokey, is it not?) and the fact there was a prologue giving a page-and-half snippet of something that happened one hundred years ago (my LEAST favorite device -- JUST START THE STORY ALREADY! These three paragraphs don't intrigue me; they annoy me), I wasn't sure I was going to make it through this book.

However, I found myself pleasantly surprised after ten pages of set-up about the main character feeling lonely, sad, and disconnected (at one point her boyfriend even says "you seem sad and lonely." Guh.), which also weren't my favorite pages of the book, the story actually took off, and I finished the rest of the almost-400-page book in three sittings. This is quite an accomplishment for me these days.

Lucy Jarrett has been traveling the world and avoiding her past, so when she goes home and uncovers secrets from the past, she isn't sure what they have in store for her, and the readers don't know what they have in store for themselves either. This book has a nice mix of self-discovery, sleuthing, and reflecting on themes of acceptance and feminism. While at times the push to see the significance of the suffragettes is forced ("I could only imagine how difficult it must have been!"), the rest of the book makes up for it.

Aside from a few moments here and there, the language is lovely, the characters are interesting, the plot moves along nicely, and the ending is satisfying. All in all, a book I would recommend.

I was compensated for this review, but the opinions are my own. Because, you know ... I'm mean and I would tell you if I hated the book.

Fail, Fail, Fail ... And FINALLY a Win

2011-11-30T20:52:00.001-05:00

Last night the skies open up and shit upon us here in Michigan. Driving home from teaching my night class, which takes 40 minutes tops if I get stuck behind idiots, took an HOUR AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES. I couldn't go any faster than 30 miles an hour the entire 20 miles I spent on the expressway. I saw more than twenty cars and three semis in ditches. As I pulled up the little hill of my driveway ... I got stuck.

After this horrible, horrible night, of course I was happy to be home, safe, and alive, but the real thing on my mind was that I NEVER BOUGHT ANY G-D SNOW BOOTS FOR JOSEPHINE. First snowfall? Sorry kid, we're not going to play in it. Major mother fail.

So we got up this morning, and she saw this in the backyard:

And I was like, okay, let's get dressed and go outside, but WAIT, we can't go explore that awesome white stuff that you are technically seeing for the first time since you were 4 months old last winter -- instead, let's get in the car and drive to a stupid store.

Except, EXCEPT ... you need some form of currency to buy things. After we got all dressed and ready, I opened my wallet to find NO DEBIT CARD. IT happens all the time because I am harried and leave it in pockets and Josephine steals it. Crap. And of course, no cash, because that's just how I roll. There was also my credit card, but I have pledged I would not use it (Jeremy is really into us being a cash-only family as part of our debt-reduction plan, and I try to honor that even though I lose my stupid debit card all the time).

Crap. So I called Jeremy to see if he had seen it around the house. He had not, but said we could meet for lunch and he would give me his. Done and done.

We had a lovely lunch, I drove to the store, and ... Jeremy gave me his pin number, but not his debit card.

Home, meltdown, short nap, Jeremy came home and we went straight to the freakin' store. There, I saw a glorious sign: "Buy one pair of youth boots, get a pair for a dollar."

So we got these beauties:

And these little cuties (I'm picturing her pink sweater dress I made her, white tights, and these. CUTE.):

Long story short (too late), they rang up regular price (the sale was on "fashion boots" and snow boots don't fall under that category). However, the cashier knew I wasn't messing around, and he gave me the sale price. AND I had a 20% off general merchandise coupon, so I got 20% off of that. OH YEAH.

Then we got home and rushed straight out to get the last half hour of light left in the day. And we finally got pictures, GLORIOUS pictures of the first play in the snow.

A few things:
1. YES, I'm aware that her snowpants don't match her coat even a little. The coat was a gift and the snowpants were on sale. You do what you gotta do.
2. Yes, she spent a good deal of time eating snow (you'll see a few sourpuss pictures because the snow is so cold -- but she just kept going back!), and YEAH, I let her eat snow. Get over it.
3. She is pretty cute, huh? :)

Even though I hate snow more than ... pretty much everything ever in the entire world ... Josephine cried when we brought her in the house, so it's a little harder to hate something that the bean loves so much.

You win this time snow, but if the next kid hates snow, I'm back to hating you.

We also ate a ton of food and she wore a turkey shirt. Some things are just universal.

2011-11-26T21:13:00.001-05:00

Yes, it's the obligatory "here's what we did for Thanksgiving" post. This one, however, is classy and awesome because I will be telling you all the things we did that probably made our Thanksgiving unique. Off we go:

1. Josephine greeted people by running up to them at the door and staring up at them.

Okay, she only did it once, but it was pretty funny.

2. We had special balloon time.

Very special.

4. Josephine got a pink cowboy hat.

It's a special "Thanksgiving pink cowboy hat" -- you don't have one? Huh.

5. We had access to THREE dollhouses.

And now she's back to her dollhouse-less home. So sad.

5. Josephine learned the time-honored tradition of putting olives on your fingers then eating them off.

Olives FTW!

It's exciting time we live in, people. I hope you had a lovely holiday and have time to properly recuperate (Jeremy and I are currently on the couch working on exactly that).

Magical Meatloaf

2011-11-21T18:38:00.001-05:00

Before we get to the magical recipe of goodness, two things:

1) NO, Jeremy did not bring me food from the event. He said it was "all packed up" by the time he got a break from swiping credit cards for the silent auction. Likely story. BUT, he DID see inside a local celebrity's wallet and saw he has a Kroger Plus card, so ... now we know he shops at Kroger instead of Meijer. Good to know. Good to know. (Jess and Loe'l -- if either of you are reading this, it was J. C. from the news ... if you can crack that code, you still love him as much as you used to).

2) I HAD to update the 2011 Holiday Giving Guide, Vol. II (for the Wee Ones). There were some things I forgot and I decided to add a few things we already got for Josephine, so if you are still shopping for little ones, check it out. I also added a few previously unpublished Josie pics, so ... yeah.

And now ... a meatloaf I liked!!! GASP! I have NEVER been a fan of meatloaf and seriously thought it was just ketchup mashed onto meat and baked until dry. However, I know Jeremy loves it, and he is nice enough to never request things I don't like or never make, but I came across a new healthier recipe (spoiler alert: there is neither beef nor ketchup in this recipe!) and decided to give it a whirl.

I was pleasantly surprised, to say the least. I thought there was a chance I would like it okay, but I did not plan on loving it. This will definitely be a recipe I make often.

Turkey and Quinoa Meatloaf

adapted from allrecipes.com

Ingredients:
1 20-ounce package of ground turkey
1/4 cup quinoa
1/2 cup water
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 small onion
I large clove garlic
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 tablespoon hot sauce
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 egg
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 additional teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon water

Directions:

1. Bring quinoa and water to boil in a saucepan over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until quinoa is tender and water has been absorbed (about 15 minutes).

A note on quinoa (pronounced keen-WAH ... I'm fairly certain) -- if you haven't used it before, do not fear the quinoa! It is a super grain and can stand alone as a protein and has all kinds of other magical healthy things, but does NOT taste like butt like some other healthy things. I found mine in with the rice/barley/cous cous. (It is also wheat and gluten free, FYI)

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

3. Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Stir in the onion and cook until softened and translucent (about 5 minutes). Add garlic and cook another minute (being careful not to burn); remove both from heat and set aside to cool.

Another side note regarding one of my favorite new "tricks": If you have a recipe that calls for only using part of on a onion, chop up the whole onion, use as much as you need to, then put the remainder in a ziploc baggy and toss in the freezer. Pull out next time you need diced onion and toss in your recipe. Super-convenient for all those recipes I make that start with ground turkey, onion, and garlic. I have no idea why I never thought of this before. I would always leave part of the onion unchopped in the fridge, promising to use it the next day ... then I would find it a week later and have to throw it away. Wasteful!

4. Stir the turkey, cooked quinoa, onions, tomato paste, hot sauce, 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire, egg, salt, and pepper in a large bowl until well combined. Mixture should be very moist.

Gross, I know. I dislike meat, and dislike raw meat even more. If you remember the deep level of my hatred, you will realize just how much I love that husband of mine. I would include Josephine in that, but if she ever isn't into dinner, there are always vegetables and rice and cottage cheese ready for her. This raw meat adventure was just for Jeremy.

5. Shape into a loaf on a foil lined baking sheet.

I went for a circle because I figured it would have some sort of magical advantage over a loaf. Do whatever you want.

6. In a small bowl, combine the brown sugar, 2 teaspoons Worcestershire, and 1 teaspoon water. The directions say to rub this "paste" over the top of the meatloaf. I made this TWICE, and both times it was the same consistency as water, so I just dumped it on. It worked just fine that way, too.

7. Bake at 350 for about 50 minutes or until no longer pink. Internal temperature should read at least 160 degrees Fahrenheit. Let cool for 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Then you have ...

Yes, my slices are pretty small, but they were DEE-lish. It was pretty strange that Jeremy, who likes regular meatloaf, loved this as much as I, who HATES regular meatloaf. Strange but awesome.

If you try it and make the loaf taller, let me know if the meat comes out moist or dry. Perhaps I will experiment with size. Also, maybe the next loaf will be in the shape of a heart. ROMANCE. RAW MEAT ROMANCE.

Seven Things

2011-11-19T20:37:00.001-05:00

I have a few little housekeeping things to tend to, and why not do it on a Saturday night, like the cool kids do?

1. If you follow me on twitter, you have heard the wailing all day, but those of you who haven't, here is the sadness: Another Saturday, another Saturday with Jeremy at work. You would think I might be used to it by now, or I could at least put forth an effort, since it is a permanent part of his job for the foresable future, but DAMMIT, it's a SATURDAY, and we have both had long weeks, and ... it's a SATURDAY. This is why I do stupid things on Saturdays, like leave the house RIGHT AS A MICHIGAN STATE FOOTBALL GAME IS ENDING (stupid!), because I FORGET it is a Saturday. I mean, it's not a Saturday to us.

2. Today was extra-bad for a few reasons. One of those if Jeremy worked from 8:00 AM until 3:30 PM, then came home, then LEFT AGAIN at 5:45 and will not be back until 11 or 12 because tonight is the museum's big fundraiser, and Jeremy is helping raise money blah blah BLAH. That's a long day for him, and a long day for me, because ...

3. The other reason this Saturday was extra-bad is Josephine is taking this teething thing a little too seriously. Remember how in her 15-month update I was crying about her working on three molars at once? Well, her incisors decided to join the party, and now she is trying to push SEVEN teeth through her sweet, delicate gums. So now it looks a little like this:

Seriously, evolution? Why haven't you solved this problem yet? Couldn't we just do like one solid week of total agony and get them all pushed through at once? I think that's a bit more reasonable, if you ask me.

4. During one of my whiny tweets today, I seem to have inadvertently caused a bit of a stir. All I said was this:

My husband's cousin tweeted that she liked the spelling of Josephine's nickname, and I immediately got a few private messages that basically said "... Ummm? ... We thought we knew you. We were wrong." No offense to anyone who has a common name that is spelled in an uncommon way, but that is not what we are up to around here. That is a WHOLE big thing, and I'm not about to get into that controversy here (Danielle vs. Danyell, Cassandra vs. KaSaundra, Kimberly vs. Kymberleigh ... I don't have the energy to talk about that whole thing right now, okay?).

In calling her "Joze," I am not spelling "Josie" in a "unique" way, I am spelling a nickname phonetically - Joze, short for Josie. Rhymes with "doze." Not like Jo-zee. Sorry to get your hopes up if that's what you thought I was going for. ALSO, if we were going to go for a Jay-Z-like spelling for Josie, I'm pretty sure we would go with JoZ, Jo-Z, or Jo.Z, but I haven't consulted Jeremy on this. I'll get back to you.

5. Thank you to all who have commented on my diaper situation. I am still more than happy to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave them on this post, the original, on my facebook page, in an e-mail, or a tweet. Products have been ordered (Rockin Green Cloth Diaper and Laundry Detergent Funk Rock Ammonia Bouncer for a super soak and Charlie's Soap for a new detergent to try), and I am currently in the midst of a "natural" stripping of the diapers. Basically, I am washing eight at a time, on the largest load for the longest wash length, on the hottest temperature -- over and over. I did the first set of eight five times, and they came out smelling a little better already, so I am optimistic.

I am guessing from all the comments and all the reading I did before and after your comments, that either a build-up of detergent, or a build-up of just ammonia, or a slight build-up of detergent acted to collect the ammonia has wedged itself in the cracks of my microfiber liners and the PUL lining. No matter how you slice it, I have a serious case of the funk, and after trying my battle plan, I will be sure to provide all the gory details.

So, look forward to that, am I right?

6. When Jeremy left for this black-tie fundraiser tonight, I told him to take along a thermos and some ziploc bags and come home with the thermos filled with gin and tonic and the bags with hors d'oeuvres. Get this. First of all, he thought I was joking. Not one little bit. Then, THEN, he just shook his head at me like I was ridiculous.

7. This is JUST like when I was in labor, and STARVING (Hello, I hadn't eaten for 24 hours ... how the HELL do you think a person is supposed to have enough energy to push a baby out at that point? Seriously.), and I told Jeremy as he was leaving to get some stuff from home "Don't come back without a bean and cheese burrito." He was shocked. First he wanted to know if I was serious. YES. Then he wanted to know where to get one. OUR FREEZER. Then he wanted to know how to sneak it in. WARM, WRAP IN PAPER TOWEL, PUT IN POCKET, GIMME. Then he said he "thought it might not be the best idea." I told the nurse to lock the door when he left, but they don't even have locks on their doors. Stupid.

This is Jeremy's chance to make up for the burrito/labor error. Will he emerge victorious? I'll let you know. In the meantime, leaving a comment with your guess as to whether or not he smuggled me home some food would be appreciated and enjoyed.

HELP ME, Cloth-diapering Community! You're My Only Hope!

2011-11-18T10:13:00.001-05:00

THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE TO ALL CLOTH-DIAPERING PARENTS: I am thisclose to never using a cloth diaper again, and I need your advice to fix all my problems. If I can't fix them, these diapers are getting packed away and I will contribute to the landfills.

I have MULTIPLE issues at the moment, but I believe they come back to this:

The diapers REEK. They have in the past, and I have tried to remedy the problem with extra washes, stripping the diapers, leaving outside in the sun, and even adding bleach to the hot wash cycle, with some success, but now they are not responding to ANYTHING.

I believe that all my excessive washing (I am running them through the washer a minimum of FOUR times before I'm like "Meh. They don't smell good, but they smell better.") and adding more and more detergent has led to 1) my diapers breaking down prematurely (I had 12 bumGenius 4.0s replaced by cotton babies because the velcro no longer worked, and I have 12 bumGenius 3.0s that were NOT purchased from cotton babies and have no warranty, but are literally FALLING APART. I will not be able to use them much longer at all), and I hate to admit, 2) A god-awful rash on Josephine's bum the other day.

Using more detergent (I use Nellie's All Natural Laundry soda which the cotton babies representative told me was in their top five "best" recommended detergents to use) seemed to be helping with the odor a bit, but I could never get them completely clean and smelling good. This wasn't a problem early on, but has been happening for a few months now. I stripped and bleached once, and they were back to good as new, but then a month later they were so bad that nothing has been helping anymore.

Here is my routine (which is basically the manufacturer's suggested care):

1. I wash the diapers every other day
2. I do a cold spin and rinse or an entire cold wash cycle, without detergent
3. I follow that with a hot wash cycle with 1/4 the recommended amount of detergent, then an extra hot rinse
3. I dry the inserts on medium and hang the shells to dry

And now, because this no longer works, I have been adding wash cycle after wash cycle after wash cycle, and even stripping and bleaching the diapers, to no avail.

FYI, because J's poo is solid, we just dump it in the toilet, so there is no poo residue being added to the washer. Just in case you thought it might be that. The smell is undeniably urine, and I am fed up.

When Josephine got her rash, which I thought could be from detergent build-up, but the doctor thought that was unlikely, I bought 30 disposable diapers. Unlike when she was young, I found I really liked them, and I liked how dry Josie's bum was, where in her cloth diapers she is ALWAYS wet. We went back to cloth for a week, but this morning when I was washing a load for the bazillionth time and I could smell my kid's diaper even though it was dry, I just gave up and went to the store and bought a big box. I told Jeremy we are disposable diaper people until I find a solution, and that means I need your help!

It will still end up having saved money if we only used the diapers this long (the cost of the cloth diapers is much less than if we were buying disposables for the past year), so if we are over cloth diapers, it was still a win, but I want to keep this going. I like the obvious benefits of cloth diapers, but at this point we are using a LOT of water to wash these things, and I spend ALL day EVERY day just to try to get like ten diapers washed -- that's a huge waste of time and energy, no matter what your opinion is on what my time is worth. However, I feel a sense of duty to make these things last until she is potty trained, like I originally intended, since almost every single diaper I own was a gift from my mother or mother-in-law.

Help me, CD experts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I implore you!

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XVII: Death Becomes Her

2011-11-17T21:38:00.000-05:00

Veronica: Jeremy, I am not even kidding, I really feel like I am dying.

Jeremy: Okay, well ... is there something I can do help you?

Veronica: Yes, you can rub my lower back, since that is where all the pain is concentrated.

Jeremy: Rubbing your back is going to stop you from dying?

Veronica: Yes.

Jeremy: See, I find that hard to believe.

Veronica: Jeremy ...

Jeremy: Seriously. Do you think there has EVER been a situation where a paramedic arrived on the scene and said, "This person is DYING! If we just apply some BACKRUBBING, I think we can save her!"?

2011 Holiday Giving Guide, Vol. II (For the Wee Ones)

2011-11-15T13:19:00.001-05:00

Every mom knows that the easiest age to buy for is the age of your own child or .... oh, roughly two months younger. I scoured my memory for toys Josephine adored when she was little and gave you the heads-up on her current favorites. You're welcome. If you have a child under the age of two on your list this year, you are good to go!

These are listed roughly in age order, starting with the wee-est of wee ones. Here we go:

Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes

They have changed the design of this little ipod doo-daddy since we bought ours, and I happen to think ours is cuter, but the way this thing looks really has nothing to do with the magic it contains. This thing obviously plays music (which babies flip for), BUT that screen has little flashing lights that bounce around on the screen -- this will hypnotize ANY baby, guaranteed. I originally bought this as something to have for music on the go, but when I saw her eyes fix on those lights, I started taking this whenever we left the house. Whenever she would get fussy or overwhelmed, BAM! Hypnotized! I promise, this is magical.

Baby Einstein Count and Compose Piano

This is one of the first toys that "did stuff" that Josephine "got." When she figured out she could push buttons and they made noise because of HER ... mind freak. She loved the heck out of this thing. It has multiple modes, so it keeps doing new things all day.

Fisher-Price Brilliant Basics Little Super Star Classical Stacker

We had a few stackers, but this was Josie's favorite. It makes all kinds of sounds and plays all kinds of music, and lights up like magic, and when you take that star off the top, there is a teeny-tiny button you can push to make music. When Josephine was able to push that button herself with the tip of a single tiny finger, she was SO proud of herself.

Playskool Busy Ball Popper

This thing is the absolute bee's knees. It took Josephine all of ten seconds to figure out how to press the button that makes it go, and once that crazy music started and balls started shooting in the air, she was in hog heaven. She got it for her first birthday and has played with it every single day since then. In fact, the batteries died today, and we only had THREE D batteries ... she cried. (Important note: requires FOUR D batteries). Comes in "boy" colors, too.

Bright Builders

We have these from when my mom was a Discovery Toys seller (I can't think of the real word for it now; it'll come to me), and Josephine loves these. She carries one of these around in her hand about 50% of the time. She doesn't know how to build things yet, but she loves them already.

Measure Up Cups

This is another Discovery Toy, and we have the "classic" version that looks a little different, but stacking cups are a MUST. She plays with these every single day, and she has finally moved past the phase where I have to stack them over and over and over while she knocks them down and laughs, and has begun to stack them herself (SQUEE!)

Little People. Back in my day they looked like this:

{source}

Nowadays, they look a little different, but my GOD do they make kids happy. I have taken to taking a zebra, elephant, and polar bear with us whenever we leave the house. Pull one of those suckers out when she starts spazzing in line at a store, and she is happy as a clam.

Some of the favorites around here include:

Little People Animal Sounds Zoo

Which is the old version of:

Fisher-Price Little People Zoo Talkers Animal Sounds Zoo

Fisher-Price Little People Noah's Ark

And I'm guessing she would adore this one:

Fisher Price Little People A to Z Learning Zoo Playset

Josephine is also ape over a farm set my mom scored at a mom-to-mom sale. It's not available anymore (that I know of), but it is very similar to this one:

Fisher-Price Little People Animal Sounds Farm

And, OF COURSE ... BOOKS!

Goodnight Moon

If you know of a child who does not have this book yet, BUY IT FOR THEM. They will love it, I swear. Also, if you kind of want to drive their parents crazy, this meets that need too, because I guarantee they will be reading this book over and over and over and OVER. AND OVER.

I Am a Bunny (A Golden Sturdy Book)

Josephine stares at these pictures as if in a trance. There are only like four words per page, which is great for those phases when they just want to turn pages, but she always stops the page-flipping when we pull out this classic.

Animal Babies Peek a Boo!

This is another book Josephine brings over and hands to us roughly SEVEN HUNDRED times a day. It can drive an adult a little mad, but she loses her mind every time she opens a flap and there is a baby animal behind it. She is now also VERY close to being able to say "Meow" and "Grrr" thanks to this book.

Touch the Art: Catch Picasso's Rooster

The touch-the-art series is fantastic. Pieces of art with "feels" on every page? BRILLIANT! Josephine has felt the heck out of the two that she owns (Catch Picasso's Rooster and Brush Mon Lisa's Hair).

There are a ton of other books in this series, too:

Touch the Art: Make Van Gogh's Bed

Touch the Art: Pop Warhol's Top

Touch the Art: Count Monet's Lilies

Touch the Art: Feed Matisse's Fish

Touch the Art: Brush Mona Lisa's Hair

Touch the Art: Tickle Tut's Toes

Touch the Art: Find King Henry's Treasure

And now I must stop because the post has become long AND looking things up on Amazon has led me to want to buy many many more things. Good luck with the holiday shopping for your littlest of rugrats!

UPDATE: I thought of a few other things, and I couldn't help myself but add more to this list. :)

Okay, any kid over the age of 6 months should probably have some sort of giant stuffed animal. Josephine is lucky enough to have a few, including a giant teddy like this one:

Melissa & Doug 24" Plush Big Henderson Bear

She also loves her Pillow Pet ...

My Pillow Pet Dolphin

... and her Squishable:

Squishable Octopus

That Squishable? It is LOVED. Check it:

Another favorite book is the Old MacDonald book

Old MacDonald Had A Farm by Salina Yoon

Josephine got this book from her Granny and Gramps (Jeremy's parents), and she has become more and more obsessed with it with every passing day. I seriously read/sing this book to her about twenty times a day, and she laughs and dances and just thinks it's the greatest thing. Those animals are tabs at the top of each page, and they are also fuzzy (bonus!). Definitely a favorite book.

Lullaby Gloworm Girl

How could I have forgotten the Gloworm the first time around? She liked it right away when she was little and still loves it to this day. Some toys seem to get outgrown quickly, this is one that still makes her smile, and seeing her hug and cuddle it? MELT.

Same thing with the soothing seahorse.

Ocean Wonders Soothe and Glow Seahorse

She loves hugging the thing!

We also have a few things we are giving Josephine for Christmas that I am REALLY excited about, and I wasn't going to post them, but then I thought to myself ... Josephine doesn't read your blog. Your secret is safe.

Melissa & Doug Wooden Shape Sorting Clock

Josephine saw this in a store a little while ago, and she about LOST HER MIND trying to break into the packaging and play with it, so I thought, sure. But in a few months. I'm so mean.

Pacific Play Tents Find Me Multi Color 6' Tunnel

My mom taught Nursery school (among other things), and had a huge, awesome tunnel at school that we got to take home over summer vacation (!) and it was the best. I can't wait for my little bean to play in this tunnel!

Little Tikes DiscoverSounds Camera

Josephine is OBSESSED with my camera, and I've been looking for one that will seem "real" enough, but every toy camera looks like a toy. HOWEVER, this one has a "viewfinder" and you can see all the way through, and it makes great sounds when you push the button. I think this one is going to do the trick!

Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!
The Pigeon Has Feelings, Too!

Don't Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late!

We also got Josephine some of Mo Willems' books, specifically three of his pigeon books. We have gotten them from the library and love them. We think these will be books she will love even more as she gets older, too.

Disney's Beauty And The Beast Belle Talking Tea Set

I know not EVERY little girl needs a tea set, and the old me would be saying "No! Too feminine!" but ... I love it! And I love Beauty and the Beast! And Josephine loves cups and dishes and pouring and pushing buttons. She's gonna love it.

I know Christmas isn't JUST about material things, and these guides kind of make it seem like that, but come on -- presents are a part of it, and I love to give ones that people will REALLY love and cherish, not just some random thing in the price bracket. Enjoy shopping for your loved ones, and I hope you get to see some excited faces opening presents this year!

Hey, Remember That Time ...

2011-11-14T12:39:00.001-05:00

... that Josephine smacked me in the nose with her baby monitor?

I do.

She has yet to apologize.

(Important clarification - she was playing, not being a "Rosemary's Baby" type of kid. We have no plans for an exorcism. Yet.)

15 Months!

2011-11-11T21:54:00.001-05:00

On Wednesday, Josephine Isabelle turned fifteen months old. FIF. TEEN. MOTHER-LOVIN'. MONTHS.

It's hard to believe. Especially when Jeremy was all, "Oh yeah, she's exactly a year and a quarter." And he said it in a totally blasse voice, like, "No big deal. Our kid is practically old enough to vote. Don't cry about it, woman." So, of course, I was like GAH!! *Crying crying crying. Collapse in a puddle*

Vital Stats:
46.3 cm head circumference (75th percentile)
30 inches long (75th percentile)
25 lbs. 4 oz. (80th percentile!! Up from 75th since last visit!)

We just had our 15-month well visit, and she charmed the pants off of her doctor, which is good since she not only shot up in weight, but she had a scrape on her forehead, a scratch on her cheek, and a sudden, horrific, unexplained diaper rash. However, because she was adorable and doing all her tricks, the doctor didn't even mention that it looked like we were trying to fatten her up like a show pig and abusing her. Good one, Josie!

In other (non-awesome) news, we had some CAH-razy molar action this past month, and let me tell you, those teeth are NOT messing around. Here is what is happening around the baby's mouth parts:

This is all bad news for the following reasons:

1) Three teeth in a month! Noooooo!
2) Those molars are SO MUCH BIGGER than her tiny little incisors, and that is a lot more bone to rip through her precious little gums.
3) That molar she had coming through last month retreated, and in that time the bottom (blue) one came in in like TWO DAYS.
4) Did you read that part about the molar going back under the gums? That means we are starting ALL OVER with that monster-sized tooth. Kill me.

However, in this time that she was in much pain and often crying lots and lots and inconsolable, she was also smiley and funny and adorable more often than not, meaning ... well, my kid is pretty stinkin' awesome. I really enjoyed her this month, and we laughed a LOT.

Fun New Features:
Rides in a forward-facing carseat because her legs got too long to face backwards (SOB!)

Says "Hiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee" ("hi" -- in case that wasn't obvious) all the live-long day. To me. And Jeremy. And the cat and dog. And EVERY SINGLE PERSON we come across in our daily endeavors.

Dances a LOT more, and has added a bunch of new moves to her repertoire, including: tapping her one foot out in front then the other (and repeat and repeat), alternating between headbanging and shaking her head (or as Homer Simpson calls it, telling the music "Yes, yes, yes, this rocks" and "No, no, no, don't stop rocking"), squatting in time to music, and swaying demurely. Those last two moves are often back-to-back, which is pretty hilarious.

Imaginary play! No joke -- she will walk over and motion that she wants you to outstretch your hand (okay, she might never speak because we follow non-verbal commands so well), then will PRETEND to put something in your hand, close your hand up for you so you are holding it, THEN, open your hand, and "pick up" the imaginary item!

Will make letter sounds along with Super Why! on PBS when asked by the characters ("What sound does the letter "T" make?" "Tuh tuh tuh"). She does not, however, do this when I have the camera rolling in order to document it OR when I ask.

Has a whole little "pouting" routine when something doesn't go her way. Wails, screams, throws herself to the floor, often lies facedown until peeking ever so slowly to see if the mean parent is watching. This routine abruptly ends if she sees something she likes/wants.

Is VERY dramatic. I have no idea where she gets it.

Can eat with a spoon! For REAL this time. Like, soup and everything.

Can blow nose (on purpose) into a kleenex

Can SING!

Favorite Activities last month:

Planking
Hanging out on the stairs and doing ... anything. The stairs are a favorite at the moment.

Talking! She talks and talks and TALKS and TALKS and sometimes people actually get a little freaked out. Someone actually said "Does this happen all the time, or did she get her hands on some sugar?" Nope. She just likes to jibber jabber.
Climbing up onto chairs. And the coffee table. And the dining room table. And basically any high surface she should not be on.

Playing peek-a-boo
Laughing

Asserting her independence by doing fun things like squirming in mother or father's arms until he or she gives in and lets her down, then darts away into a dangerous situation
Coloring

Reading
Eating (see stats at beginning of post)

Making her "Oooooooohhhhhhhhh!" face and accompanying noise. Life is FASCINATING.

Basically, she spent the month being awesome, and I spent the month wondering how it was possible that the days flew by so quickly.

I told Jeremy I didn't know how to end this, and he said, "Just say "that's it.'"

So ... that's it.

But OF COURSE

2011-11-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

BIG NEWS: I actually had my hair and make-up done the other day. PLUS, I was wearing "people" clothes (i.e., not a ratty t-shirt with comfy pants). It was a BIG DEAL, and I wanted to try for a quick family picture. I really REALLY want some photographic evidence of our entire family looking happy and healthy and clean, and so far we are severely lacking in that area.

This is mostly due to two overwhelming factors:

1) I mostly look like THIS

2) I am always TAKING the picture (see pumpkin patch pictures for evidence)

So, Jeremy was looking like he always does (clean, handsome, etc.), I was looking as close to smashing as I get these days, and Josephine was wearing the Puffs and Pleats dress! And red sparkly shoes! And white ruffle socks! And a new red flower in her hair I made her the night before! And we were at my in-laws so there was a nice fireplace to use as a backdrop!

And this is the best picture we got ....

(I should mention that the skull is not there year-round. It was Halloween weekend. Unless you like that sort of thing. Then you can pretend my MIL keeps it up year-round.)

I thought this might also be an ideal time to get a picture of Josie in that dress I lovingly made her.

Wrong again.

Between my point-and-shoot camera, lack of photography skills, wild child, and dog, it is next to impossible to get good pictures of this child! But she is so beautiful! Why, universe? WHYYY? (*shaking fist to the heavens*)

But if you look at ALL the pictures, you can kind of piece together what the dress looks like, right? And I can photoshop a picture of my kid all smiling and happy into that other picture, right?

So beautiful. So natural. Now THESE are the things we will want to remember, not the real stuff.

Also, did you know that picnik has a "whiten teeth" option? And a "weight loss" option? Good to know, good to know.

Holiday Giving Guide, Volume I (The Funnies)

2011-11-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

In my opinion, it is NEVER too early to start thinking about Christmas (don't tell anyone, but I bought four ornaments at Hobby Lobby when they appeared on the shelves ... in July), and that means it is never too early to start thinking about the AWESOMELY AWESOME gifts you want to give your loved ones (or, the people you HAVE to give gifts to, even though they are not loved by you, per se ... not that I have anyone on my list like that).

Anyway, I've done this for the past few years (HERE HERE HERE HERE and HERE), and I'm sure lots of that is still available, but look at all of the fun new things I have found this year! Just look at all the lovelies!

For the Geek in your life (i.e., what I would get for my husband if I had the money to buy all the things that would make him laugh):

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag, $99

For the unapologetically-geeky animal lover in your life:

DJ Cat Scratch Turntable, $34.99

For the person you bought Ninja Gingerbread cookie cutters for last year, based on my suggestion:

Munchstache Cookie Cutters, $9.99

(coming soon to perpetualkid.com)

For your co-worker you complain to about other co-workers (again, this is totally not something I can relate to):

Get Along with Your Co-Workers Tea, $9.99

For your friend/family member who likes to scare guests:

Creepy Baby Doll Arms Soap, $4.99

For the Nerd who has everything:

How to Speak Wookie Manual, $16.99

For the new parents (who have a sense of humor):

Safe Baby Handling Tips Book, $9.99

Card Keeper {Tutorial}

2011-11-04T00:03:00.000-04:00

It's crafty-craft time, peeps. This was such an easy and sentimental craft. Josephine has received so many cards in her short life, and they are all so beautiful with thoughtful things written inside. There was no chance I was going to toss them, and I was having a hard time figuring out a way to keep them AND have them available for viewing. I knew a photo album wouldn't work, but I wanted something similar, and this is what I came up with.

This is super-simple, so no pictures with the directions. You all are smart enough to figure it out.

All I did was:

1. Cut the cards in half (so they open easier in the book -- obviously, this is optional if you feel too scared to cut the cards).

2. Punched two holes in each card. I found the tallest and shortest cards and then figured out where to make the holes so they would fit on the small cards but not be too close together on the large cards (for the teeny-tiny cards, I glued on a strip of cardstock to give me a larger surface to punch holes.)

3. Covered two pieces of cardstock (or posterboard, or pieces of a cardboard box you're going to recycle. Whatever.) a tiny bit larger than the largest card and punched holes in that too.

4. Ran some book rings through the holes (also -- I now know these are the exact same thing as shower curtain rings, so if you have extras lying around, use those!).

And, TA-DA!

I made one for the cards I/she got at my/her baby shower ...

And one for all the cards we/she got when she was born ...

Yes, Josephine has already gotten a hold of this one and mangled the corner a little. That'll happen. It has since been moved to a higher shelf.

I'm making one for her first birthday cards (I'm slacking a little on that one. It's not like it was months ago or anything.). I have also been collecting all the fun little cards she has gotten this past year and a half, like Valentine's Day cards and Halloween cards, so once I have a good chunk, I will make another.

I also have plans to do the same for the cards from our bridal shower and wedding (one of these days).

Simple and lovely, right?

Also, there are a million choices of how to make your cover. Originally, I thought I would add a picture in a plastic sleeve on the inside cover, and maybe even some writing on the outside, but I haven't gotten that far yet. I might never do it, but that's fine. You could cover them in lace or doilies, or add scrapbook embellishments. Go crazy!

So Many Costumes, Only One Child

2011-11-02T13:56:00.001-04:00

So this is what I do: as soon as a holiday is over, I think of/find a million great ideas that I wish I had seen a few precious days before I did. Pinterest is making that MUCH MORE DIFFICULT. QUIT GIVING ME ACCESS TO IDEAS, PINTEREST.

Just kidding. You know I can't quit you.

Anyhoo, I loved loved LOVED Josephine's costume because:
1) I made it
2) It was adorable (see reason 1)
3) I was the same thing at her age, and I'm nothing if not vain (see reasons 1 and 2)
4) JEREMY was the one who decided she should be a cave girl/Pebbles

So, all in all, blue ribbons and gold stars on that costume.

But, BUT, a 5-minute Pinterest session revealed some other winners from this year (I quit after five minutes because I started getting overloaded). Luckily, I will probably be that mom who never lets her kids choose and forces them to wear whatever she wants so she can vicariously live out her dreams.

"Luckily" is the right word to use there, right? Yes. Right.

So, I pinned some winners onto my new Halloween Costumes board (because, why did I NOT have one of these before?), and even though I might need to pop out a few more babies to make these Halloween dreams come true, I'm totally committed to that.

Here are my top picks:

1. Cabbage Patch Kid

{tried forever to find the original source, but only got back as far as this pin}

Oh my god oh my god oh my god -- if you have a kid whose cheeks are always getting pinched? Some yarn and a Cabbage Patch t-shirt, and you have an awww-worthy costume.

3. Corduroy

Totally adorable; totally DIY-able. Love it!

3. Wayne and Garth

{source}

i.e., another reason for me to wish for twins. Or just kids really close in age, I guess. No, twins. Sorry, Jeremy.

4. A Rockford Peach

{source}

Although I'm sure Jeremy and I would spend the entire night asking each other "Can you read, honey?" and shouting "THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!" I think this costume would SOOO be worth it.

5. Tiny Lucy

{source}

I actually have a feeling we might be able to do this in a few years with Josephine and use her natural hair. :) Now we just have to practice that look.

6. Where the Wild Things Are Cast

{source}

Even though this would require cooperation on Jeremy's part, and those wild thing heads look a little past my DIY skills, I still have high hopes for this one. Also, I'm pretty sure my little sister just had a stroke when she looked at this, so she might be willing to help.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: How could you NOT love Halloween?

You'll Never Guess ...

2011-11-01T09:21:00.000-04:00

... Halloween pictures of my babe! Yup. No one else has these. No one on facebook, no other blogs. Twitter is devoid of pictures of kids in costumes. You're lucky you have me.

But come on: I know I'm biased, but ...

AMAZING. THE CUTENESS IS BLINDING ME!

I made my sweetheart a little dress, an anklet, and got her a bone for her hair, and my dad offered to make her a club out of foam.

We had varying degrees of cooperation in the posing department while visiting the grandparents.

We also did some carving, of course.

And then things got REALLY complicated when we met up with BamBam. Pose together? I think NOT.

She sure did a lot of growing since last year.

All in all? Best Halloween (so far). :)

UPDATE: Thanks to my mom's lightning-fast scanning skills, I have this side-by-side comparison to offer you. :)

Lasagna Soup

2011-10-29T05:55:00.000-04:00

You might have noticed that Making an Effort Monday has not been the most regular thing lately. I either had nothing to say or too much to say, and it started driving me a little crazy. It began as a way to motivate me to try new recipes, make more projects, and organize my house, and it did that, so it served its purpose, and that's great, but I am over it for now. It might pop back up in the future if I need a fire under my butt, but I am on a g-d ROLL over here, and I am just going to post about food or crafts whenever I please. Maybe on a Monday, maybe on a Thursday; hell, maybe even on a SATURDAY.

Also, ALSO (stay with me; there's a lot of changes to get used to, I know, I know, but I'm confident you can handle it), I added a lovely little tabby up at the top, right next to the tab with my crafty time excitement (Did you even know that was there? Now you do.).

It is chock full of RECIPES. Yum. So if you're ever thinking to yourself, what was the recipe for the macaroni and cheese with bacon in it? You can click the tab and be like, Oh yeah, Cheesy Bacon Mac! (Jeremy re-named it). Then you click on the picture that looks like this:

And BOOM, you are at the page with the recipe. Magical.

So, to keep this thing moving in a food-oriented direction (possibly one of my favorite directions ever), I have a new recipe for you. Paula Deen called it "Tastes Like Lasagna Soup." I think that's a mouthful, and I made some changes (I know, I know ... sacrilege ... some changes were on purpose, but some were just due to missing ingredients, so don't freak out, OKAY?), so I call it ...

(much more creative, no?)

Ingredients:
1 lb. ground turkey
1/4 large yellow onion (or 1/2 regular yellow onion), chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon thyme
1 Tablespoon firmly packed brown sugar
42 ounces of chicken broth (or close -- less wouldn't be a huge deal, and more wouldn't be that horrible either. Paula called for 32 ounces, but I had a 42 ounce can, so that's how that happened)
2 (15 ounce) cans diced tomatoes (oregano and rosemary blend is awesome; normal is fine; petite is fine -- however you are feeling about the tomatoes is FINE)
15 ounces (-ish) of marinara sauce
1/2 teaspoon each of dried basil, oregano, cilantro, and parsley (or 2 teaspoons of Italian seasoning, if you prefer)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups broken lasagna noodles
5 ounces of grated Parmesan cheese
shredded mozzarella cheese for garnish

Directions:
1. In a large pot or Dutch oven, combine ground turkey, onion, and garlic with a splash of olive oil. Cook over medium-high heat until turkey is brown and crumbles easily and onions are transparent (or close). Drain if necessary (it wasn't for me, but it depends on how lean your meat is).

2. Stir in thyme, brown sugar, broth, diced tomatoes, basil, oregano, cilantro, parsley and salt. Bring to boil over medium-high heat, then reduce heat and simmer 20 minutes.

3. Add noodles, and simmer until the noodles are tender. I always buy whatever "Plus" pasta is on sale. I am a HUGE fan of Barilla Plus with the whole grains and omega-3 and all that awesomeness. This time I got Ronzoni Healthy Harvest, which is whole grain and lots of fiber. The point of all that was actually just to say that it took me a lot longer to cook those noodles than it does "regular" noodles, so the cook time will vary based on what type of noodle you prefer.

4. Final, CRUCIAL step: stir in all that Parmesan cheese. I know this seems like a lot of cheese, and, I mean, it IS a lot of cheese, but it MAKES the soup. I promise.

5. Top with Mozzarella and serve (or, if you are trying to impress someone, toss them in the oven on broil for a few minutes).

Yum, yum, and YUM.

Here is what Jeremy thought:

Please don't send me e-mails about the wall color. Even if you own a paint company and want to send me free samples. We RENT. Sorry. I hate it, too.

And here is what Josephine thought:

Paula thought it should be served with a garlic crostini (a tiny piece of french bread with garlic smeared on it and fried in a pan). I didn't have french bread and was afraid the soup might not be filling enough for Jeremy (I was wrong), so I made my super-easy/can't-miss GARLIC CHEDDAR BISCUITS OF AWESOMENESS.

I found a recipe for similar biscuits on the side of the Bisquick box and adjusted them to my taste. The recipe on the box is good, too, but I like mine. ;)

Ingredients:
2 cups Bisquick
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2/3 cup milk
A little less than 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
(For this batch, since I was going for an Italian mood, I tossed in a dash of basil and oregano. Totally optional.)
butter or margarine

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Combine all ingredients except margarine in bowl. Mix until dough forms.

2. Make 9-12 balls of dough and place them evenly on an ungreased pan (somehow I ALWAYS make 11, but you might like them bigger or smaller. It matters not.)

3. Smear a tiny bit of butter on the top of each biscuit. I use a lot of butter in this recipe, but I DO NOT CARE, because it's not even butter. I guess you might not even be able to classify it as margarine? We use Promise light because it is the only "butter-flavored spread" our store carries that does not contain partially hydrogenated oils. Dr. Oz would be so proud.

4. Bake for 8-10 minutes (I do exactly 8). Smear a little more butter on top of each one (See, this is why I don't use real butter.), and serve hot. Yummers.

Another night, another stomach full to bursting. :)