Josie Says, Vol. 5 (Preschool & Hygiene Edition)

Josie: "Mom, look! I'm washing the BACKS of my hands, too! My friend Alexis taught me that."

Me: "I taught you that. Years ago. Plus we discussed it last week. In depth."

Josie: "No, Alexis taught me this."

Me: "No, I did."

Josie: "Mom, you've never mentioned this before. Not once. Alexis taught me this to stay healthy."

Me: "I guess it's a good thing I sent you to preschool so your new friends could teach you about proper hygiene."

Josie: "Yeah. Alexis is great."

Josie Says, Vol. 4 (Josie-isms)

Josephine is growing up awfully quickly lately. Luckily, she's still little enough to have some delightful Josie-isms that make us smile. These are a few of my favorite that I want to remember forever: 

        Grad-u-mations [decorations]

        Sell-a-kin [skeleton]

        Yes-ta-day [yesterday]

        Kur-kur-ins [curtains]

        Mersh-a-null [commercial]

        Otta-bim [ottoman]

        Chicken and dunk-lins [chicken and dumplings]

        Scoose Meece [Excuse me]

        Puh-sided [decided]

        Uh-fore [before]

        Mystery mark [question mark]

        Oh, fishel-sticks [Oh, fiddlesticks]

        Chicken doodle soup [chicken noodle soup]

I know it sounds silly, but I'll be really sad when she pronounces all of these correctly. Until then, I'll be making lots of chicken doodle soup.

Josie Says, Vol. 3

Genevieve: (coughing)

Me: Oh, you poor little coffee cake*. Why are you coughing?

Josie: I think she ate a cold.

*Jeremy calls the girls "coffee cake" whenever they cough. It must have rubbed off on me.

****************************

Josie: (Looking in the mirror and dancing) I am myself! I am myself! I am myyyyyysellllllllllf!

****************************

Jeremy, making a sandwich to take to work, came around the corner to tell me something, still holding the bottle of mustard.

Josie: (bolting toward him, panic in her voice) Don't take the mustard to work with ya!!!!!

Jeremy: Don't worry, I won't. I know how much you love mustard.

Josie: Whew! (wiping forehead)

****************************

Aunt Kayla: Wow, your hair is getting really long, Josie.

Josie: Yeah, Jeremy said it's almost to my butt.

****************************

Me: Please quit putting your hair in your bowl of macaroni and cheese.

Josie: Why did you say that to me?

Me: Because I want you to stop putting your hair in your food.

Josie: OHHHHHHHHH. THAT'S why you said that!

Josie Says, Vol. 2

Talking to the photographer at our family portrait session, who has just asked her to walk toward him:

Josie: I'm gonna say "La-dee-la-dee-da! I'm walking down the sidewalk" while I walk!

Sean: That is awesome! What a great thing to say! Can I use that and tell my other clients to say that when they're walking?


Josie: Ummmm ... NO.

********************************

Josie: Daddy, I sneezed into my arm!

Jeremy: Good job, Josie!

Josie: Cleo sneezed, too!

Jeremy: Oh, she did?

Josie: Yep, and she sneezed into her paw!

********************************

Jeremy: Okay kiddo, time for your overnight diaper.

Josie: Noooo!

Jeremy: Why?

Josie: Because my butt's scared!

Jeremy: Of the diaper?

Josie: Well, yeah!

Josie Says

Josie: I heard a really loud noise, and I got scared, so I ran to the neighbors' house* and I hid in their rowboat** to be safe.

*Nope. Didn't happen.
**They don't even HAVE a rowboat.


Josie: Who made this quilt?
Jeremy: Granny.
Josie: Oh. Who made this doll?
Jeremy: Well, that doll came from a store, so no one we know made it. Someone made it in a factory.
Josie: It came from a store?
Jeremy: Yep.
Josie: A store like Meijer?
Jeremy: Sure. Probably Meijer or Target.
Josie: *thinks quietly for a minute* But, did Uncle Luke make it?
Jeremy: No, Uncle Luke didn't make this baby.
Josie: I think Uncle Luke made it. 
Jeremy: Okay.


Josie: I don't have any dog bones in my butt.
Veronica: ...
Josie: But your doctor office does*.
Veronica: My doctor's office ... has ... dog bones ... in its butt?
Josie: YES, MOMMMMM.

*We were driving past the doctor's office (that I went to ONCE, six months ago), but the dog bone thing? No idea.