We Don't Have To Call Her Baby X Anymore!

I had another baby and ... holy cow, I had another baby!

I have many, many things to record in this little space of mine, but I am currently exhausted, on pain meds, and holding my little pipsqueak (and typing with one hand), so I will save the stories about being sent away from the hospital, the comedy of errors that ensued after I finally got admitted, finally getting to meet my baby, and introducing my big baby to my little baby.

In the meantime, I am pleased to introduce my little love, Genevieve Grace, born on 8/9/12 (yes, Josephine's birthday ... I have a lot of thoughts on that as well) at 10:49. She weighed 7 lbs., 15 oz., and was 20 inches long.

In case you hadn't already guessed, we are over the moon in love. More to come soon!

NEWSFLASH: Every Pregnancy is Different!

Did you know? Because everyone and their mother told me this little ditty with a chuckle, and yet, it seems I didn't really believe them. 

Yes, things were different over the course of the past nine months than they were when Josephine was cooking, but for some reason, apparently I still thought that the labor and delivery would be the same. I'm just that clever.

I don't even recall being aware of this, but on a subconscious level, I guess I was assuming that things would go the way they did last time.

Last time, I started having contractions, and they were totally reasonable, pain-wise, and about seven minutes apart. Within the hour, they were still not bad and five minutes apart. Less than an hour after that, they were three minutes apart and still not all that painful. So, I skipped off to the hospital (seriously, I was chipper) and told the lady at the front desk I was ready to have my baby.

While waiting for the big moment, I almost enjoyed contractions. I know, totally sick, but with each contraction, I was thinking, BABY BABY BABY! THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE BRINGING ME A BABY!

I smiled a lot during labor. I waited until the last minute for the epidural, even after a few hours of pitocin contractions. I was giddy and happy and raring to go.

This time. This time, I have been having contractions for ... it's too long to remember. I don't want to go back and check. More than a month now. And yes, I have experienced both Braxton Hicks contractions and real contractions, and these are the real deal. 

Here's what makes them terrible: I start having contractions; they ramp up; they get very intense, are more than a minute long, and get to the point where they are three minutes apart; I tell myself, Okay, two more contractions and then I will call and ask if I should go to the hospital. Then -- they stop. All gone. Completely. This happens, if not every day, every other day. There have been days when it happens a few times. It is INFURIATING.

I guess it's better than me getting Josephine out of bed (this usually happens at night, OF COURSE, because I didn't already have enough trouble sleeping), packing our stuff, starting the drive from Lansing to Port Huron and then having the contractions stop. Then I would be REALLY pissed. To say the least.

This time, I also random contractions that are more painful than the worst pitocin contraction I remember, then ... nothing. To be honest, I think the contractions hurt worse and make me more angry precisely because I know there is no way to know if it is go-time or sit-at-home-for-another-three-weeks-while-this-baby-punches-my-cervix time. 

It's killing me. What little was left of my spirit after all the bed rest and pain and packing and temporary moves to be near the hospital now that August has arrived (we are staying with my parents for the time being) has been squelched by the Contractions That Mean Nothing. 

At my last doctor's appointment, I was more dilated than last time, but SO WHAT? The doctor said it looks like I could be walking around with contractions slowly dilating me for weeks instead of going in with steady contractions and waiting for those to dilate me. Oh, JOY. And, of course, that raises the fear that once I/we decide my contractions are strong/consistent enough to the hospital, I might have twenty minutes before the baby arrives. That's not enough time for Jeremy to get to the hospital from work, and it's not even enough time for me to get to the hospital, since my parents are much closer, but still a half an hour away. BLARG.

Then there's one last thing making all this unbearable: THE GUILT. 

I feel terrible that last time around I was joyous and couldn't pull the smile off my face, and this time I am this pissy, miserable, big sad sack of crying and moaning and uncomfortable largeness. Poor Baby X. I should be dancing around sewing things for my new little bundle with a grin from ear-to-ear! What kind of mother am I?!??!?!!

Seriously, this is what I was doing when my contractions were five minutes apart last time:

Sewing crib sheets with my mother!

So, there you have it. My scientific treatise (Is that a thing? Am I using words correctly? Probably NOT, since my brain is as good as a lump of chewed bubble gum right now.) on how every pregnancy is different, which, I'm sure you did NOT previously know. If you've gotten this far, bless your heart. If you quit reading by the time I mentioned my cervix getting punched, I totally understand. I still consider us friends.

Thanks for letting me whine, dear Internet. 

And Then There Was the Time Josephine Was a Flower Girl and I Didn't Take Any Good Pictures

Since I'm still progressing baby-wise, but not ALL that geeked to have her this early, I have been doing a lot of uncomfortable sitting and having to ask people for help, neither of which are my favorite. The last post I did was basically all pictures (lazy), so I thought maybe I could continue the theme! Yay! Another photo-heavy post!

You're welcome, America.

So, remember how my camera was MIA for a full month after Josephine was a flower girl and thousands of people (three people) were asking to see pictures of how fabulous she looked in her dress my mom and I made? WELL, I got my camera back, but I must have forgotten that I gave it to a chimpanzee all day, because the pictures are simply awful.

Seriously, these are the best I got:

I did my best to edit, but totally blown out. Also, she is not interested in being in the picture (big surprise)

 Ring bearer goes in for the hug, she pushes him away. Nice.

Seriously mom, all I want are the toys in that nursery. Nothing else can compare.

Corrupting the ring bearer to lose focus on upcoming aisle-walking duties and focus solely on the room full of toys.  

Ring bearer shows Jeremy his toy, Josie tries to steal it. I wish I could say this is out of character.

YES, YES, YES, I made it down the aisle and ran straight back to the nursery and was finally allowed INSIDE! OH HAPPY DAY!

Here, the poofy underpinnings have already been removed and the sash is askew, so it doesn't even matter that this is the best shot of her dress.

Don't you generally wear a ballgown when going down slides? 

Someone also posted this on facebook. GAH! My LEGS! My swollen ankles! I had real shoes to put on, I swear, but by the time my ankles swelled to the size of my knees, I gave up that dream.

Here's another I stole from facebook. Josephine is at the tail-end of her walk down the aisle, where Jeremy grabbed her and escorted her out a side door to me. I couldn't get any of her walking down the aisle because I had to point her in the right direction, make sure she got halfway down the aisle, and then run over to the other side of the church to be ready to grab her and whisk her away (again, no one wants to hear a talking toddler throughout a wedding ceremony. I'm not so dumb to think she would stay silent through the entire thing.)

And my sister-in-law posted this beauty from the photographer:

If this isn't one of my biggest parenting fails to date, I don't know what is. 

Maybe I feel so bad because I was TOTALLY jealous of every single flower girl at every single wedding I attended as a kid and wished *I* were that flower girl. Now my daughter is living the dream and I didn't even manage to take a nice picture of her so she could look back and think "Dang! I was the cutest flower girl ever!"

But ... maybe the pictures more accurately reflect the day then "good" photos would have. I was frazzled and was already too pregnant to bend down to her level to even attempt a good photo and she was running around like a monkey. That's what happened and that's the photos we got.

Sorry, monkey girl! I still think you were a beautiful flower girl! :)

A Fun Little Interaction

Saturday night, Jeremy and I went to dinner with my parents. There, I had a fun little moment with the hostess.


Hostess: Hello, would you like a booth or a table? Ooohhhh ... you need a table right? (*pointing at my stomach*) You won't fit in a booth, right?


Veronica: Right. I'll be needing a table, thank you.


Hostess: How many babies you have in there? Two?


Veronica: Ha ha ha, nope, just one.


Hostess: No, in here (*touching my stomach*). How many babies? Two?


Veronica: No.


Hostess: Three?!?!


Veronica: ONE BABY. IN HERE.


Hostess: Two big boys in there, you'll see.


Veronica: ONE GIRL.


Hostess: Oh no, two big boys. You'll see.


Veronica: So, about that table?


Later, she heard me call my mom "Mom" and said "No way! She's not old enough to be YOUR mom!"


Well shit. Thanks, lady. You made my evening, to be sure.

The Crazy Lady Writes in Bullet Points and Uses Caps Excessively. Enjoy.

Nothing like a little prelabor to turn you into a crazy, scatter-brained bitch. Ha! Ha ha ha! (that's the laugh of a crazy person, in case you didn't recognize it in print.) Without all the specific gory details: dilated, baby low as she can be, can barely walk, want to punch everything I see, etc., etc., etc. BUT, I fixed my computer and I can type and load pictures from my camera and all is right with the world. Instead of a real post, however, my current state has reduced me to bullet points. So here you go:

• Went to the doctor on Wednesday for an ultrasound. Apparently it's standard for them to do one at 35 weeks to double check on growth and see if the baby is head-down and whatnot. At my old doctor, they basically told me I was lucky to get an ultrasound at 20 weeks at all and I would never get another one unless there was evidence of a huge problem. They were of the opinion that there is no evidence that it is actually okay to be sending those rays in at the growing baby, so why do it more than absolutely necessary? Crazy how different doctors are.

• ANYWAY, the ultrasound revealed that while I was 35 weeks and 2 days at the time, the baby was measuring at 37 weeks and 4 days. Ha. HA HA HA! (crazy laugh, redux) Hilarious, right? I most certainly do not have gestational diabetes, and I am actually very healthy, so they think she is growing normally, just ... a lot. And quickly. Just a big ol' baby. Their best guess was she was already around seven pounds or more. Great. Bring it, Baby X. I expected nothing less of you, really.

• We got an okay look at our darling's little face, but she had her hand in front of her face for most of the ultrasound. When the tech started the 3D ultrasound and tried to get pictures of her face, she started waving her arms around all crazy-like and scrunching up her face. So ... she is officially uncooperative. Again, I'm not shocked in the least.

• After an exam, the news that the baby is already so big was actually kind of good news, as I am already dilated and effaced and the baby is "engaged." The nurse said "Oh, you're right! She is REALLY low!" THANKS, LADY. I KNOW. I KNOW. So, in the world of baby business, this could mean nothing -- I could walk around like this for weeks -- or it could mean things are happening. I'm not a fan of the idea of having a baby at less than 37 weeks, but if she is already seven pounds, at least that makes me feel a little more secure in her growth and development. You gotta take what you can get.

• I'm taking my superstitions to the extreme. I've decided the baby won't come until I allow myself to nest. No nesting, no early baby. BOOM. So, I have been trying my best to ignore all urges or outsource the work (My mom cleaned out my pantry today. Heh.). Oh, and also, my mom is staying with me and asked if I wanted help with a sewing project I never managed to get started for Baby X. I told her hell to the no, because last time she came to stay with me and help me with a sewing project, I went into labor. I'm not messing around here. NO BABY.

• Josephine's second birthday party is tomorrow. Which, of course, is another reason there is no way I am going into labor tonight. Can you imagine me telling Josephine in a few years, "Oh yeah, we had to cancel your second birthday party because I was having your little sister!" I'm sure that would do wonders for sibling rivalry.

• I decided we needed to nail down this baby name once and for all, since, you know, baby could be coming any damn time she pleases. We were both like 95% on the name I think, but we never really talked about it, and we don't call the baby that name (mostly because my brain is so addled that I would probably start referring to the baby by the name IN FRONT OF people, and that is the exact opposite thing we are going for. So we talked about it on the way home from the ultrasound, and Jeremy told me what he imagined he would call the baby for short ... and I had a complete breakdown. I told him I hated that nickname and everything was ruined and we couldn't name the baby that and NOW THERE IS NO NAME AND WHY DON'T WE JUST GIVE UP AND NAME HER X. It was a nice drive home.

• When we got home, we both got baby name books back out, made new lists, cross-referenced, discussed, yada yada yada, and decided we didn't like any name more than the one we picked out. I went to bed feeling great.

• This afternoon Jeremy sent me an e-mail that started out "I know we thought we decided on the baby's name, but I can't get _______ out of my head ..." (i.e., a TOTALLY DIFFERENT NAME). OKAY, AWESOME, LET'S DO THIS AGAIN!

• I could probably add in about 78 more bullets, but instead I will call it quits and leave you with this gem from Jeremy. Consider it your Funny Stuff My Husband Says fix. 

          Talking names:
          Me: UGH! I HATE that nickname! I would rather die a fiery death than have someone call  
          my child that name!
          Jeremy: I've said it before, and I'll say it again ...
          Me: WHAT?
          Jeremy: You hate everything.
          Me: I'm writing that down so I can tell everyone on the blog you said that.
          Jeremy: Be my guest. If they're regular readers, they'll know it's true.

THE END. Until I do a birthday party recap. I'm sure you're all on pins and needles, so I'll throw that together ASAP.

I'm Going to Complain. How Unlike Me.

I'm sitting in my bedroom, listening to Josephine talking and kicking the wall between our bedrooms. I am SOOO close to losing my mind that it's not even funny. 

I had (stupidly) come to count on the fact that Josephine had a schedule she liked and thrived on. She would get up between 8 and 9, eat lunch from 12:15 to 12:45, say good-bye to MoJo and Cleo, and then happily go upstairs and go down for a nap. Sometimes these naps lasted LONGER THAN THREE HOURS. Usually it was closer to two, but STILL. We had a little routine, then I put her down in her crib and she snuggled up and was silent until it was time to get up. It was amazing. In the past few months, it was the only thing that got me through the day. 

Since being on "bed rest" and not really being able to "rest" all day like I should, I would do my best all morning, then collapse for her entire nap to build my strength and get me through the last few hours until Jeremy got home from work, which include the most trying hour of the day -- standing in the kitchen and trying to cook dinner while Josephine wails at my feet and begs to be picked up. 

Side note: I think Josephine is actually KNOCKING on the wall between our rooms right now. Yesterday I had to take the camera from its prime location jammed between the crib and her wall, supported by a chair rail, because she wouldn't leave the damn thing alone, and kept smacking it around, laughing and shouting "CAMERA!" Now it is on the floor, pointed up at her crib, which means I can see next to nothing, but she can't turn it off or mock me through it. She must have gotten bored and is trying to signal her displeasure to me.

When she does this -- this flailing and talking and calling for daddy (because she knows mama isn't coming), it literally gets me so stressed I feel like my head is going to explode. 

Just go into another room or turn off the camera, you say? Well, I had been doing that until she fell asleep, then I would go to bed and turn the monitor on so I could hear when she woke up. Then, THEN, the other day ... she ALMOST GOT OUT OF HER CRIB. I put her down, got in the shower, and then when I got out, I peeked at the monitor just in time to see her hoisting herself up -- she had her entire body on the highest rail of her crib. I dashed in and screamed "NO!!!!!" She flung her body onto the mattress and pretended to be asleep. I told her she could never ever do that again and asked her if she understood. She said "yeah," and I proceeded to go outside her door and collapse into a hyperventilating pile of mush. 

This GD house is so old that none of the doors actually CLOSE. Now, all night long I have nightmares about her getting out of bed and rounding up the most dangerous items in the house and quietly doing dangerous things with them while I sleep, blissfully unaware. She hasn't tried to climb out again, but I know it's only a matter of time.

Thankfully, I have had help for the past week. Last Friday, my mom and sister came and helped me set up for a yard sale, then my mom sat with me all day Saturday while we sold some of our crap, and she stayed until Monday when we had to drive home to close on the house. THEN, my little sister came back on Tuesday and has been here ever since. 

I still do stupid things like tell them "no" when they ask if I want them to do something, like make Josephine lunch or make dinner for the whole group, because I ... I just can't. They do enough. I can't ask them to do EVERYTHING. I feel stupid enough sitting on the couch while they get up and scoop crayon bits out of Josie's mouth, or when I collapse from the effort of going up and down the stairs to go to the bathroom (PRO TIP: If you are supposed to be on bed rest, HAVE A BATHROOM ON YOUR FIRST FLOOR. Oh, wait, this tip applies to EVERYONE EVER. Not that I'm bitter about living in a house with ONE bathroom on the SECOND floor. No. Not me.). I can't help feeling like they think I am lazy and exaggerating and milking it, because, honestly, it's hard to believe. Just heaving yourself off the couch is causing you enough pain to cry out like you've been shot? REALLY? 

Unfortunately ... yeah. Just the baby sitting WAY too low and the round ligament pain combined make for a very special type of hell. It's horrible. And every single time I do something and it hurts, I panic -- I'm HURTING THE BABY! This is it! I ruined everything! We have a preemie because I got up to get more ice for my water! I'm the worst mother EVER!!! This line of thinking ... it doesn't help.

I think what I set out to say here is that I am so lucky that my mom and sister have been here during this time because Josephine's schedule has gone all to hell and it is causing me stress. I have lost my stress-free nap time, and by the time she gets up, I am more frazzled than when she went down. Plus, I am at the magical time in my pregnancy where I cannot sleep comfortably at night and once I DO fall asleep I wake up about every half hour ALL night having to either go to the bathroom or flip over and try to find a comfortable position (which is impossible). If I didn't have them to help out and send me upstairs to rest occasionally, I would have been done by now. Just done. 

But her nap schedule. GUH!!! Get this: She will flail and talk and sing and sometimes freak out in there, sometimes for TWO HOURS, then all of a sudden she will just fall asleep, and take a normal-length nap, sometimes LONGER, then go to bed at her normal time, like it's no big deal! WTH, kid? 

I know what people will say: 

Maybe she wants a later nap. I can see that, except that she is EXHAUSTED when she is finished with her lunch, and she still says "nap" and says goodnight to everyone, all adorable-like, but then she starts running laps around her crib when I put her down. Plus, there is not one consistent time that she finally falls asleep. If I put her down and she was staying awake until a specific time and THEN falling asleep, I would definitely consider making that the new nap time, but she has a different time every day that she finally gives up and falls asleep (which definitely makes the stress worse for me -- will it take 20 minutes? 3 hours?)

Maybe she is outgrowing naps. First of all, SHUT UP. This child will NOT shirk her naps just when I am about to bring a newborn home, so you can FORGET IT. Also, she clearly still needs a nap if she can sleep for three hours during the day and still fall asleep at 9 and sleep for 12 hours at night, you know?

All I know is, I am sticking to my plan of "this is your nap time, stay in your dark and cozy room for the entire time, I don't care if you don't like it" because ... I don't know what else to do. Maybe it is totally the wrong move, but what else should I do? Give in and go get her up after 15 minutes of squawking and miss out on the eventual nap because I couldn't handle the noise? 

I don't know what the point of this whole post was, except that I simply HAD to get it off my chest. I had to complain. I know, totally unoriginal topic to complain about, and also likely infuriating to mothers who have kids who boycott sleep altogether (trust me, I had one for an entire year before she gave in and became a sleeper), but I simply had to vent. I also fear that I am the cause of the changes in Josephine (obviously, because mothers are so good at wrecking their kids), but I fear that is a post for another day, as I believe I have just written a few thousand words about my kid not taking her naps properly and giving me rage. 

Until next time,

Veronica M.D., Crazy Lady, Nap-Lover, Writer Who Lacks Focus

Small Victories (and Other Unrelated Things)

Some great updates regarding Baby X and her imminent arrival.

1. Josephine has mastered newborn care:

I got that baby out to have her get used to having a newborn around, and she holds it and kisses it and gives it knuckles and is generally adorable. Why I never bothered to put some clothes on the thing? Your guess is as good as mine. Even my cat is hanging his head in shame in the background. I figure if I post this picture and feel the shame, maybe I will open up the newborn clothes bin and give the kid some dignity. I'll let you know how that works out.

2. We have a place to camp out for the beginning of August that is only FORTY minutes from the hospital. Big improvement! We are going to stay at my parents' house since they will be out of state and needed a housesitter anyway. However, I DID have to promise my mom I wouldn't have the baby that week while she was far far away. So ... I guess it doesn't help being close to the hospital if you are contractually obligated to NOT use it. But hey, they also have central air and a pool, so, SCORE. If Baby X still hasn't arrived by then and we aren't in the house yet, we will figure it out then.

I still wish my news was we are getting into the house like, tomorrow, but this takes a load off my mind. I'll keep you abreast of all other important developments.

Also, this is unrelated to Baby X, but you'll thank me later. Here's this:

(my dad loves Star Trek and made us watch a lot of it growing up) :)

Happy Almost Friday!

And Then She Showed You Something You Could Have Gone Your Whole Life Without Seeing

It's funny. Every time I think to myself, Bravo, Veronica, you aren't NEARLY as moody and erratic and emotional as you could be, being a pregnant woman and all! I realize I am totally wrong. Now, Jeremy is going to read that sentence and think, Oh, she's about to apologize for yelling about (fill in the blank) and then sobbing immediately afterward. 

Ha. Nope. I don't even remember doing that, silly.

Today I went to the grocery store (ALONE!) (And only had to get eight bags of groceries instead of 28 bajillion!) and as I was heading back to my car to unload, the car next to me had a mom and two daughters (a teen and a tween, who looked close in age) loading their groceries into the car. The sisters were yelling at each other, flinging accusations of spilling the blueberries back and forth, and shouting about where the fruit should go, all while the mom ignored them with a zoned out look on her face, like It's not worth it; at least they're helping. And what did I do when I happened upon this scene? 

I teared up. Yes, I started to cry while looking at the screaming and bitching. I thought, OH, SISTERS! Sisters who are probably exactly two years apart, just like my Josie Belle and little Baby X! One day my girls will be teenagers and be GROWN UP SISTERS. I even had the overwhelming urge to say to the mom as she wheeled her own cart over to the corral as I did, "Hi! I'm pregnant with my second little girl, and isn't it great to have TWO GIRLS?! Aren't you glad you gave your daughter a SISTER to love?!?!" 

Seriously. I almost said it out loud. Like that time a few months ago in Meijer when I heard a dad call his daughter by her name (a name Jeremy likes but I don't, because of the troublesome issue of no pretty nicknames), and I actually said, "Oh, my husband loves that name but I always worry about the nicknames. Do people call her ____?" Perhaps this man was a licensed psychiatrist or was otherwise used to dealing with crazy people, because we had a lovely conversation about his daughter's name in the dairy aisle. What a sport.

You see, I think I am doing alright because I'm not sitting around sobbing all day, which is what I did for the majority of my first trimesters with both pregnancies, but it turns out I am just as ridiculous these days.

Oh, and speaking of emotions, when Jeremy read what I wrote about him saying I looked "pretty freaking pregnant," he said I made him sound like an ass. Did you guys get that impression? Because, for the record, I was totally not offended by that comment. I thought it was funny, and actually kind of sweet. What with my slow belly progress compared to the last time, it has kind of crept up on us, and lately we are like, Third trimester? Really? How? Can that really be right? 31 weeks? That seems close to 40 weeks! And to be fair, when he came upon me in the kitchen, I had just pulled up my shirt to adjust my pants, so he got a full-on view of the majesty that is my big ol' belly in maternity jeans. It is a sight to behold, for sure.

Okay, I guess you deserve to see it too:

Pretty GD glamorous, right? (I'm not gonna lie. That's Josephine in there. But, you know, no camera and it's all the same this time -- big belly and stretchy pants.)

Right. So, recap: I am a basketcase, Jeremy is NOT an ass, and my elastic pants make you all wish I were writing a fashion blog.

Signing off,

(Very) Pregnant Veronica M.D. (aka, VPVMD) (Yeah, I think I'll start using that one.)

Updates Galore

I finally had the doctor's appointment I have been nerved up about for the past two weeks since my doctor told me to do the whole bed rest thing to prevent pre-term labor. Remember how exciting and not at all freaky that day was? Yeah, me too.


Thankfully, this week was much better. First of all, I didn't have to wait TWO HOURS (hallelujah!). Then, the doctor checked me all out, and there was good news. The baby's heartbeat was 156 (excellent!), my blood pressure was 110/70 (bravo!), and I was measuring one week ahead (expected!). Thankfully, the problems I was having two weeks ago are looking exactly the same; that, coupled with the fact that I have been able to keep my contractions in check over the past two weeks, leads us to believe that my child is just being snotty and NOT, in fact, making a break for it. So, BIG RELIEF, OBVIOUSLY. The doctor said I should have no worries unless the contractions come back regularly, so that works for me. I still have to take it very easy (boo!), but I will definitely do the best I can.


Last week we did have one contraction drama, where it reached the "call-the-doctor" point of minute-long contractions every five minutes for an hour, but I told Jeremy, "NO. I can do this. Give me five minutes." I did more deep breathing, got Jeremy to rub my lower back, and FOCUSED, and damn if I haven't had a contraction since then. BOOM. Contractions roasted.


In other baby news, Jeremy broke the bad news to me this morning that I was looking "pretty freaking pregnant." Since I have been doing that whole "looking in the mirror" thing, I was already aware of it, but you might not be, since I never take pictures anymore.


Here is me, looking "pretty freaking pregnant":

In other-other baby news, Josephine was a flower girl in a family wedding this weekend (SQUEE! and also GAH!), and she was adorable yet exhausting, but ... I am officially that person. I DON'T HAVE A SINGLE PICTURE OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE.


I took my camera, took a million pictures of Josephine before she walked down the aisle, then took a few pictures of the bride and groom, realized the reason my pictures were coming out so crappy was the battery was dying, then I SET MY CAMERA DOWN AT THE CHURCH AND LEFT IT THERE. 


FAILURE.


"Hey Josephine, remember that time you were the flowergirl in Uncle Luke's wedding?"
"No, MOM, because I wasn't even two and you didn't take any pictures."


Well, at least she made it all the way down the aisle. Hopefully there will be pictures I can steal from other people and then I will do a whole big recap, because I KNOW you are dying for that, am I right? I knew it.


And there you have it. Consider yourself updated.

I'm OPEN, Is What I'm Really Saying

Okay, so apparently I left you with a terrible cliffhanger yesterday (according to some! ;)), and I'm actually not going to give you any details, because that would involve the use of many words and references to my body parts that some might find unappealing. Plus, I'm trying not to think of those details much. To sum it all up, I am on modified bed rest (under the threat of "real" bed rest or a hospital stay) to avoid preterm labor. It is not ideal, but it could be much, much worse, so I am trying to keep things in perspective. If you want more deets because you are family, going through something similar, or are just nosy, feel free to shoot me an e-mail and we can chat about it.


So, "bed rest." I have not enjoyed it, mainly because Josephine has not enjoyed it. She dealt with it rather well yesterday, but this morning after breakfast, she sat on the stair she always sits on when we put on her shoes. She kept asking for her shoes over and over, in an increasingly confused voice, until I told her we couldn't go anywhere today. In response, she put her hands over her face and sobbed. 


It was at this moment of having my heart scraped out of my chest and stomped to bits that I thought, "I could really go for a Sister Wife right now." 


Seriously. I am 100% on board. Give me a Sister Wife, and while I sit on the couch and feel guilty, she could entertain my kid, do the laundry, and start dinner. Also, we are out of Josie's almond milk, so she could grab that for me, right? Thanks, Sis Wife.


Except, maybe this woman could, like, not actually be married to my husband? And, you know, not be in love with him or have sex with him or anything. TOTALLY still open to the Sister Wife idea, but I would just change those tiny things.


Maybe you're saying right now, "What you want is a nanny, Veronica." No. A nanny is an employee. I want a live-in bestie who will care for my child like her own but NOT require any payment or compensation of any kind and has no family or concerns of her own to deal with. Also, hands off my husband.


So, consider this a classifieds ad, will you? Live in friendship, help, child-rearing, housekeeping, and errand-running needed. 


If you know anybody, just pass this along, will ya?

Hey, I'm Still Pregnant

It's been a lot (a LOT) of weeks since I updated on the ol' pregnancy, and if I'm not blogging it, I'm not writing it down anywhere else either. Oops. I feel like I owe it to myself and Baby X to write down a little something here and there for us to look back on and see how this pregnancy went, but I have been pretty lackadaisical about that. Sorry, Baby X.


Want me to really sum this pregnancy up in a nutshell? After not taking a belly shot for over 5 weeks, I then had to go through the trash in my e-mail to find the last update I got from babycenter -- that's how I knew how many weeks I am pregnant. That's got to be some sort of record for parental pregnancy negligence, right?


Well, babycenter told me I am 27 weeks pregnant, and here's how that looks:

I had to go with a cell phone picture too. This child is ABUSED. I am still a little blown away at how much bigger I was with Josephine. My doctors keep telling me to calm the heck down, but last time I was already bigger than this by the time I was 20 weeks. No joke. Here's the evidence:

And, not to get all TMI on you (but I totally am, so skip this sentence if you don't want to find out), but my breasts are few cup sizes smaller than they were when I was pregnant with Josie, so that throws off all the comparisons on belly size. What? I use my boobs as a comparison point, like, "my belly is finally past my boobs!" Don't pretend you don't do that with belly shots.


However, by all accounts, this baby is growing like a champ and is exactly on track according to her last ultrasound. I'm not as worried about it as I used to be, but it's still weird, right? Everyone told me to expect to get bigger faster with the second one, so it was really hard to not assume the worst when I didn't.


I also thought for a short period that this baby might be more mellow than her sister was in utero, because her little kicks stayed little kicks for much longer than Josie's did. Josie went from the "is there a butterfly under my skin?" phase to the "this kid is kicking so hard I am bent over in pain" phase in about TWO DAYS. That was definitely one of the reasons that my first pregnancy felt so damn long -- because it felt like she was trying to kill me from the inside out, all day, every day, for at least 20 weeks. 


Baby X lasted a little longer with the "I'm a tiny and adorable baby" kicks, and she has gotten stronger, that's for sure, but thankfully she's not trying to kill me yet. What makes her just as big of a stinker as her sister is that I am 99% sure she is playing mind games with me. With Josie, when she started kicking, she never stopped for ONE SECOND until she was born. I kept reading those "what to do if your baby hasn't moved for more than an hour" tips, and I was like That HAPPENS? This Baby X, however, will stay still JUST long enough to freak me out, make me chug cold water, poke and prod, beg her to move, and then she will have a dance party for a few hours, like "What? I was in here the whole time. I just didn't feel like letting you know." SCAMP. 


Other than that, she's a pretty good little tenant. As far as symptoms, I feel pretty lucky this time around. There is definitely something very wrong with my lower back, like, I wouldn't be surprised if my tailbone were shattered and little pieces were floating around in there, scraping against each other. I have had a few of those "I threw my back out!" moments like on TV where the person can't move and screams for help. Adorable. Also, as soon as the heat kicked in over here (I live in a magical place where is can and DOES go from 40 degrees to 80 degrees in one day), I started having to watch my ankles. If it's really hot and I'm on my feet for a while, I swell pretty quickly. I've always had very poor circulation, so that doesn't help anything. But my blood pressure is great, so it's not that. Oh, and the four-a-day gushing nosebleeds are charming, but there are about a million worse things that could be happening at this point, so really, it's back pain, swollen ankles, and nosebleeds. I can handle that.


We had one or two scary moments when she was just a little pea-sized nugget, but we did with Josie too, so it's nice that things are relatively simple these days. It's not like it's so amazing that I forget I'm pregnant or anything, but I think I'm as close as I can get to that, so I am pretty pleased. The third trimester is just around the corner, so I might change my tune soon. We shall see.


Maybe the biggest news, however? There is a possibility that Jeremy and I have a name. We're definitely keeping it a secret again this time, but I told him a name I couldn't get out of my head and a few days later, he said he couldn't get it out of his head either. That is definitely encouraging.


All in all, Baby X = a pretty awesome lady.

Stuff for Baby X

Alright, yesterday I promised I would get started on my list of things I need for Baby X, and it's not complete, but here's what I have so far on the "gotta get it" list:

1.  I really want the Fisher-Price Deluxe Rock n' Play Lightweight Plush Sleeper for next to our bed because it is light, small, and I have heard it works wonders on fussy babies. It also seems perfect for traveling, which we do a lot of to see grandparents.

2.  A Diaper Sprayer. Seriously, I have no idea how I made it through the scary little-baby poop without this thing. NEED it.

3.  I think I want the Itzbeen. I had it on my registry the first time around, but I'm pretty sure I'll be even more exhausted and brain-dead this time, so I'm thinking this might be a good idea. Anyone have one and love it or hate it?

4.  Real white-noise machines  instead of a huge box fan to magically make my baby sleep. Does anyone have recommendations for me?

5.  Blackout drapes. Please, please, please, Jeremy? I am SO sick of big dark blankets taped to the wall (now you know my secret shame). To be fair to Jeremy, I didn't really want to buy any before either, since I have always had in my head that this home is "temporary," so why buy drapes to fit these windows? Sigh.

I don't have a picture or a link, because no matter where I search -- amazon, babies r us, etc. -- they all have a crazy range of reviews. Half of the reviews say a certain brand is the greatest thing ever, and the other half say they block zero light and are worthless. Seriously, all the reviews for ALL the blackout curtains are like this. What's a gal to do? Any suggestions?  

6. More hooded towels. I swear, we have these, but we are always out at bathtime!

7.  Some REAL swaddle blankets. This baby is not going to kick her way out and refuse to be swaddled past the ripe old age of three days old. No ma'am.

And then there's projects. OH, the PROJECTS I want to complete! I can't wait for that nesting energy to kick in, because I am BEAT lately, and have so many things I could be doing! Baby X even has her own board on Pinterest so I can collect ideas. Here are just a few of the things I would love to get accomplished before Baby X arrives:

1.  A door muff, to keep it nice and quiet when you go in and out of a sleeping baby's room. I would like to make one for both my girls' rooms, especially because we have terrible, old, noisy doors.

2.  A 2-in-1 diaper bag that goes from messenger bag to stroller bag. I love this blogger, and she has great instructions!

3.  A car seat canopy -- so much smarter than just throwing a blanket on top and hoping it doesn't fly off!

4.  I'm obsessed with these baby gowns from old t-shirts!

5.  And I really wish I had this travel chair when Josie was little. Heck, I could still use one for her now, to keep the crazy kid strapped down when there is no highchair to be found!

6.  I know this might sound ridiculous, but I'm having a hard time with the idea of possibly taking the glider out of Josie's room and moving it into Baby X's room, because, well ... she's still kind of my baby, too, and at this point we still use it for her. SO, I am thinking about keeping a lookout for a super-cheap used glider and recovering the cushions! One of my blogger friends already did it, and if I can get a chair for cheap enough, it would totally be worth it!



7.  I will probably try to make a swaddle blanket or two of my own and see how those work out before buying any, but you never really know.



8.  I'm also going to make a nursing cover (but I don't plan on hanging it from a tree ...). There were only about a handful of times that I REALLY wished I had one with Josephine, but I think this time, with my "helpful" older child around all the time, keeping the baby out of sight while she's eating might be for the best!

9.  And, of course, I'll have to make a special blanket for this baby like the one I made for Josephine!

Then, of course, are all the things I WISH I could make, but would have to learn how to crochet. Why do I keep pinning projects if I can't crochet?!?!!
(Starting top left) pink booties, turkey hat, mary jane booties, very hungry caterpillar, and Converse booties

Well, that's it. Not much, right? :) 

Seriously, though, PLEASE add to the list. If there is something you couldn't live without, leave a comment. Or, if you haven't done it yet but wonder if something is useful or useless, leave a comment. Let's get a good baby product conversation going, and maybe I will do another post with everyone's top picks and questions!