Perspective (Also, a Poll. A Very Important Poll.)

Last night I was at a meeting and they handed around a bundle of pens and told us each to take one. The outside of the pen was white with blue accents, so I smiled and said thank you, but discreetly doodled on my paper just to check, and ... YES! Black ink! The way god intended. 

Suddenly, for no other reason than the fact that I was relishing having a new BLACK-INK pen, I had a revelation about my marriage and life in general (stay with me here).

I have this thing about pens. I write with black pens, and black pens only. If there are only blue pens at my disposal (shudder), I will use anything else (crayon, lipstick, eyeliner) before using that distasteful blue ink. No, I don't really know why (other than the fact that printers and newspapers print typeface in black ink, so why shouldn't I also produce black lettering), but I will defend my choice until the day I die. BLACK INK OR NOTHING.

Jeremy, on the other hand, is a blue ink man. Now, he lacks the flair for the dramatic that I so luckily possess, so unlike myself, he does not report feelings of nausea when seeing the wrong color ink before him. He simply says "Nope. Get this abomination away from me," and finds himself a blue pen. 

Until last night, I always thought this was something that made us incompatible. Seeing as I am the person who does roughly 99% of the buying of household goods, the fact that I can't buy a pack of black pens and know that it will be universally appreciated irks me. I am further irked by the fact that there are blue pens (BLUE PENS!) roaming around my house, and at any moment, I could pick one up and WRITE AN APPOINTMENT ON THE KITCHEN CALENDAR IN BLUE PEN, destroying the beautiful field of black ink, much like I did yesterday, when someone I had been waiting to hear from called to make an appointment, and I was juggling two small monkeys and food on the stove and a dog underfoot, and grabbed a pen and NO! WRONG! EVERYTHING'S RUINED! 

I even thought I should come here one day and ask you "Who's right? What is the correct pen color? Also, take my side." 

But then, last night, as I was looking fondly at my new Great Start Collaborative pen, I realized it was safe. It was all mine. Because Jeremy would never steal it. Because I only like black pens and Jeremy only likes blue pens and WHOA, HEY, I also don't like sharing, and the fact that Jeremy and I each have this strange hang-up about pens actually makes us MORE compatible because we will never have to share a favorite pen or accuse the other of stealing one. 

Perspective. I have it. 

Get this: It goes further.

Perhaps my two favorite foods in the world are pickles and olives (save me the thoughts on whatever deficiency I likely have because of my penchant for vinegar-based foods). I was truly shocked and saddened that Jeremy hates them with the fire of a thousand suns.

But, guess who is never going to look in the fridge and see her husband has eaten the last pickle or olive? ME.

Jeremy's dislike of nearly every vegetable, anything green, and most things healthy makes cooking for my family one of the most onerous jobs on the planet. I often weep while meal planning. 

But, every time we go to a function where there is a plated meal (of which we have been to many, due to weddings and the fact that my father's job has us knee-deep in banquets), I happily eat all the vegetables off my plate while he eats all the red meat off of his (not my favorite, by a long shot), then we happily switch plates and repeat. DOUBLE OF MY FAVORITES. 

So, really, our mismatched likes and dislikes is a great thing sometimes, and I finally figured it out. It only took me five and a half year of marriage. Look who's swift on the uptake.

Now if only he liked the show FRIENDS, our marriage would basically be perfect.

P.S. Okay, I still want to do the poll. I think people fall into three groups regarding pen color, and I would love to get some statistics on the matter. Your response is crucial! It could save all of humanity! (probably)

Apparently I can't add a poll to a post, so if you look over to the right, directly under the lovely picture of me, you will see a poll. Vote! Vote early! Vote often (once)! I am hugely fascinated. Humor me. 

He is the Actual Best

Jeremy and I have this arrangement. If I have A DAY with the girls, I am more than welcome to just abandon ship as soon as he gets home. I can leave the house screaming for the car, go upstairs and hide, whatever I want. Luckily, I have only had to use this option a handful of times, mostly when G was brand new and Josie was two and adjusting to not being an only child. 

I honestly have no idea how today got the way it did, but by 3 PM I was thinking I was going to need to hire a young priest and an old priest, and then by 4 PM, thought I was going to need two of each -- one set for Josie, and one for me. 

So I called Jeremy, telling him I was a mile past my breaking point and it was a BAD day for him to be swamped and leaving the office late, and of course he told me he would handle dinner and bed and just to leave when he got home.

I went and sat by the water for a while and listened to the waves, and then I came home and hid in the bedroom with wine, chocolate-covered pretzels, and Netflix. I am much better already.

A storm hit not long after I got home, and it was bad enough to knock out the power for a while. Of course I did a slow-motion "NOOOOOOOO! NOT MY NETFLIX!" scream, but thankfully it came back on after a while. When it came back, my janky baby monitor that was making horrible noises so I unplugged it and took out the batteries and it still made weird noises all day (I HAVE NO IDEA) came to life and picked up on Jeremy playing with the girls. I left it on and heard giggling and books being read and general happiness. It was ... just lovely.

There are a million reasons why he is an amazing dad, but it's days like this when it hits me like a ton of bricks. 

A few weeks ago, after dinner Jeremy could tell I was spent and asked if I wanted to sit on the couch and let him handle baths and bed. I said "you betcha" and the girls were geeked to have daddy all to themselves. I put my feet up, put on some trashy TV, and a few minutes later, while the girls were splashing in the tub, Josie asked Jeremy to sing "Love is an Open Door" from Frozen and he did, and I sat on that couch feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

I told my mom about it, and she said, "Well, I didn't see any facebook status about it! You should let people know how amazing that man is!" She's right. I need to tell the Internet how great he is.

Thanks, Jeremy. You're the best.

Poor Jeremy

THE SCENE: Jeremy comes out of Josephine's bedroom, where he apparently had a hard time getting her to go down for bed. I am standing at the sink, washing dishes.

Jeremy: I don't mean to ... accuse you ... or anything, but did you cry a lot as a child?

Me: Why, was Josie crying a lot tonight?

Jeremy: My god, every little thing that happened set her off into hysterical crying!

Me: I told you she skipped her nap today. She's overtired. 

Jeremy: I mean, I never cried. I think I cried four times from birth until the time I was eighteen. You can call my mom. She'll back me up on that.

Me: Well, (turning around to face Jeremy) we just have a lot of feelin--

Jeremy: (cuts me off) -- Wait. Are you crying ... right NOW?

Me: Yes. (*hiccup*)

Jeremy: Why? What happened?

Me: Well, I was rocking Genevieve to sleep, and she pulled my face down to hers and just held my head so we were cheek-to-cheek. (*sob*) Then she pulled away, and THEN moved back in and gave me an ESKIMO KISS! And then SMILED! With her little half-closed sleepy eyes! And then she sighed happily! 

Jeremy: .....

Me: And then I thought, How do people DO this? How do they one day stop holding their babies cheek-to-cheek? How am I going to handle it when they're 30 and we just talk and sit around and they don't snuggle up to me and make me rock them to sleep? And what if Josephine and Genevieve never know how much I love them?!?!!? And why don't I snuggle with my mom every time I see her and give her eskimo kisses with half-closed sleepy eyes?!!?

Jeremy: This explains so much.

So It Begins

You know what you don't think of when you view a potential house on a very temperate day? That the upstairs attic-turned-master bedroom will be brutally hot in the summer (even with central air) and freezing cold in the winter (even if the heat is cranked so high you're sweltering on the first level).

This means you'll have to deal with your perpetually-hot husband who thinks the heat should never be on anyway even more than usual.

It's only October and it's already begun:

P.S. Jeremy said I could only post this if I "made it explicitly clear" he was joking. Soooo ... I think I've done my best with this little P.S. in which I tell you he told me to tell you he was joking. Nailed it .

And That's How We're Different

I should go through my drafts folder more often. This baby comes to you from October of last year, and it's a doozy, my friends. Please, do enjoy.

Me: Jeremy, I think I might cut off the collar of this shirt and use it under Josephine's Minnie costume instead of going out and buying a new long sleeve black t-shirt. What do you think?

Jeremy: Why are you going to cut up a perfectly good shirt?

Me: Ummm ... what? Here, look at it again.

Jeremy: ....

Me: It's ruined.

Jeremy: How?

Me: Look at it.

Jeremy: Uh huh.

Me: Look CLOSER.

Jeremy: Okay ...

Me: You seriously, SERIOUSLY don't see that huge bleach mark? SERIOUSLY?

Jeremy: Oh, yeah. So it's ruined, huh?

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XXIV: Reputation Edition

This one is from back in the day before there was also a Genevieve, but it's not Jeremy's fault that if I actually *remember* to write down the hilarious things he says, I leave them in my drafts folder for a year and a half from time to time.

***********************

Jeremy and I often do this thing where we will meet up after getting ready in the morning and notice we are wearing the same color. Jeremy always just turns around without a word to go change, because he's "not that person." One day, he, Josephine, and I were driving to a family gathering when I looked around and then said:

Veronica: I hate to tell you this, but all three of us are wearing blue and white stripes.

Jeremy: You know, you spend thirty years trying to be cool, and then BAM, it's ruined in one day.

**********************

Jeremy said something utterly sweet about Josephine, and then turned to me and said:

Jeremy: DON'T put that on the Internet! I have a reputation to maintain!

Veronica: You got it.

Jeremy: And don't put THAT on the Internet either. 

Veronica: Sure thing.

Gullible Texter

Ever since I started my new job and have to retire to a separate room to work for a few hours every night after the girls go to bed, Jeremy and I have become the type of people who text each other from across our (very VERY small) house. Last night this happened.

 

Nerd love. What can I say?

********************************

On an unrelated note, if you love drive-ins and want to help save a few from closing, check out my post on Sean Purcell Photography from this week and read about Project Drive-In. 

I just love drive-ins. Don't you? One of my first dates with Jeremy was at a drive-in, and I thought it was so awesome and romantic and Grease-esque. Plus, you can take your babies and let them fall asleep in their carseats in the back and pretend you're alone at the movies. Sigh.

Plus, He's Really Really Good-Looking

This past week has been very trying. The other night Jeremy and I were snuggling in bed for five minutes after we got the girls to bed and the house clean while I got up my gumption to get on the computer and get a few billable hours in for work and Jeremy was getting up his gumption to go work on the car, and I sighed and said, "I don't think I was a very good mom today."

Without missing a beat, Jeremy just said, "I don't believe that for a second."

And that's why he's the best.

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XXIII: The Truth Will Out

Jeremy: I'd like to have a serious conversation with you. One in which you are completely open and honest and tell me the absolute truth about something.

Veronica: Ummm ... okay. Is everything alright?

Jeremy: Yeah, everything's fine. But I need to ask you a question, and I need you to promise you will be honest. Totally honest.

Veronica: Yes, yes, of course. What is it?

Jeremy: Okay. When you are taking a bite of broccoli, like when you're bringing it up to your mouth, are you actually thinking "Oh yeah, this is going to taste great. I really enjoy eating this broccoli"?

Veronica: What?

Jeremy: Like, do you really like it? When you take a bite, are you thinking, "Yup, delicious, just like I thought it would be"?

Veronica: You know I thought you were going to talk to me about something really serious, right? And that you had me all worried, right?

Jeremy: I just really need to know. Among friends here, and all. Do you really REALLY like broccoli? You're not just putting me on and pretending you like it because you want me to eat more foods that are good for me?

Veronica: Yes, I really like broccoli. I do.

Jeremy: I just can't buy it. When you're eating it, are you thinking "Oh yeah, this is way better than pizza."

Veronica: Well, I don't know if I'd say that, but I really really TRULY enjoy the taste of broccoli. It's one of my favorite vegetables.

Jeremy: AH-HA! It's one of your favorite VEGETABLES! But vegetables all taste like garbage, so it's just the best-tasting garbage! That doesn't make it GOOD, just because it's the best of the worst!

Veronica: *Leaves the room*

To see all volumes of Funny Stuff My Husband Says, click HERE

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XXII: Saturday Morning Edition

I overheard the following conversation take place in the kitchen between Josephine and Jeremy while I was in the living room with Genevieve:

Josephine: Cereal!

Jeremy: Really? You want cereal, too? You have a HUGE breakfast in front of you.

Josephine: Cereal!

Jeremy: Do you just want it because I'm eating some?

Josephine: Cereal!

Jeremy: Okay, cereal. 

Jeremy gets Josephine a bowl of cereal with milk

Jeremy: Wow, good job! That was a perfect bite! 

Time passes

Jeremy: Okay, well, how about some more bites?

Josephine: ....

Jeremy: Josephine. Are you going to eat any more?

Josephine: ....

Jeremy: Josephine, you cannot eat cereal casually. Eating cereal is a serious thing. It's getting all soggy! 

Josephine: ....

Jeremy: Oh, I give up.  

To see all volumes of Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Click HERE

I had just had a slurpee. There's a lot of sugar in those.

In case you didn't know, the first game of the World Series was last night, and Jeremy's beloved Detroit Tigers were ... not as "on" as they have been up until now. Things were getting tense up in here, to say the least. 

Thankfully, my sister lightened the mood by popping up on gchat. Please, enjoy.

Victoria

heyyyyy

10:05 PM

Victoria

just wondering if everyone is alive over there

10:06 PM

me

Yeah. Jeremy just said he wanted to murder someone. I told him not the baby in his arms, not Josephine, and not me. He looked at the dog, and I said no, then he looked out to the kitchen to indicate MoJo, and I also said no. I think we're safe.

I told Jeremy you asked if everyone is alive and he said "It's nothing to joke about!!!"

Victoria

I tried to call you even though Dan said I shouldn't and then he talked me out of calling Jeremy because we couldn't decide if you guys were up

me

Oh, sorry, I guess I didn't realize my phone was sitting right next to me, dead.

Yeah, he's in no mood to talk.

He blames himself because he wore a different jersey tonight than he has been wearing. He already took it off, but he thinks it's too late anyway.

10:10 PM

Victoria

you have directed quite a scene in my head about what is going on over there

me

YOU'RE WELCOME

Annndddd SCENE. Go Tigers!!

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XXI

I'm trying to write Genevieve's birth story, but every time I have a moment to write, G gets jealous, I have to pick her up, and then I try to type with one hand for a while -- not ideal -- then give up, only having added two or three sentences.

SO, in the meantime, I thought I might float you a little Jeremy hilariousness to tide you over. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Veronica: I swear, I wash this baby's hair and a half an hour later it looks all greasy!

Jeremy: Well, she is EYE-talian, after all.

Veronica: *punches Jeremy in throat*

To see all the Volumes of Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Click HERE.

We Don't Have To Call Her Baby X Anymore!

I had another baby and ... holy cow, I had another baby!

I have many, many things to record in this little space of mine, but I am currently exhausted, on pain meds, and holding my little pipsqueak (and typing with one hand), so I will save the stories about being sent away from the hospital, the comedy of errors that ensued after I finally got admitted, finally getting to meet my baby, and introducing my big baby to my little baby.

In the meantime, I am pleased to introduce my little love, Genevieve Grace, born on 8/9/12 (yes, Josephine's birthday ... I have a lot of thoughts on that as well) at 10:49. She weighed 7 lbs., 15 oz., and was 20 inches long.

In case you hadn't already guessed, we are over the moon in love. More to come soon!

What We've Learned Here Is Most People Want to Know If They Have Boogers Hanging Out of Their Noses

Remember when I asked you to pass judgment on our marriage? Well, today is they day I share results and reveal the identities of Spouse A and Spouse B!


Thanks to everyone for playing along, because that was really fun. But man, it also turned out differently than I expected. I expected a lot of "Spouse A all the way!" and "Spouse B 4-eva!" comments in the spirit of debate, and obviously I wrote this post to be funny, but then my very first comment went ahead and gave ACTUAL advice. Man. 


In case you didn't read the comments (and if you didn't, do it, because there were some awesome and hilarious ones!) or didn't vote (shame on you!), like five minutes after I published the post, Leeapeea said:

I think I actually blushed, because DUH, and also, that had obviously never really occurred to me.


Here's the rub: I discussed it with Jeremy, and he is AGAINST IT. AGAINST IT!! Can you believe it?


I guess now would be the time to reveal the mysterious identities of Spouse A and Spouse B. I know this might come to a shock to some of you who know me in real life, but ... I was Spouse A. It's true! 


I must, MUST know if I have something going on with my appearance that could easily be fixed to avoid embarrassment, and I would MUCH rather have that come from my husband than anyone else, because I know he is not judging me. Others? They judge. OH, they judge. 


I also think that, in general, people would rather know these things than to go on about their day only to find toilet paper in their shoe at the end of it and curse me for letting them go on their merry way to do any number of important things. If I like you, I tell you about the spinach in your teeth. It's a sign of love. Therefore, the thought of NOT telling Jeremy, just because that is his preference, is very disturbing to me. That would place him in the "people I don't like" category in my brain, and that is just not computing. I'm also willing to admit that every time I would "helpfully" point things out to Jeremy, I was hoping he would think, Wow, Veronica saved me from embarrassment in public. She's right! I should do this for her, just like she begs me to all the time! Obviously, that was not the case, and I should be willing to give in and do what makes him happy in this instance. I'm willing to give it a go.


Jeremy, on the other hand (Spouse B), said he straight-up will NEVER make a comment on my appearance, because he thinks it is not his place to decide what is "not good" about the way I look. Now, I agree that I would prefer he not say things like "Man, are you going to do your hair before we leave the house? Because you look like a refugee." or "You know that shirt makes you look frumpy, right?" but I DO want him to tell me when I have stray hairs or boogers or food in my teeth. I want him to with ALL OF MY HEART, and he says he refuses. REFUSES!


In any case, it was nice to hear that so many people said they were Spouse A types and wanted to know themselves and would tell others to help them out. It made me feel like I wasn't totally ridiculous or anything. And I was definitely (not-so-secretly) hoping that there would be more votes for me because YOU WOULD TOO. Spouse A was the clear winner in the comments, as long as it is said kindly and in private, and that is how I roll, so I felt a little better.


However, that advice about respecting each others' wishes? I don't know how that's going to work. Jeremy is sounding pretty stubborn.


I, on the other hand, refrained from telling Jeremy about a booger hanging out of his nose that I noticed moments before we were going to get out of the car and head in to a family party. ONE POINT FOR ME. 


Then, after said family party, I got in the car, looked in the visor mirror, and noticed my eyeliner was smeared all over my face, in full-on Joker fashion. NEGATIVE ONE POINT FOR JEREMY.


Which means, if marriage were a competition, I would be WINNING. WINNING, I TELL YOU!


Not that marriage is a competition.


(But if it were, I'd be WINNING!)


(WINNING!!!)

A Peek Into Our Marriage AND An Opportunity to Pass Judgment! Double Win for You!

Jeremy and I have an argument over something very silly. We are diametrically opposed on this topic, and each of us believes our viewpoint is flawlessly pure and "correct." I would like YOUR opinion, dear readers, to see if this is really a split issue or if one of us is clearly in the wrong (hint: not me). 


In the interest of getting the most impartial and scientific results, I will obscure the identity of the individuals in question. I will most certainly be referring to me and Jeremy, but I will cloak us in the mysterious noms de plume "Spouse A" and "Spouse B." See if you can keep up.


Okay, so the issue in question is little gross things (boogers, long hairs where people hope to not see hairs on your body when they look at you, horrifically smeared make-up, things in your teeth, etc. etc.) -- should you point them out to your spouse?


SPOUSE A believes he/she is being helpful by pointing out "Hey, booger" before we walk into a public place or making sure Spouse B knows about long hairs coming out of his/her nose. SPOUSE A believes that Spouse B would be embarrassed to later learn that others had seen him/her in this condition, and therefore SPOUSE A believes he/she is doing a large favor for Spouse B. SPOUSE A would appreciate being told these things and is enraged when he/she discovers gross things in the mirror hours after having been seen by the general public. Much arguing ensues.


SPOUSE B believes pointing out these little things amounts to pointing out imperfections in Spouse A, and would therefore be construed as SPOUSE B calling Spouse A less than perfect or undesirable, and that is something he/she would never do, and believes Spouse A should behave in the same fashion. SPOUSE B takes significant offense to having these things pointed out and does not believe Spouse A does it in the best interest of Spouse B. SPOUSE B becomes embarrassed and angry in these moments, and believes Spouse A is belittling him/her. Much arguing ensues. 


So, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, cast your votes. Who is right? Spouse A or Spouse B?? Settle this war once and for all! You have the power!

And Then She Showed You Something You Could Have Gone Your Whole Life Without Seeing

It's funny. Every time I think to myself, Bravo, Veronica, you aren't NEARLY as moody and erratic and emotional as you could be, being a pregnant woman and all! I realize I am totally wrong. Now, Jeremy is going to read that sentence and think, Oh, she's about to apologize for yelling about (fill in the blank) and then sobbing immediately afterward. 

Ha. Nope. I don't even remember doing that, silly.

Today I went to the grocery store (ALONE!) (And only had to get eight bags of groceries instead of 28 bajillion!) and as I was heading back to my car to unload, the car next to me had a mom and two daughters (a teen and a tween, who looked close in age) loading their groceries into the car. The sisters were yelling at each other, flinging accusations of spilling the blueberries back and forth, and shouting about where the fruit should go, all while the mom ignored them with a zoned out look on her face, like It's not worth it; at least they're helping. And what did I do when I happened upon this scene? 

I teared up. Yes, I started to cry while looking at the screaming and bitching. I thought, OH, SISTERS! Sisters who are probably exactly two years apart, just like my Josie Belle and little Baby X! One day my girls will be teenagers and be GROWN UP SISTERS. I even had the overwhelming urge to say to the mom as she wheeled her own cart over to the corral as I did, "Hi! I'm pregnant with my second little girl, and isn't it great to have TWO GIRLS?! Aren't you glad you gave your daughter a SISTER to love?!?!" 

Seriously. I almost said it out loud. Like that time a few months ago in Meijer when I heard a dad call his daughter by her name (a name Jeremy likes but I don't, because of the troublesome issue of no pretty nicknames), and I actually said, "Oh, my husband loves that name but I always worry about the nicknames. Do people call her ____?" Perhaps this man was a licensed psychiatrist or was otherwise used to dealing with crazy people, because we had a lovely conversation about his daughter's name in the dairy aisle. What a sport.

You see, I think I am doing alright because I'm not sitting around sobbing all day, which is what I did for the majority of my first trimesters with both pregnancies, but it turns out I am just as ridiculous these days.

Oh, and speaking of emotions, when Jeremy read what I wrote about him saying I looked "pretty freaking pregnant," he said I made him sound like an ass. Did you guys get that impression? Because, for the record, I was totally not offended by that comment. I thought it was funny, and actually kind of sweet. What with my slow belly progress compared to the last time, it has kind of crept up on us, and lately we are like, Third trimester? Really? How? Can that really be right? 31 weeks? That seems close to 40 weeks! And to be fair, when he came upon me in the kitchen, I had just pulled up my shirt to adjust my pants, so he got a full-on view of the majesty that is my big ol' belly in maternity jeans. It is a sight to behold, for sure.

Okay, I guess you deserve to see it too:

Pretty GD glamorous, right? (I'm not gonna lie. That's Josephine in there. But, you know, no camera and it's all the same this time -- big belly and stretchy pants.)

Right. So, recap: I am a basketcase, Jeremy is NOT an ass, and my elastic pants make you all wish I were writing a fashion blog.

Signing off,

(Very) Pregnant Veronica M.D. (aka, VPVMD) (Yeah, I think I'll start using that one.)

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XX: Classic Literature Edition

SCENE: Jeremy, Josephine, Cleo and I are out on a walk on a lovely afternoon. We come up on someone in the neighborhood who is painting a new fence white. Jeremy leans in a whispers in an urgent voice:


Jeremy: Now, remember, NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS, we DON'T want to help him paint his fence. 


Me: ...


Jeremy: No matter how fun he makes it sound, it's just a trick so we do all his work and he can sit and laugh at us! Avert your eyes and keep walking!


Me: Okay, Twain, you're right. Let's just keep walking.


(Okay, actually I laughed so hard I couldn't even say anything.)

Happy Days

We are having some ... issues ... over here. The kind you don't talk about on the Internet. BUT, our marriage is tip-top, Josie and Baby X are both healthy, and we have a roof over our heads, so we have the most important stuff covered, right? Right.

So, I am focusing on the things that are making me happy lately. Here are the things I have been loving the most this past week:

1. This WEATHER! Nothing gets Jeremy into a tizzy about how the world is ending and DON'T YOU EVEN CARE, VERONICA? faster than 70s and 80s for weeks straight in March, but DANG I've been in heaven the past few weeks. It looks like it's gone again for the time being, but it was magnificent.  

2. The abundance of park time we have had (thanks to said sign-of-the-apocalypse weather) and how much Josephine LOVES it!

3.  We also spent a lot of time hanging in the backyard, where we played with toys and rode bikes and found treasures like rocks and bugs and nuts (and one berry ... that we won't speak of).

4. And if it's warm enough to hang out in the backyard, it's warm enough for the "three-season room" aka, our porch someone put walls around (totally strange). I love sitting out there in the morning while Josephine plays in her wagon or crawls on my lap or pretends she's a cat. 

watching the storm last night that sent us back to normal weather :(

5. Painting Josie's toenails for the first time with Piggy Paint!

I have always been afraid to paint her nails because I was positive she would eat it off, but my neighbor said this stuff was safe, and she's an honorary healthy hippie, so we borrowed it. Josephine just stared in awe and couldn't stop saying "wow!" in a tiny little whisper, then she couldn't stop touching them when they were dry.

6. Finally catching up on two months of filling out Josephine's second-year calendar. 

Some months I write in it every night, other months I make scattered lists in notebooks then go to my Twitter and facebook to fill in the blanks and make sure I got all the dates right. Two months was the longest time I let it go, and my stomach seriously starting eating itself EVERY NIGHT when I realized with a jolt that I had let another day pass without catching up, so I am SO GLAD it is done. Now, every day is accounted for, and many adorable moments and important milestones have been carefully detailed ... IF she can read my tiny cramped handwriting in those little boxes when she's older.

And there you go: focusing on the good. And now it's time to put the Bean down for her nap -- another good thing! 

The One Where I Write About Nothing and Everything

I've had a hard time writing lately. I have an awful lot on my mind, but all of a sudden I am having this crisis of "What to write? What NOT to write? Do I trust myself to edit? Do I talk too much about x? Do people get annoyed when I talk too little about y and never about z?" I try to remind myself that this is just a silly blog and some people like it and some people don't and SO WHAT? but at the end of the day, some of the things going on in my head I will probably not want to remember, so maybe not writing about them is good? In the past writing is what helped sort out my feelings, but for the past few weeks it has seemed like a trap. A booty trap, if you will. 

I don't know. All I know is that currently I have a lot of things that are scary and sad and weighing heavily on my heart and brain, but I also have a lot of things that are good and potentially life-changing, and they are all happening at once, but at any moment the things that seem scary could disappear and I might never worry about them again, but the good things might not lead to the actual level of goodness that we are hoping for. I know this is all very cryptic and vague and infuriating, and WHY WOULD SHE EVEN POST SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT EXPLAINING HERSELF?, but I think in the next few weeks some things will sort themselves out and in the next few months the rest will be sorted, and HALLELUJAH. Maybe a little less brain pain? We shall see.

However, in the meantime, I can share some snippets of life in our little corner of Capitol City:

1. Jeremy got a new job! This is one of the good things, but is also creating complications that are of the "might take months to unravel" variety. But that's okay, because it is a good job, at a good place, where he will be doing what he has wanted to do for a very long time. Bravo, and all that. Maybe more details on that soon.

2. Tomorrow I see the babeh doctor and get to schedule my 20-week ultrasound that will (hopefully) reveal the gender of Baby X! Four weeks from today!

3. We started calling the new baby Baby X. I cannot tell you how much we enjoy this nickname.

4. I started drinking a crap-ton of lemon water. Like, "enough lemon to make the water look hazy and enough lemon to strip the enamel from my teeth" lemon water. It is about the only way I can drink the recommended amount of water a day, and supposedly there are all these benefits (increased metabolism, etc., etc.) to drinking water with lots of lemon, so I am just assuming my body is now in tip-top shape. Also, delicious.

5. Josephine is adding some fun new words to her vocabulary. My favorites are "bite," as in "Give me a bite of what you are eating, woman!" and "butt" (while pointing at her diaper), which means "Something is about to happen in my butt area" or "Something is currently happening in my butt area" or "Something has already happened in my butt area." It used to only be the last one, so we would change her when she said "butt," but now sometimes we take her up and NOTHING. Then she poops two minutes later. I assumed this meant she was ready for the ol' potty, and when she says "butt" I run her upstairs to the potty seat, but she will sit for like two seconds then say "no no no no!" and run away, naked. 

Other notable words include "please" and "thank you"!!! These are the two newest, and I could not be more pleased!

6. It is Week 10 at work (yes, we have 10-week quarters at my college -- hectic, to say the least), meaning I will be collecting papers and helping my students dry their eyes when they begin sobbing in the realization that life without my class will likely be devoid of happiness. 

7. After this week, I have two weeks off to prep for next quarter ... but I learned today I will only be teaching one class. *sad trombone*. Coming from teaching three classes, an independent study, and having Writing Center hours to only one class will be a nice break time-wise, but not so much money-wise. Oh well. We'll just tighten our belts and make the most of mom being home more!

8. I finally tried green smoothies (fruit, ice, and lots of fresh spinach)! OMG. I might have to do a full post later, because, LOVED IT. I didn't believe it could be true, but you DON'T EVEN TASTE THE SPINACH. Need to buy more spinach to feed my new obsession. 

9. My mom is coming tomorrow for shopping and lunch! It's been a while since we had one of our girl days. 

Well, I hope this makes up for the bizarre and vague intro, because now you likely feel like you know TOO MUCH about my life, right? What can I say? I'm a woman of extremes.

Ta-ta for now,

VMD

P.S. My blood type is O positive. Now you know everything.

Funny Stuff My Husband Says (or Types), Vol. XIX

And here's another reason why it's always entertaining to be married to my husband: You might just get an e-mail like this in the middle of the day:

What say you, Internet friends? :)