It's Not Like I Didn't See it Coming

Remember how I was like, I'm sure it can't last forever, but Josie is being such a good girl in her big girl bed!?

I think you know where I'm going with this.

I had a few kind friends say things like "My kid never figured out that they could get out of bed and play with toys instead of sleeping. You're good to go! I bet Josie will keep being good!" (You know who you are.) Now, I still like these friends, I do. But to them, I say, YOU WERE SO VERY WRONG.

My little firecracker decided yesterday that she didn't want to take her nap. She mostly just talked and sang and ... oh yeah, she got out of bed and read books. In the past when she didn't fall asleep immediately she would just sit in the bed and talk and sing and maybe look over the edge. Yesterday she took the plunge, and apparently she liked it.

Today at naptime, instead of sleeping, she did THIS:

Does she look penitent to you?

Does she???

Okay, it might be hard to tell, since she is so adorable, so let me also tell you this. AS I was taking this picture, she turned to me and said -- I kid you not -- "What? Nap."

"What? Nap," indeed.

ELECTION DAY

I have a tale to tell. A tale of democracy in action. It all began when we moved ...

After we moved, we changed our addresses. We were assured all was well with our voter registration and we were set to vote in our new town. Huzzah! Election Day is a big day for me and Jeremy, and not voting is NOT an option.

Fast forward to two days ago. After checking again to be sure we were all set to vote, we learned we were indeed all set to vote in our new hometown ... beginning November EIGHTH.

That is NOT HELPFUL IN THE LEAST.

We were still registered to vote in Lansing, however. A leisurely two-hour drive across the state.

But WE WOULD NOT BE STOPPED! Someone at the Secretary of State's office who told me I shouldn't request an absentee ballot and was registered to vote at home could not halt the Dimicks and their passion to vote for their preferred Presidential candidate (and all the other stuff I made a cheat sheet for just in case I got nervous and forgot the order of the "yes" and "no" votes on the proposals).

So, yes, I set out this morning -- ALONE! In a car! I couldn't believe it and had to take a picture! -- because my mom also loves democracy and volunteered to babysit.

Then I picked up my man at work and we voted! 

The story gets a little more boring after that.

I tried to get a picture of us proudly displaying our stickers. The first one didn't come out so well.

Either did the second -- look how fat my neck looks when I get excited! 

I tried for a third, but then Jeremy said, "There are people watching! I'm out of here!" and took off for the car. I settled for these:

(he's so cute!)

Yay, democracy! Yes, we loved you enough to drive four hours and spend $50 on gas. 

I figured I better write this today, because if my guy (my cleverly devised nickname for the candidate I voted for) doesn't win ... well, tomorrow could be an emotional day and I might be all "$%^ #*$ @*#($ing democracy!!!" instead.

My stomach is in knots, my hands are shaking a little, and I know it's too soon to turn on CNN, but I want to know! I want to know the outcome of the vote! 

Hopefully you all voted. More specifically, I hope you voted for the same person I voted for, but in general I do hope you voted. We're lucky to be able to do so.

And Then There Were Two (and Thoughts on Admitting Motherhood is Hard)

I've written and re-written an intro to this about 25 times over the past month, and it's never right. I think I'm just afraid to publish it and I'm putting it off. But I'm finally going to bite the bullet and tell you some truths. 

The transition from one kid to two? It's been ... difficult at times. You know how people with two kids will jokingly say "Oh, no, we're not planning on a third, because then we'd be outnumbered, ha ha ha!" Yeah, well, a few weeks before I had Genevieve, I realized (brace yourselves), since I was going to be the one doing the child-rearing ALONE, ALL DAY, until Jeremy gets home around 6 PM ... dum dum DUMMMM ... I was going to be outnumbered. I know, breaking news to all mothers out there with two or more kids, but it really hit me: THEY WIN. ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY. THEY WIN.

Don't get me wrong. This was all a choice. I WANTED my kids to be two years apart. It was a conscious decision on my part, and it was something Jeremy and I discussed extensively. Now, I didn't think my body would take me so damn literally and have them be EXACTLY two years apart (give or take a few hours) and have them both be exactly 37 weeks and 3 days on the day they were born. 

MIND FREAK. 

But, I got what I wanted. We knew there were going to be lots of difficulties in having kids so close together -- mainly the fact that Josephine would still be young enough to require a lot more of me than, say, a school-aged child would. Plus, since she's just at the beginning of potty-training (NO, we didn't force the potty training issue before the baby came, and YES, I have my reasons), it's like I have two babies sometimes. 

One of the hardest things is feeling like I am being of no help to anyone when they both need me at the same time. When both my girls are upset at the same time and one gets none of me while the other gets a distracted and rushed me? KILLER.

When I'm in the middle of helping Josephine with something and Genevieve starts crying, but I can't run right to her? When I realize I am rushing through feeding Genevieve because Josephine really needs my attention? When Josephine does something purposefully naughty and I can't react how I would because I am tied up nursing/burping/changing a diaper? When Josephine asks me to play with her but I can't play the way she wants because my hands are full with the baby at that moment? When I realize I have over-reacted to something Josephine did, because, by god, she's only two and doesn't get as much attention as she needs right now? When they both wake up at the exact same time and need me RIGHT NOW like they do every single morning? It kills me. It absolutely kills me. 

I remember how overwhelming it was to have a newborn (especially one like the newborns I tend to have -- one who needs to be held 24/7 for at least the first five months and doesn't learn how to sleep for over a year), so I knew what I was in for in terms of having a newborn around again. I wasn't prepared, however, for how it would feel to have a newborn need me all the time every day AND have a little person (who can now verbalize her wants and needs and feelings) need me all the time. It's ... a lot. 

I feel like an utter failure most days, but every day gets a little easier. A few people who had kids two years apart told me that they really didn't remember anything until their youngest baby was 6 months old (or older!), and the beginning was all a blur. I'm starting to really understand this. 

I also finally realized that I am mourning two things. The first is the fact that I can't have Josephine be my only baby, because I LOVED that. Ever since she was born, I knew I wanted her to have a sibling, because that is something that was just very important to me and Jeremy, but being able to give her ALL of my love and attention as the only child was awesome. 

I am ALSO mourning the fact that Genevieve will never have what Josephine did. My newborn time with Josephine was so wonderful, even though it was hard. There were times when I sat and stared at her for HOURS while she slept. Genevieve and I will not have that type of relationship, and it breaks my heart. Even though I was sad to give up some of my Josie time, I was so excited to give that time to Genevieve, because she is awesome and amazing and perfect, but I know that time is nothing like the time I had for Josephine.

I think what I really want is to have Josephine still be an only child, but ALSO have Genevieve be an only child so I can give her all that one-on-one time I gave Josephine, BUT have them both at the same time and have them be able to enjoy being siblings. Ummm, clearly this is not possible. 

So, I want a lot of things that will never work out, but I also love that we had them close together. I really do. In having them close together, I know I will bring them closeness. I love to imagine those two growing up to be besties and partners in crime. Then, one day they'll be all grown up and calling each other over glasses of wine to complain about how I get crazier by the day. Think of it! 

Plus, there are a lot of other practical reasons why I really wanted the girls close together in age. If we plan to have more kids, I didn't really have time to space them out by five years, since the years in which I feel comfortable making a baby are quickly running out. Also, if this is our last baby, we can get all the newborn difficulties over with, and in a year's time we might have freedom from 8 PM until 9 AM, like we do with Josephine. I know it's a strange way to think of it, but I wanted to start the sleepless nights again when I was not that far removed from them instead of fully rested and used to sleep again. I mean, Josephine is a sleeper now, but for the first year and a half? She NEVER SLEPT. EVER. And if we have to do that with every subsequent child, I have no desire to stretch that time out over the rest of my life; I'd rather get that part DONE.

All in all, we wanted this. When I told people I was pregnant, a few people had reactions that were ... well, not what I expected. I have been trying to let go of that for a long time, and I think I have now. To the people whose very first responses were "Oh no!" or "Was this planned?", I'm sorry I sprung the news on you and you didn't have time to collect your thoughts before you responded, because "Oh no" was never a thought that crossed my mind when I learned I was pregnant, and yes, this was planned, but really ... that's none of your beeswax, and even if this baby weren't planned, don't you know me? Don't you know that I would be OVER THE MOON to have another baby?

Okay, still working on getting over it, I guess. Getting there.

Ahem. 

What I'm really trying to get at is that it's hard (duh), but I'm so happy to be here. 

And you know what? All of this is okay. It's okay for this to be hard. I'm not perfect. Nobody is. It's okay that these are hard days, and it doesn't mean I'm not excited to have invited another baby into our lives. In fact, Jeremy and I were just marveling at our amazing two-year-old the other night, and I said "We get to have ANOTHER one of these! One day Genevieve is going to do and say all these amazing and funny toddler things!" and we were so excited. I knew I wanted another baby; I knew all the wonderful things I could expect with another tiny babe, but now I know I am dying to have another kid, and I couldn't be more excited. 

I just think there's no value in me coming on here and saying "Oh, everything's perfect! This is SOOO easy! I never get tired or frustrated or weepy! Why, do you? How ridiculous of you!" That's not fair to the moms who are losing their shit a little bit and are looking for someone to say they feel the same way. If you are one of those moms, HERE I AM! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME, TOO! And THAT'S OKAY. It's okay to admit it's hard. It doesn't mean I love my babies any less. It just means I'm tired and worn thin and lonely. But it doesn't mean I'll feel like this forever, and it certainly doesn't mean I don't appreciate how wonderful my life actually is -- TWO KIDS! How on earth did I get this lucky?   

If you can relate to me, then great! Or maybe this was your easy time, and that's great, too! Maybe you are the newborn whisperer, or you have a not-so-needy baby, or you have a toddler who is okay with you sitting around holding a newborn all day. Maybe you rock at being a newborn mom and the school years will give you agony. Being a mom is hard, and some times are harder than others, and IT'S OKAY. It's all, seriously, okay. Because you love your kids more than anything ever in the whole world, no matter how hard some days are. 

Just the other day, Josephine had pushed me farther than she ever had before to the brink of insanity, all while I had the soundtrack of screaming (sick) Genevieve in the background ALL DAY. I was just DONE by the time Jeremy took her away to do the bath and story bedtime routine. But when he brought that little beauty out to say goodnight to me before they went to bed? I could have cried at how much I loved that little stinker. The same thing happens every single night. I see her face and all I want to do was scoop her up in my arms, kiss her until she makes me stop, and then keep her up to snuggle on the couch with me all night and never let her go. My love for these kids is like nothing I will ever be able to express in words. 

Seriously, is there any better reason to feel exhausted and stressed out?

I think not.

Ten Things

ONE: It has been ALL MINNIE, ALL THE TIME since Halloween. Seriously. 

She finally allowed me to put tights on her today, because she was running around with bare legs and feet. Come on, kid, you've still got three days of this course of antibiotics left!

TWO: Josephine really seems to like grabbing the rail on the side of her bed and shaking it as hard as she can. We're not fans. Yesterday when she did it, Jeremy told me said, "Hey! Look! There's a squirrel outside in the tree!" to distract her. I tried it today. 

Worked like a charm.

THREE: I was letting Josie watch "movies" on youtube while she sat on my lap and I was chatting with Jeremy on gchat, when all of a sudden, she thought it might be a good idea to SPIT OUT AN ENTIRE MOUTHFUL OF WATER ONTO MY KEYBOARD. It was not. It was not a good idea.

Most of it landed on the mousepad, and at first it didn't work at all. Now it works intermittently  but will do crazy things like having one of the buttons stick so it's selecting everything or turning things bold in the middle of what I'm typing or moving my cursor all over the dang place and I don't notice I'm typing in the middle of another sentence. This paragraph took me like five minutes to type. So, yeah. 

FOUR: Genevieve has FINALLY gotten to the point where she likes sitting in things, like her swing. The problem is, Josephine likes the swing, too. She likes getting in it and pushing Genevieve in it. Neither of these are ideal. 

Sure, I was able to take a picture and then take a walk down memory lane. That's all well and good. But otherwise, having Josephine jump out of her seat at dinner and whack the swing as hard as she can before we catch her? Not loving it. 

FIVE: So, today at lunch I put the swing up on the table to see if being able to see her sister at eye level (and hear the music -- the wretched, wretched music that it plays and Josephine LOVES) it might make her less inclined to whack at her. 

It did! Go ahead and call CPS, because I was standing right there. We all had a dance party while Josephine ate and Genevieve enjoyed some nice swing time.

SIX: I'm aware that I could just be wearing the baby to keep her out of harm's way. I've been doing that. Actually, I've been holding or wearing the baby about 20 out of 24 hours in any given day. Mostly because she likes it and she's still got a few days left of the sweet "you can't cuddle them TOO much" younger-than-three-months period, so I've been snuggling AND protecting her. 

But, MY GOD does my back hurt, and there's only so much you can get done if you're holding or wearing a baby all day. PLUS, Genevieve likes the Bjorn in theory, but after she's in there for a little while, she gets hot, and that leads to a screaming baby covered in hives. We don't like that. So I am SO HAPPY she likes the swing now, but I can't just leave her there. She needs a frickin' moat around her or something.

SEVEN: Same thing with the poor kid's bedroom. She has mostly been sleeping upstairs with us or in my arms, but during the day, I have been putting her in her crib in her (not-yet-completed) nursery more and more to get her better at daytime napping. While she has been a champ, Josephine always finds a way to wake her up. If I close the door, she bangs on it over and over, hoping I will open it (or maybe she is trying to break it down??), which, of course, wakes up the baby. If I leave the door open a crack, she just runs in there and jams her arm between the slats, yelling "BABY! BABY! BABY SISTER! BABY GENEVIEVE! SHE AWAKE!!!"

Yeah, she's awake now, kid. Thanks for all your "help." You've gotta love her enthusiasm, though.

EIGHT: Josie is obsessed with peanut butter. And she calls it ... wait for it ... peany butter. I will be so sad when she stops calling it that.

Peanut butter on a tortilla. YUM.

NINE: Josephine has always been SO GOOD about taking medicine. She even calls it "num nums" and asks for more. Suddenly, with only three days left of these HUGE doses of Amoxicilin, she decides today that there will be "NO NUM NUMS!" This morning she threw herself on the floor facedown to escape, and when I tried at lunch she pulled this maneuver. 

Don't worry, I got her to take it. It wasn't pretty, and it involved bribery, but at least it didn't involve force. (Plus, the bribery was just "I'll give you more peany butter if you take your num um."). 

But seriously, what it that all about? Last night she said "YUM!" and asked for more, and this morning she says "NEVER AGAIN!" Kids, man.

TEN: This is what happens if I dare try to take a 3-minute shower while Josephine is awake:

Jeremy said, "Wow, that's pretty locker room. Is she hazing you?"

Perhaps. 

Probably.

She hasn't seen Home Alone yet, so I know she's not going all "Wet Bandit" on me. 

And there you have it. Ten things you otherwise could not have gone on living without knowing.

YOU'RE WELCOME, and happy Friday.

Oh Look, Another Halloween Re-Cap!

Oh, you didn't log onto the facebook and see every child in the world in costume already? Good! Because I have pictures of MY children in costumes for you to gaze upon! You lucky so-and-sos!

I kept Josephine and Genevieve's costumes a secret because ... hmm. Well, I guess I assumed the facebook, twitter, and blogger communities were waiting with bated breath and keeping it a secret would increase interest? Yeah, that's it.

Anyway, here's some cleverly cropped images (Josephine on left, Genevieve on right). Guesses?

I guess if I really wanted you to guess, I would have posted this a few days ago. I'll just assume you all guessed before scrolling any further. 

It's the moment you've all been waiting for!!!

Josephine was ....

MINNIE! Of course. She lost her mind when I showed her the costume. Minnie is her favorite gal pal ever.

And Genevieve was ....

A LOBSTER! Because why not, am I right? I've never seen a cuter lobster, personally.

Both of the girls are still pretty sick and neither really slept all day, so it was ... interesting  to say the least. Josephine mostly stormed around, refused to pose for pictures or wear her ears, and was always moments away from collapsing into a puddle on the floor. Thankfully my mom caught the photo above, because most of my pictures of her look like this:

And Genevieve mostly fussed and cried. My poor girls.

But we perservered! It is Halloween! We must go on!! 

We had a full evening. First, my parents came over and brought us dinner (love them) and helped get the girls ready.

We put Genevieve in a pot (wouldn't you?), not realizing the toddler in the room would demand justice and also be allowed to get in the pot.

 "I did not ask to be born into this family."

 "How come SHE gets to be in a pot???"

"OH MY GOD, I'M IN A POT!!!"

"I'M NEVER LEAVING THIS POT!!!!!"

She didn't get out until we pulled her out screaming to move on to our next destination. Good times.

Next we went to see Jeremy's parents. Josie tasted candy, fell in love with handing out candy to other trick-or-treaters (she was shouting "Wait! Come back!" as they left and "More Halloween!" after they were gone), and went a little sugar-crazy. Genevieve fussed and cried, was rocked to sleep by Granny, then fussed and cried some more.

Next up was Great Gran's where many aunts and uncles and cousins also congregated. Josephine played with her cousin Harrison in the other room (OH MY GOD, she's old enough to run around with kids and not be followed constantly. HALLELUJAH!!!) while Jeremy stood and bounced the baby to keep her from bellowing. 

Josephine did not want to leave, and we stayed up much too late. Today has been ... a DAY ... due to her late-night shenanigans last night. But look at those Halloween faces. You'd let them stay up late, too, wouldn't you? 

Sure, Genevieve looks a bit skeptical, but Josephine sure was excited for what will likely be the first Halloween she really remembers. I hope she has many good memories of this day! 

Now, on with the "Things I am Thankful For" posts and Christmas Craft tutorials! Until next year, Halloween!