Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XII

My husband is like the funniest guy on the planet.  So, every once and a while, I salute him.  Like today.  To see all volumes of Funny Stuff My Husband Says, click here.

SCENE:  IN BED.  JEREMY IS SLEEPING.  I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE OF MY @#($*@*! SINUS INFECTION.
Me: *COUGH* (partially muffled, trying to be as quiet as possible)
Jeremy:  *In one motion, flips to face me, and jumps up into a crouching position on the bed, arms out in front of him* WHAT?!?!?!
Me:  I was coughing.  Sorry.
Jeremy:  I thought there was danger!
Me:  Yeah.  You jumped up like Spiderman.
Jeremy:  *Laying back down, rolling over, closing eyes*  Yeah.  That's just a little bonus for ya.


SCENE:  WATCHING TV.  AN OLD NAVY COMMERCIAL COMES ON ADVERTISING THESE SHORTS:

Jeremy:  UGH!  What is wrong with those shorts???
Me:  Huh?
Jeremy:  They are so ugly! 
Me:  Oh.
Jeremy: ... unnnlessss YOU like them.  In that case, they're fine.  I mean, nice.  Beautiful.  I love them.


SCENE:  DRIVING.  I LAUGH AT SOMETHING HE SAYS AND SHAKE MY HEAD.  CLEARLY HE IMAGINES I AM MENTALLY MAKING A NOTE OF IT TO SHARE ON THE BLOG, AND SAYS:
Jeremy:  You know, I'm gonna start writing down the funny things YOU say!!  We'll see who gets the last laugh then!

Making an Effort Monday (Kinda)

In an effort to make more of the things I love -- good food, pretty things, and organized spaces -- I bring you Making An Effort Monday!  It's not a huge effort, but it's an effort nonetheless!

Okay, the biggest effort today is the effort I am making in trying not to go completely berserk and trying to keep my head from exploding.  So, that's awesome.  I had two weeks off between quarters, and the summer quarter starts tonight, and I am teaching a class I haven't taught for years, so I was like, Hey, self, be an awesome educator and start from scratch!  You can do it!  Give these students fresh and awesome ideas!  Yeah ... I needed a little more time.  


BUT, I am officially ready for tonight.  Future weeks?  Not totally.  But I WILL do it.  And it will be a fantastic quarter.  


Josephine is currently standing on my lap and reading the textbook, so I think she will have some ideas for me soon.  


Well, aside from that, no new recipes this week, but NEW BOWS.  

I'm also about halfway done with a big birthday project for Josephine's party, but maybe I should keep that for after the party?  I think I need to keep some decorating secrets.


Well, that's all, folks!  Happy Monday!

WINNING

Oh my god.  Oh my god.  OH.  MY.  GAWD.  *Tries to collect self*  Okay, so it's like this:  The people who know me and my spawn in real life know a bit more of the details of the sleepless life of my little firecracker of a child, so they will definitely be more impressed with this HUGE win, but trust me, this is ... what's bigger than huge?  Enormous?  Gigantic?  Magical?  Yes, maybe it was magic.  


I've told you a few times about our baby who resists things that are necessary, and then I celebrated a slight respite in the sleeplessness, but I've not truly admitted the extent of my willful child's resistance to the land of nod that I soooooo desire to visit more frequently.  Here's the gist:  THE CHILD DOES NOT SLEEP.  Like, for the past few days, in the most horrific moments of our sleep struggle, she had ONE TEN-MINUTE NAP.  ALL DAY.  She sleeps at night (in four-hour intervals), but during the day?  No way, mom!  I'm no baby!!!  I try to make myself feel better by reasoning that she still ALWAYS gets between 12.5 and 14 hours of sleep a day, she just doesn't want to sleep when she doesn't think she should be sleeping.  Plus, didn't Einstein sleep in four-hour intervals?  Even if he didn't, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

So, let me get to the win, shall I?  Brace yourself.  Thins morning my child took ... a THREE-HOUR NAP ... IN HER CRIB!!!!!  Seriously.  I was convinced something was wrong with my clocks or someone was punking me.  But no, the morning nap that she began boycotting at about the four-month mark, was in MY win column instead of that stinker of a baby.


About now some of you might be thinking, But Veronica, motherhood is not about winning!  You are being inappropriate and slightly offensive.  To this, I say NAY.  Motherhood is ALL about winning, because if *I* am winning, then *she* is winning.  As I type this, she is quietly playing with her toys, happy as a flippin' clam.  So when I win, the world damn world wins.  


And now, if she never takes a nap ever again, I will have this to look back on fondly and be able to remember this one magical day where my baby slept like other babies.  Truly a magical day.  Now I shall go and enjoy it.

Josephine Has a Frickin' Fabulous Father

My husband.  My husband.  It's hard to start this.  How to describe my wonderful husband on his very first Father's Day?  

Well, I just KNEW he would be an amazing father.  Way back in the early days we were dating, I could not only see his kindness, compassion, patience, and sincerity, but seeing him with his young cousins and my nieces and nephews confirmed my suspicions that he was a natural caregiver and best friend to young people.  You know how there are just those adults who kids gravitate towards and adore and can't get enough of?  That's Jeremy. 

Watching him become a father over the last 10 months has been awesome.  He does so much for both of us every day, and he certainly deserves much more than a blog post and the "we're-on-a-budget" gift I got for him.  Let me tell you why:

 He was an amazing partner long before he was an amazing father

 He was immediately a protective and loving father

 I always thought it was pretty horrible that after the ladies did all the work, the fathers usually got to hold the babies first, and I was sure I'd be all "GIVE ME THAT BABY YOU JERK-FACE," but seeing the way he looked at her ... it killed me.  I couldn't believe how happy I was.

 I'm so grateful my mom was there taking pictures, because he looks like this in every picture -- he was just beaming at her (while I had on my ugly cry-face)

 From day one, he has always been the master of getting her to sleep.  He has magical powers, I swear.

 There is definitely no way to calculate how many hours he spent holding and soothing our sick little baby in those early months

 And there is also no way to calculate how many hours he spent bouncing her.  He is WAY more patient than I will ever be.

He simply adores her

And she adores him 

 He reads to her every single day, is happily in charge of all bedtime stories, and even has a special book he reads last every single night

 He lets her play her favorite games, which include jamming fingers into mouths, jamming fingers into eyeballs, and pulling dad's hair

He teaches her all kinds of things

His motto is "safety first," even when she complains 

 He's so excited to share her firsts, and he is her rock when she isn't sure what to think about something new

I think Josie said it best here: "You're the number one dad!"

Happy First Father's Day, my love.

Much love,

Veronica and Josephine Isabelle

Book Review: Getting to Happy

My latest book review for the BlogHer Book Club is live!  

Confession: I never read Waiting to Exhale, but when I was offered a copy of the sequel, Getting to Happy, to review, I didn’t hesitate. In fact, I had never even read anything by Terry McMillan before (despite the fact that she once lived about 30 miles from my hometown, and was a PRETTY big deal in the thumb of Michigan) ...

to read the rest of my review (and see other reviews), click HERE