... and boy oh boy, have I got it. Big Time.
I don't even know where to begin in this post, because this has been swirling around in my head for a long long time now, and I don't know how to sort out all my thoughts.
I am ready for a baby. Not in a year, not in six months, but NOW. Now. This is not Silly Girly Baby Talk. It is not squeal-when-I-see-a-baby-but-hand-the-baby-back-when-it-does-something-stinky. I want a baby. I know the stinkyness and sleeplessness and wanting-to-pull-out-hair that comes with children. But I want one more than anything.
My mom has been imploring me to just wait and enjoy my time with Jeremy before rushing into starting our family, and, yes, I am "only" 27, so I am theortically still considered young, but I don't care. I have had enough time to enjoy Jeremy. No offense to him, but, seriously -- we dated for six and a half years before getting engaged. I think I know the dude and we have shared time as a couple. I do NOT mean, in any way, shape, or form, that I am SICK of my husband. I mean, people are always telling young couples who have not been together for very long to "enojoy each other" before having kids, but that is obviously not the case with me and Jeremy. I simply think we are a lovely, happy couple that have gotten used to working together to accomplish goals, and would put that to good use by MAKING BABIES and raising them to be wonderful human beings.
And seriously, what is up with everyone telling me to chill out and that "things happen when they are supposed to"? I know it would be better if we could wait at least five more months before getting pregnant (for silly reasons like money and jobs and school and something like that ... I tend to tune Jeremy out when he talks about that). But aren't I allowed to be baby crazy??
I have known too many people who have told me they have no desire to have children and then one day, oops! they are pregnant. And why can't I have that? I am the one who WANTS the baby.
I see babies and I feel tremendous physical pain. I have cried and cried. When I pass the baby clothes in any given store, I feel my stomach drop to my feet.
And, seriously, why would I NOT want to make a baby who will share these genes?
I don't even know where to begin in this post, because this has been swirling around in my head for a long long time now, and I don't know how to sort out all my thoughts.
I am ready for a baby. Not in a year, not in six months, but NOW. Now. This is not Silly Girly Baby Talk. It is not squeal-when-I-see-a-baby-but-hand-the-baby-back-when-it-does-something-stinky. I want a baby. I know the stinkyness and sleeplessness and wanting-to-pull-out-hair that comes with children. But I want one more than anything.
My mom has been imploring me to just wait and enjoy my time with Jeremy before rushing into starting our family, and, yes, I am "only" 27, so I am theortically still considered young, but I don't care. I have had enough time to enjoy Jeremy. No offense to him, but, seriously -- we dated for six and a half years before getting engaged. I think I know the dude and we have shared time as a couple. I do NOT mean, in any way, shape, or form, that I am SICK of my husband. I mean, people are always telling young couples who have not been together for very long to "enojoy each other" before having kids, but that is obviously not the case with me and Jeremy. I simply think we are a lovely, happy couple that have gotten used to working together to accomplish goals, and would put that to good use by MAKING BABIES and raising them to be wonderful human beings.
And seriously, what is up with everyone telling me to chill out and that "things happen when they are supposed to"? I know it would be better if we could wait at least five more months before getting pregnant (for silly reasons like money and jobs and school and something like that ... I tend to tune Jeremy out when he talks about that). But aren't I allowed to be baby crazy??
I have known too many people who have told me they have no desire to have children and then one day, oops! they are pregnant. And why can't I have that? I am the one who WANTS the baby.
I see babies and I feel tremendous physical pain. I have cried and cried. When I pass the baby clothes in any given store, I feel my stomach drop to my feet.
And, seriously, why would I NOT want to make a baby who will share these genes?
Jealous, ladies?
ooo post the picture of him in the plaid looking very distraught. that's my favorite.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to those feelings, Veronica! For some reason it took two-and-a-half years (THIRTY cycles after we officially started trying) for me to get pregnant the first time. I remember it well, and it was excruciating. So I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteBut! I have a baby now. He is six months old and sweet and cuddly and if you ever need a baby fix, you are welcome to borrow him! I am so not kidding - if you're ever going to be in the Ypsi area, drop me a note and we will make it work. I'd love to see you anyway. :)
Yeah, I guess I always thought (since we had prevented pregnancy in the past), that the EXACT moment we stopped preventing pregnancy, I would get pregnant. Silly girl.
ReplyDeleteI went through and read the archives in your blog, and they really helped me.
And I would LOVE to borrow your baby! I would love to meet both of your little tykes and catch up sometime soon!
Yeah, I guess I always thought (since we had prevented pregnancy in the past), that the EXACT moment we stopped preventing pregnancy, I would get pregnant. Silly girl.
ReplyDeleteI went through and read the archives in your blog, and they really helped me.
And I would LOVE to borrow your baby! I would love to meet both of your little tykes and catch up sometime soon!