Wednesday, November 24, 2010

At Least I Know Myself

Ahh, Thanksgiving.  Food, family, fun, memories.  I LOVE Thanksgiving.  

It's the day after Thanksgiving that really polarizes people.  I mean, there are two distinct "Day-After-Thanksgiving" groups of people:  The Black Friday shoppers and the people who hide in their homes.  Apparently, Jeremy was unaware of which of these camps I belonged to.

Jeremy:  So, should we spend the night tomorrow so you can get up with my mom and aunts and go Black Friday shopping?

Veronica:  Here's my thought on that:  We would save a lot of money on presents for people, but then we would probably spend WAY more than that to bail me out of jail.  So, in the long run, it's cheaper for me to buy presents on any OTHER day.

Jeremy:  Ah, yes.  Hopefully they would arrest you after you killed the FIRST person who pushed you or cut in line or grabbed something out of your hands.  I mean, to keep the carnage to a minimum.

Veronica:  You're such a thoughtful guy.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all Happy Shopping or Happy Hiding!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Holiday Giving Guide: "Child at Heart" Edition

I am a S-L-O-W holiday shopper, and I look around for ages and ages to find presents for my loved ones.  During that extended shopping time, I always find oodles of fun stuff that *I* might not be buying, but I feel that someone else REALLY should be purchasing.

Most of the time, those gifts are of a fun variety because it's possible that my husband and I are a bit ... how shall I put this?  Interested in many of the same things we were interested in when we were children.  You think there's something wrong with that?  Chances are, you live a very boring life.  But hey, I would probably still be your friend.  I'm just THAT kind.

Anywhoo, this edition of my shopping guide is for the young-at-heart amongst you.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Glass Tumbler Set, $24.99
If you don't love you some TMNT, then you either were born LONG ago or like, yesterday.  Either that, or you are cold-hearted.  Or don't own a TV.  I am not making a very strong case here.  What I meant was, EVERYONE loves the Turtles, and these heroes in a halfshell glasses could really sass up your fine china.

Buddha Butter Dish, $19.99
Okay, I have to admit:  I like this butter dish mostly because it reminds me of the moment on The Office when Michael thinks he is making a hilarious joke when he asks Pam to "Buddha" his bread for him.  But the more I look at this thing, the more I love it.  Perfect if your kitchen needs more humor.  Or butter.  Or both.

Henry VIII Heat-Sensitive Mug, $11.99
So this one is actually pretty nerdy, but so I am.  Heh heh.  Henry VIII and his gluttony for wives.  Now THAT'S funny.  To history majors ...

Stormtrooper Lamp and Alarm Clock, $49.99
Also available in Darth Vader and Boba Fett
This one goes out to my husband.  This is what I am sure he would have wanted next to his bed when he was a young lad.  And he might want it there now, but I JUST GOT HIM A NEW ALARM CLOCK AND HE WILL LOVE IT FOREVER AND NEVER NEED ANOTHER ONE.

Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit, $11.99
Is your current refrigerator magnetic poetry kit too romantic?  Is it too mundane?  Does it stifle the horror writer inside you that is bubbling to the surface?  Well, then look no further.  Every morning can start with poetry inspired by devouring brains and whatnot.

Cheeseburger Phone, $19.99
You don't have to be a Juno fan to love this phone.  A cheeseburger you put up to your ear.  Priceless.

Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters, $7.99
I don't mean to be a jerk, but I always thought regular old gingerbread men and women were pretty lame-balls.  If you want some NON-boring cookies, I would highly suggest the ninjabread men, who, of course can also be used with sugar cookies, shortbread, etc.  Add a little ninja to your life!

LEGO Storage Bins, $27 (medium) $41 (large) $32 (head)
Never got over your love of LEGOs?  Also think they make a stylish statement?  Decorate your home with them!  Or, hide them under your bed and then smile every time you pull out your little secret.

Is your fridge missing a mustache?  Yes.  Yes it is.

Happy shopping!  Only 32 shopping days left!  (Do you hate me for saying that?  I take it back.  Do you love me again?  PLEASE?  Because I love YOU.)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. VI

My husband is like the funniest guy on the planet.  So, every once and a while, I salute him.  Like today.  To see all volumes of Funny Stuff My Husband Says, click here.

ALSO, if you did not already know that LiLu, who makes recording her hilarious boyfriend an art, has a whole new blog dedicated to the "Funny Shiz Her Boyfriend Says" ... well, now you do.  Head on over!

SCENE:  Reading One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish to Josephine:

Jeremy:  "Some are sad. And some are glad. And some are very, very bad. Why are they sad and glad and bad? I do not know. Go ask your dad."


Jeremy:  [in a whisper] But I'm her dad!

Veronica:  Are you afraid you won't know the answer when she asks you?

Jeremy:  YES!

SCENE:  We are sitting on our bed, staring adoringly at our baby (as usual):

Jeremy:  [reaches down to touch Josephine's face]  Wow, she is warm.

Veronica:  Yeah, she gets hot easily.  I have to be really careful how I dress her.  She seems most comfortable in short sleeves, even though it is getting colder in the house.

Jeremy:  Awesome!  Think of all the money we'll save on coats!

SCENE:  We are watching TV and a lame Arby's commercial comes on.  The guy says "All I really want in life is a little bang for my buck."

Veronica and Jeremy [simultaneously]:  Oh, really?  That's ALL you want? (or something stupid like that.  We are those people who comment on commercials.  I KNOW.)


Jeremy:  All I really want in life is a dog that craps hundred dollar bills.

Veronica:  ... Jeremy ... [*half-disgusted/half-amused look*]


Jeremy:  Seriously.  That would be pretty awesome.


Jeremy:  No, really.  I would be feeding that dog ALL THE TIME.

Veronica:  Seriously?  This is your dream?

Jeremy:  It's not yours?

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Epic First Halloween of Josephine Isabelle

Yesterday was a big day, folks.  I spent the day attempting to get an almost-three-month-old baby to get excited about Halloween.

As you can see, it went well.

I woke her up from a nap to watch Jeremy carve her pumpkin.  Bad idea.  I took 15 pictures and this was the one where she looked the happiest.

But she helped.  A lot.  Check it:  She's so advanced in her motor skills that she was able to help scoop out pumpkin guts.

And she has such a keen eye that she insisted on checking the pumpkin for stray guts before letting Jeremy move on to carving.

She's also brave, because she requested a scary face for her first pumpkin instead of a cute one, like I suggested.

Did I say brave?  Maybe I meant tired because she got woken up again to pose for this picture.  My sister says she looks drunk.  This is actually the one where she looks the least drunk.  The missing sock really adds to her look, I think.

Then I shoved her into her monkey costume.  Look how EXCITED she is!!

Look at the exuberance!  

She might be a little embarrassed by me, in what is clearly my "super model" costume.

We capped it all off with a photo shoot outside with the spooky pumpkin.  

Take me in the house.  NOW!

But, I did get THIS picture:


I hope your evening wasn't as forced!  Happy Halloween!
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