Friday, October 10, 2014

Perspective (Also, a Poll. A Very Important Poll.)

Last night I was at a meeting and they handed around a bundle of pens and told us each to take one. The outside of the pen was white with blue accents, so I smiled and said thank you, but discreetly doodled on my paper just to check, and ... YES! Black ink! The way god intended. 

Suddenly, for no other reason than the fact that I was relishing having a new BLACK-INK pen, I had a revelation about my marriage and life in general (stay with me here).

I have this thing about pens. I write with black pens, and black pens only. If there are only blue pens at my disposal (shudder), I will use anything else (crayon, lipstick, eyeliner) before using that distasteful blue ink. No, I don't really know why (other than the fact that printers and newspapers print typeface in black ink, so why shouldn't I also produce black lettering), but I will defend my choice until the day I die. BLACK INK OR NOTHING.

Jeremy, on the other hand, is a blue ink man. Now, he lacks the flair for the dramatic that I so luckily possess, so unlike myself, he does not report feelings of nausea when seeing the wrong color ink before him. He simply says "Nope. Get this abomination away from me," and finds himself a blue pen. 

Until last night, I always thought this was something that made us incompatible. Seeing as I am the person who does roughly 99% of the buying of household goods, the fact that I can't buy a pack of black pens and know that it will be universally appreciated irks me. I am further irked by the fact that there are blue pens (BLUE PENS!) roaming around my house, and at any moment, I could pick one up and WRITE AN APPOINTMENT ON THE KITCHEN CALENDAR IN BLUE PEN, destroying the beautiful field of black ink, much like I did yesterday, when someone I had been waiting to hear from called to make an appointment, and I was juggling two small monkeys and food on the stove and a dog underfoot, and grabbed a pen and NO! WRONG! EVERYTHING'S RUINED! 

I even thought I should come here one day and ask you "Who's right? What is the correct pen color? Also, take my side." 

But then, last night, as I was looking fondly at my new Great Start Collaborative pen, I realized it was safe. It was all mine. Because Jeremy would never steal it. Because I only like black pens and Jeremy only likes blue pens and WHOA, HEY, I also don't like sharing, and the fact that Jeremy and I each have this strange hang-up about pens actually makes us MORE compatible because we will never have to share a favorite pen or accuse the other of stealing one. 

Perspective. I have it. 

Get this: It goes further.

Perhaps my two favorite foods in the world are pickles and olives (save me the thoughts on whatever deficiency I likely have because of my penchant for vinegar-based foods). I was truly shocked and saddened that Jeremy hates them with the fire of a thousand suns.

But, guess who is never going to look in the fridge and see her husband has eaten the last pickle or olive? ME.

Jeremy's dislike of nearly every vegetable, anything green, and most things healthy makes cooking for my family one of the most onerous jobs on the planet. I often weep while meal planning. 

But, every time we go to a function where there is a plated meal (of which we have been to many, due to weddings and the fact that my father's job has us knee-deep in banquets), I happily eat all the vegetables off my plate while he eats all the red meat off of his (not my favorite, by a long shot), then we happily switch plates and repeat. DOUBLE OF MY FAVORITES. 

So, really, our mismatched likes and dislikes is a great thing sometimes, and I finally figured it out. It only took me five and a half year of marriage. Look who's swift on the uptake.

Now if only he liked the show FRIENDS, our marriage would basically be perfect.

P.S. Okay, I still want to do the poll. I think people fall into three groups regarding pen color, and I would love to get some statistics on the matter. Your response is crucial! It could save all of humanity! (probably)

Apparently I can't add a poll to a post, so if you look over to the right, directly under the lovely picture of me, you will see a poll. Vote! Vote early! Vote often (once)! I am hugely fascinated. Humor me. 

1 comment:

  1. LOL LOL!!!! It says the poll is closed so I can't add my vote there, but I don't have a pen color preference. I don't judge those that do though! ;)


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