Etsy Saturdays: XII

In support of the handmade revolution, I bring you Etsy Saturdays!  I will highlight a fun new shop every week, and I hope you will stop over to see their merchandise or find something else you love while you're there.  To see all Etsy Saturdays, click here.
*I have not been compensated in any way for this post*

Alright, the ornament thing wasn't a fluke -- Etsy Saturdays are BACK, baby, and better than ever!  I'm starting out with a bang, showcasing Designed Designer: Avant-Garde Wall Decorator's shop.

I've gotta say, I'm absolutely crazy about these vinyl wall decals.  If we ever move into a house that has actual flat walls in the nursery instead of PAINTED WOOD PANELING (shudder), I am getting one of these for my baby girl IMMEDIATELY.  Take a look!

Two Monkeys with Tree, $88

Trailing Cherry Blossom Tree, $86

Safari Playland, $185

Birds in the Urban Forest, $98

Owls on Big Tree, $60

Hooting Owl on Woodland Tree (with optional growth chart), $68

You also choose your colors from this fantastic palette: 

And, yes, there are more than trees available, but all my favorite designs involved trees.  Sue me.  I have been slightly obsessed with owls for the past few years, so trees kind of became an obsession by extension.  In fact, I found this shop by searching for "owl" on Etsy.  True story!

Now head over to Designed Designer to see all of the amazing designs, or head over to Etsy for those last-minute Christmas gifts!

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. VII

My husband is like the funniest guy on the planet.  So, every once and a while, I salute him.  Like today.  To see all volumes of Funny Stuff My Husband Says, click here.


SCENE: WATCHING CONAN MAKE FUN OF THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE
Jeremy:  Ah, yes.  [what sounds like] Elvoldemort.
Veronica:  Elvoldemort?
Jeremy:  L.
Veronica: ...
Jeremy:  Voldemort.
Veronica:  ...
Jeremy:  L. Voldemort.
Veronica:  ...
Jeremy:  Lord Voldemort. 
Veronica:  SIGH.
Jeremy:  Like, H. Potter versus L. Voldemort.

Veronica:  Enough with the H. Potter stuff.  You have been saying it non-stop for weeks, and I think you're doing it just because you know it makes me angry.

Jeremy:  Seriously though.  Do you prefer H. Potter or Harry P.?

Veronica:  Shut up.

Jeremy:  H. Potter it is.

SCENE:  IN BED.  I ACCIDENTALLY FLAIL AND SMACK MY HEAD INTO JEREMY'S, WAKING UP BOTH OF US.
Veronica:  [groggily] Oh, man ... I just hit you ... sorry.  [Falling back to sleep]
Jeremy:  Don't bash your egghead into my skull, egghead!
Veronica:  [Suddenly wide awake]  What the hell did you just say to me?? You better be dream-talking, because that was HARSH!
Jeremy:  Oh, come on.  Egghead?  That is a total compliment!  It means I think you're smart!
Veronica:  Ass.  [Rolls over]
Jeremy:  [whispering]  You're not going to remember this in the morning? ... Are you? 


SCENE: WATCHING The True Story of Thanksgiving ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL
Narrator:  ... so, the Yankees settled the Great Lakes region ...

Jeremy:  You see, Josephine, your family, or "The Yankees" came over many many generations ago and helped settled the Great Lakes region. ALL THIS [waves arms around him in sweeping motion to indicate Michigan] is because of your ancestors.

Josephine:  [stares]

Jeremy:  Well, half of your ancestors anyway.

Veronica:  Thank you for the accuracy.

Jeremy:  Your mother's side of the family was still in Crazyland.

Veronica:  Excuse me?

Jeremy:  You know, The Land of Emotion.

Veronica:  You can't be referring to Italy, can you?

Jeremy:  Yes, yes I can.

Veronica:  [Through clenched teeth] You are SO dead.

Jeremy:  See!  You're proving my point!!

Etsy Saturdays: XI (The Non-Saturday/All-Ornament Edition)

In support of the handmade revolution, I bring you Etsy Saturdays!  I will highlight a fun new shop every week, and I hope you will stop over to see their merchandise or find something else you love while you're there.  To see all Etsy Saturdays, click here.
*I have not been compensated in any way for this post*

Look, I brought back Etsy Saturdays!  And don't even try to be a smart-ass and point out that it is TECHNICALLY not Saturday.  Because I know.  I'm not stupid, just unorganized lately.  I was going to get this together for Saturday, but instead I was sorting baby clothes and crying.  So ... there's that.  Now, the big comeback of Etsy Saturdays with THE BEST OF ETSY ORNAMENTS!!

I had every intention of highlighting all different types of ornaments, and only a few bizzare/funny/geeky ones, but ... well, we all should have seen it coming.  Take a gander, folks.

Starting us off, we have recycled blown glass, beautiful craftsmanship ... and a word that always makes me giggle, no matter what. 

Turd Ball Etched Ornament, $22

Stumped as to what to get your gamer friend?  Or your favorite Italian?  Or the plumber?  Look no further!

Mario and Luigi Ornaments, $10

As I'm sure you all know, bacon is very "in" these days.  

Bacon Angel Ornament, $6.25

Is your tree missing a mustache?  Prolly.  Here's your chance to fix that oversight.

Moustache Ornament, $4

If you don't know who Krampus is, you better get with the freakin' program.  He's a big part of Christmas in the Dimick house.

Krampus Glass Ornament, $15

Then there's ... this.  An octopus in a Santa hat.  With alien eyes.  Festive.

Cthulhuclaus Ornament, $15

And, last but not least ... I don't even.  I mean.  It's ... a brain.  At first I assumed it was just an ode to brains in general but jazzed up for the holidays.  Like, maybe what you would get your neighbor if he/she were a brain surgeon.  Good thing the title clears it up:

Santa's Brain Ornament, $14

Ah, yes.  SANTA'S brain.

Anyway, Season's Greetings!  Merry Christmas!  Happy Holidays!  And watch out for Krampus.  

Growth Spurt

Okay, here's the deal:  My baby is GROWING.  Yeah, I know, they are totally supposed to do that, but not like this. NOT LIKE THIS!!!!  She is growing much too quickly.


Here is the evidence:

"Oh, hi.  Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting here wearing my SIX MONTH clothes on my FOUR-MONTH birthday.  No biggie."

Yeah, I unwrapped one of her Christmas presents to have a cute outfit that was big enough for her to wear.  No worries, I'll re-wrap it and take pictures of her opening it.  What?  She's a BABY.  She'll never know the difference.

Anyway, I blame the growing on her father, who doesn't understand just how terrible it is that she is growing up too quickly.  Look at him, feeding her SOLIDS and convincing her they are good for her. 

Look at that "yum" face she is making.  She has clearly been brainwashed.


More evidence:  ALL of these clothes fit THREE DAYS AGO.  

You should have seen me in there, sorting clothes and crying.  Josephine just laid in the floor and looked up at me, laughing every now and again. Then she rolled over, for good measure, to remind me how she's not a BABY anymore, but a GIRL.


Don't worry, I paid her back by trying on a few of her three-month outfits that I wasn't ready to part with.

"Give it up, Mom."

I tried really hard to make them fit.  Confession:  I also took her out in public like this.  Then I came home, cried, and put the onesie in the bin of "too-small baby clothes" that is now overflowing.


My final piece of evidence:  Comparison photos.  Yeah, I went there.

Now, you tell me that she's not growing too quickly.  Try it.  Doesn't she look like a freakin' three-year-old compared to the first picture?  The pediatrician claims she is in the 75th percentile for height and weight, but I have a sneaking suspicion she is lying to me to keep the rage at bay.  Just a hunch.

I tried talking to my sensitive husband about my feelings regarding the loss of my newborn baby. Here's how it went (hint: not well).

Veronica:  JEREMY!  Just LOOK at her!!  She is huge!  Why is she growing?  Why?  WHY?

Jeremy:  You can't halt progress, Veronica.

Veronica: *death glare*

Jeremy: *runs from room*

On a final (unrelated) note, let me leave you with ... BABY MOHAWK!

I love my giant grown-up baby.

At Least I Know Myself

Ahh, Thanksgiving.  Food, family, fun, memories.  I LOVE Thanksgiving.  


It's the day after Thanksgiving that really polarizes people.  I mean, there are two distinct "Day-After-Thanksgiving" groups of people:  The Black Friday shoppers and the people who hide in their homes.  Apparently, Jeremy was unaware of which of these camps I belonged to.


Jeremy:  So, should we spend the night tomorrow so you can get up with my mom and aunts and go Black Friday shopping?


Veronica:  Here's my thought on that:  We would save a lot of money on presents for people, but then we would probably spend WAY more than that to bail me out of jail.  So, in the long run, it's cheaper for me to buy presents on any OTHER day.


Jeremy:  Ah, yes.  Hopefully they would arrest you after you killed the FIRST person who pushed you or cut in line or grabbed something out of your hands.  I mean, to keep the carnage to a minimum.


Veronica:  You're such a thoughtful guy.


Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all Happy Shopping or Happy Hiding!