An Open Letter to My Confused Brain

Dear self,

Hi. How are you? Me, I am not so fine. Here is what I did NOT like about my interaction with you over the last few days:

1. Your continued refusal to let me sleep at night
2. Specifically, the fact that over the past two weeks I have been averaging a 4:00 AM bedtime even though I have to get up and go to work a few hours later
3. The fact that you TEASED me mercilessly the other night by letting me drift off into slumber at 1:30 AM and wake up the next morning at 9:00 AM feeling refreshed. It sounds nice, but not when you follow it with:
4. Not letting me fall asleep until NINE-FREAKING-AM the following day

I really think we could have a better relationship if you just give me a little slack. I have been giving you slack on the weight thing by admitting that someone of my stature will never get back down to 120 pounds, so can't you just give me this sleep thing? Pretty please?

Just promise to think it over, okay?

Cordially,
Veronica