Procrastination, Thy Name is Veronica

Well, gentle readers, I should currently be grading a stack of papers. 

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That's me.  And the stack of papers.

I will be returning 20 of these to students on Monday and 20 more to students on Tuesday, and Monday I work ALL FREAKIN' DAY, and generally have not one spare minute to grade papers last minute.

Here is what I have done so far today instead of grading those god-forsaken papers:

• Slept in. I woke up when I had planned to, and then my first thought was THOSE PAPERS! NO!!! and immediately went back to sleep. (However, my brain punished me for this -- after I went back to sleep I had a dream that Jeremy left me, and then when I confronted him, he tried to kill me by pushing me out a window!! [And when I told him about this, he LAUGHED. LAUGHED!! I explained to him that trying to kill me was NOT FUNNY and he said he laughed because it was so ridiculous. Harumph.] Duly noted, brain.)
• Tooled around on Facebook. I do not want to receive any comments about this, people who know me.
• Watched two episodes of Millionare Matchmaker. New episodes, people!
• Dumped four flower pots full of dirt and seeds that never sprouted into the garbage. And they were going to be so pretty!! (Sweetpeas and candytufts!) I had already tried to grow some in big pots out in the front yard, and they never sprouted, so I planted some inside in smaller pots, but it seems that if there has not even been a sprout after three months, then they are not going to grow. :( [Editor's note: I did NOT, in fact, dump the entire pot and all the dirt contained within into the trash. I simply scooped out the top layer and dud seeds and put the remaining dirt and pots in the garage. I may not be a Master Gardener, but I am not wasteful. Sorry for not being more specific mom and Jeremy.]
• Threw away my orchid. I had recently been told by many friends (who shall remain nameless) that "Oh, orchids aren't REALLY that hard to take care of!" I followed all their advice to a T, and it is now dead. Dead, dead, dead. Wah!
• Weeded all my plants outside that are actually growing. (Blech! I hate weeding!) Seriously, I got some things to grow! And I have three tomato plants that are actually THRIVING (thanks for the donation mom!)
• Cleaned my kitchen. Not that is takes very long to clean a one-foot by one-foot kitchen. Seriously, I get claustrophobic in there!
• Did dishes. Usually Jeremy's Job, but I was feeling charitable.
• Did two loads of laundry. Now there are only two tiny piles in the basement! Yay!!
• Swiffered my entire first floor hardwood floors. I do this every day because, as it turns out, my animals shed more than any other animals on the planet. I am not exaggerating. When I first adopted MoJo, I swear he did not shed for the first six months, and then it was like an avalanche, and it has never ceased. THEN, the same thing happened with Cleo. Jeremy and I think it might be some sort of strategy that shelter animals learn, like they are plotting Hey, if we act like we don't do messy things like shed, then they might think we are low-maintenance, and then we are secured places in this luxurious mansion with owners who pamper us silly. Because, I am sure there are people who adopt animals, decide they are too much work, and take them BACK (bastards) or give them away (heartless jerks), not that Jeremy and I would. There is no way I would send my animals back to "Puppy and Kitty Prison," as Jeremy calls it. I would sell every one of my possessions before I gave up my animals.
• Vacuumed my entire carpeted second floor. Same story as the hardwood floors. The carpet is very light and my animals are both big, black shedders, so I have to do it every other day, tops.
• Vacuumed the stairs. I cannot even use my regular vacuum for this; I have to use the tiny little cordless vacuum my oldest sister got me for a wedding present (Thanks Lise!!) because the stairs are so shallow (is that the word to describe it??) that my big monster feet do not fit on them at all.
• Dusted and polished all of my wood furniture. Mmmm. I LOVE the smell of the Swiffer furniture polish!!
• Drank about four cups of coffee
• Played on "Farm Town" for entirely too long. My mom has been pestering me to be her neighbor on Farm Town for, roughly, ten years now, and I always told her no way. For some reason, I caved last night. She told me I wouldn't have to do anything, just allow the application and then she would move up another level. Unfortunately, if I start something, I have to be the BEST at it. IMMEDIATELY. So, I have gone from level one to level six in a few hours, and I don't want to stop. ACK!
• And now (duh), I am blogging about not doing what I am supposed to be doing.

What I did NOT do yet today:

• Even bring my pile of papers in from the "three season room." (this is what they call a porch that they have walled in but not insulated. It is more like a two-month room.)

Well, I think I am going to go walk the dog. Then, maybe ... just maybe ... I will pick up those papers to read.