Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I Added Numbers to Distract You From the Fact that There is no Common Thread

Is it wrong to hope that the girls have some sort of bug? I mean, I'm 99% sure it is wrong, but hear me out. They have been INSANE lately, and everything is messed up -- sleep, diapers, attitude, etc. I have a runny nose and just started coughing today, so maybe if they just have a virus or something, then in a few days they will be back in tip top shape and I can forget some of the horrors that I have witnessed over the past few days.

At any rate, here are some of the other things on my mind lately:

1. Genevieve ... well, the kid just won't freakin' sleep. At all. It's been two months of her refusing to sleep for longer than ten minutes at a time -- with three exceptions, two of which were during the day, natch. We have tried to adjust every single variable -- temperature of her room, amount of clothes on her body, sleeping position, level of darkness, white noise versus no white noise, EV. ER. EE. THING. And before you give me the, yeah, kids don't sleep, suck it up speech, let me just say -- shut up. Some kids sleep. In fact a LOT of kids sleep. And at this age she needs a LOT more sleep than she is getting to stay healthy, so not only am I worried about my precarious sanity (you try not sleeping for longer than ten minute intervals for two months and get back to me), I am worried about my little biscuit. 

Oh sure, she might be fine in a few days, or in a few weeks, in which case you can tell me that I was a big lame complainer and everything is fine now and I should have just shut up about it all. But she might still be doing this for another year or maybe -- heh -- maybe she'll never sleep for longer than ten minutes at a time, but if that's the case, then one day she will be old enough for me to put in her room and let her talk to herself and read herself books when she doesn't feel like sleeping. So, either way, I suppose it WILL come to an end. I just wish I had one of those kids who slept. Is that too much to ask (apparently, yes, yes it is).

2. Have you seen the last Mission Impossible movie? Ghost Protocol? Well, my dear husband decided to try to watch it two weeks ago on Thursday night when I teach. He got both of the girls to sleep, started it, then had to hit pause every ten minutes to go get Screamy McBaby, rock her to sleep, pray she didn't wake up Josephine, put her down, creep back to the living room to watch ten more minutes, and on and on until I got home. 

Anyway, it ended up taking him three weeks to finish the movie (so sad, our lives, am I right?), but he was obsessed the the term "invoking ghost protocol" -- even before he knew what that even MEANT. So, the past three weeks have been full of Jeremy doing fun things like beginning to answer a question I have, saying you should "blah blah blah, and then ... INVOKE GHOST PROTOCOL! Wait! Where are you going? That's FUNNY!" or teaching Josephine to say "invoke ghost protocol," which, yeah, it's cute because of how she says it ("Indoke dost protocol") (she also calls "dinner" like "ginner" -- Ds and Gs are hard, yo), but really, not that funny when he laughs so hard after at me trying not to sigh and roll my eyes. He didn't say it at all yesterday, for the first time in three weeks, mostly because he went in to work early and got home late and was exhausted, but I'm still on edge. If he got a lot of rest last night, he might spring it on me tonight. GUH.

To answer your question, NO, I have no idea why I hate the phrase so much. But I CAN tell you why he is using it so much -- because I HATE IT SO MUCH.

3. A new phrase in our house that IS adorable is Josephine saying "SURE DO!" when I ask her something. Love it. 

"Do you want to play with blocks?" 

She has also started saying (prepare yourself for the cutest cuteness) "My sure do love my mama!" (pronouns are also hard. "My" means both "I" and "me" when used at the beginning of a sentence lately). I mean, COME ON. You could have knocked me over with a feather the first time she said that.

4. That reminds me a few other things she is saying that have been cracking me up: 

She has been saying "That's a funny one!" when she thinks something is funny or when she thinks something she has said is funny.

When I turn on the lights in the morning, she covers her eyes and says "Too shiny!"

Instead of just asking for bandaids now, she tries to convince us she needs them. She says "uh-oh!" bends down, touches the floor for a millisecond, then stands up, shows us her finger, and says "Got a boo boo! Need a bandaid!"

She has also been singing a lot lately. The other morning she made up a song about me cooking an egg in a pan and how much she loved eggs while I was making one for her.

She's something else.

5. One last thing. I don't know what it is, but no matter what time Josephine wakes up in the morning, EXACTLY one second before Josephine starts wailing in her room for me to come get her, Genevieve fills her diaper with swamp water. But only on weekdays, when I am home alone and they both need me simultaneously. 

Timing. She has it. 

How to wrap up something that had no focus? How about I tell you that I just tried to put Genevieve down for a nap and she refused. Oh good, let the overtired baby cycle begin again today! I'm ready! 

(Good ending, right?)

1 comment:

  1. Boo. Lack of sleep makes me a monster. I hope that sleepless situation gets better soon than later. Seriously. Love all the sweet little things Josephine is saying! Wish I could hear her little voice saying them!! Especially the "That's a funny one!" Must be hilarious to hear her say that!


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