I've Been Keeping a Big Secret (NO, IT'S NOT TWINS)

I've been hinting like a cryptic ass about "big decisions" and "issues" and whatnot for months and months now. Sorry about that. We had to keep secrets for a variety of reasons, and I still can't tell you all the reasons it was so complicated for us, but I can tell you the biggest things.

It all began when Jeremy got his new job. I mentioned it very briefly back then, but to say it put a few wrinkles in our life as we knew it was an understatement of epic proportions. Old job was a few miles from our house in Lansing, and new job is an hour away. However, it is also one hour closer to back home than we are now -- essentially, his new job is exactly in between where we currently live and where we want to live. This was actually one of the big factors in us deciding he should take the job; it meant that one day we might be able to move back home, something we have been dreaming of. 

Now that Jeremy doesn't work five minutes from our house, I still need to commute to work, none of our medical needs can be met (did I ever mention new insurance doesn't cover any doctors in Lansing? Yeah, HILARIOUS, right?), we live in a rental home that I HATE, and we only have FOUR friends in this whole city, so we really didn't see many reasons to stay living here. However, that left us with a few options that all had pros and cons: 

1. We could move to the city where he works. No, no, a thousand times, NO. There are a lot of cities in Michigan I can think of that I wouldn't be excited to move to, but this is the only one to which I would NEVER move. And no, it's not Detroit, so don't be mean. 

2. We could move to some random city on the outskirts of the city where Jeremy works that is still kind of close to work, and also closer to back home. We considered this one for a long time, but it definitely didn't seem right. The only upside would be a shorter commute, and the downsides would be we know no one there, we know nothing about the area, I would have the same (45 minute) commute to work, and we would still be far enough away from family that we probably wouldn't see them any more than we already do. Plus, with all these downsides, it would make it really hard for us to want to buy a house there, and we are NOT renting anymore. NO.

3. Try to move home or close to it. With this scenario, we would be within spitting distance of both of our families, plus Jeremy's extended family, in an area we really love and feel comfortable buying a home, BUT Jeremy would still be commuting as much as he is now. I would not be able to keep my job, but would likely be able to work in the branch of the college in the area.

There were actually a whole lot more issues all tied up in this, many of which it would not be wise to discuss on the ol' blog here, but our main issue was deciding where we wanted to be in the long run and if all the other factors in our life could match up with that. 

I think you know where this is going. We decided to move home. And we ARE.

WE ARE BUYING A HOUSE! It took me a long time to be able to say it, and I still feel like I am going to jinx something, because it's not done until we close, and that is FREAKING ME OUT, but we are supposedly closing in about a week.

I KNOW, right? 

When we put the offer on the house, I wanted to tell everyone. When the offer got accepted, I wanted to tell everyone. When we went and signed all the paperwork with the mortgage company, when we had the home inspection, when the appraisal came back --  I wanted to tell everyone. Since we are now so close to closing, I decided to stop being so superstitious and finally tell everyone! 

Here it is. It's a tiny little bungalow that has strangely been painted Christmas colors, but it has better layout of living space, a better yard, a better neighborhood, better schools, and closer proximity to family than where we are now. We're a short drive from the beach and close to all the places we loved growing up. And it's going to be OURS.

I have a lot to say about it (lucky you). Coming up: house hunting, making an offer, the "wrinkle" in our best-laid plans, and the details of what makes this house great and what we plan to change. 

We're so excited to finally be homeowners. 

I WILL Be Okay

I'm angry. I'm very very very angry. About multiple things. These things are out of my control, but I can't stop being angry about them. Today I let myself get angry enough that I started having contractions. When I did some deep breathing, they stopped. Obviously, I need to find a way to get over these things or get over myself. 

I made a list of the things that were making me the angriest of all the problems we are having, and there are five things that are making my blood boil.

So, I decided that a good little exercise for myself would be to think of TEN things that are making me over-the-moon happy right now, in the midst of the five things that are making me consider vehicular manslaughter.

1. Josephine is going through a phase in which she runs at me, arms spread wide, with wild abandon and great urgency, shouting "Mama, HUG!!!" -- about a million times a day.

2. My camera has made its way from the church where I left it to my brother-in-law's house, and by this weekend, it should have made its way to my mother- and father-in-law's house, meaning I should be able to go pick it up when I go to my doctor's appointment in Port Huron on Tuesday. This also means I will only be driving 40 minutes out of my way instead of taking a 4.5-hour round trip to the middle of nowhere to fetch it. THANK YOU ALL INVOLVED!

3. Josephine officially knows ALL OF HER LETTERS. She still has a little trouble saying "H," and sometimes when she sees a "C" she just turns it on its side and calls it a "U," but that's also pretty clever, so I'll take it.

4.Jeremy brought home Chinese take-out for dinner, which not only means deliciousness, but NO COOKING FOR ME. HUZZAH!

5. We got two A/C units for upstairs and we slept in relative comfort last night for the first time in a long time.

6. Josephine and I spent about a half an hour watching old videos of her on my phone today. This one pretty much takes the cake:

7. I took a nap today. A NAP. It was so glorious that when Josephine woke up from her nap, my nap-brain thought, "Maybe she's just goofing and will go back to sleep so I can too."

8. Someone posted a picture on facebook of Josephine in her flower girl dress (made with love by me and my mom)! You don't see much detail, but you get the idea. CUTENESS. She can rock any look.

9. Tetris on my phone. Try and make me feel ashamed. You'll never do it. I play it in bed after Jeremy falls asleep and while I'm trying to turn off my brain and wind down. Love it.

10. Josephine's new "chicken" sound. (We have a little chicken toy that makes a rooster cock-a-doodle-doo -- irresponsible to say the least, but it did bring you the following cuteness, so I forgive it)

Okay, that list might have been harder without all the cute Josephine bits, but I am okay. I will be okay. It will all be okay. Sometimes I just need to remind myself.

Book Review: Into The Darkest Corner

When I first started reading Into the Darkest Corner by Elizabeth Haynes, what (obviously) jumped out at me was the way the book is narrated: there is a dated entry from 2003, then a dated entry from 2007 ... and back and forth and back and forth for the rest of the book. I was like NO. I just can't do this. Set-ups like this generally give me intense rage and make me give up on books. Shockingly, by the third page, I didn't mind anymore, which is a true testament to the story.

The back-and-forth follows the same character, Cathy, leading up to a traumatic event, and following her post-trauma. Since you already have a general idea of what happened to Cathy in 2003, reading the story of her increasingly abusive stalker boyfriend is very tense -- you know something terrible is about to happen, but you don't know when and you don't know how crazy things will get before it happens. In the "post-attack" timeline, you see a shattered woman trying to rebuild her life, but something tells you that you are not just reading a story of overcoming PTSD and OCD -- something else is going to happen to Cathy. But what? It's a nail-biter, to say the least.

It's more than just a suspenseful novel, however. It touches on tough subjects, like abusive relationships, stalkers, and mental illness. It's uncomfortable to read at times, and you will find yourself screaming at Cathy in your head, but you will also put yourself in her shoes and wonder how you would find a way to escape and what you would have the strength to do. At one point the character tackles this idea head-on, saying she always thought women who didn't leave abusive relationships were lying to themselves when they said it wasn't as easy as it seemed to just leave.  

This book is certainly well-written (I often found myself stopping to think how she actually wrote the two separate but complimentary storylines and got everything to match up so well!), it is different, and it is definitely a page-turner. 

If you'd like to read what the other bloggers on this TLC book tour had to say about this book, click HERE for the master schedule. You can also check out the author's website, facebook page, or Twitter account if you'd like. 

I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for this review. I was not compensated, and the opinions expressed are solely my own.

What We've Learned Here Is Most People Want to Know If They Have Boogers Hanging Out of Their Noses

Remember when I asked you to pass judgment on our marriage? Well, today is they day I share results and reveal the identities of Spouse A and Spouse B!


Thanks to everyone for playing along, because that was really fun. But man, it also turned out differently than I expected. I expected a lot of "Spouse A all the way!" and "Spouse B 4-eva!" comments in the spirit of debate, and obviously I wrote this post to be funny, but then my very first comment went ahead and gave ACTUAL advice. Man. 


In case you didn't read the comments (and if you didn't, do it, because there were some awesome and hilarious ones!) or didn't vote (shame on you!), like five minutes after I published the post, Leeapeea said:

I think I actually blushed, because DUH, and also, that had obviously never really occurred to me.


Here's the rub: I discussed it with Jeremy, and he is AGAINST IT. AGAINST IT!! Can you believe it?


I guess now would be the time to reveal the mysterious identities of Spouse A and Spouse B. I know this might come to a shock to some of you who know me in real life, but ... I was Spouse A. It's true! 


I must, MUST know if I have something going on with my appearance that could easily be fixed to avoid embarrassment, and I would MUCH rather have that come from my husband than anyone else, because I know he is not judging me. Others? They judge. OH, they judge. 


I also think that, in general, people would rather know these things than to go on about their day only to find toilet paper in their shoe at the end of it and curse me for letting them go on their merry way to do any number of important things. If I like you, I tell you about the spinach in your teeth. It's a sign of love. Therefore, the thought of NOT telling Jeremy, just because that is his preference, is very disturbing to me. That would place him in the "people I don't like" category in my brain, and that is just not computing. I'm also willing to admit that every time I would "helpfully" point things out to Jeremy, I was hoping he would think, Wow, Veronica saved me from embarrassment in public. She's right! I should do this for her, just like she begs me to all the time! Obviously, that was not the case, and I should be willing to give in and do what makes him happy in this instance. I'm willing to give it a go.


Jeremy, on the other hand (Spouse B), said he straight-up will NEVER make a comment on my appearance, because he thinks it is not his place to decide what is "not good" about the way I look. Now, I agree that I would prefer he not say things like "Man, are you going to do your hair before we leave the house? Because you look like a refugee." or "You know that shirt makes you look frumpy, right?" but I DO want him to tell me when I have stray hairs or boogers or food in my teeth. I want him to with ALL OF MY HEART, and he says he refuses. REFUSES!


In any case, it was nice to hear that so many people said they were Spouse A types and wanted to know themselves and would tell others to help them out. It made me feel like I wasn't totally ridiculous or anything. And I was definitely (not-so-secretly) hoping that there would be more votes for me because YOU WOULD TOO. Spouse A was the clear winner in the comments, as long as it is said kindly and in private, and that is how I roll, so I felt a little better.


However, that advice about respecting each others' wishes? I don't know how that's going to work. Jeremy is sounding pretty stubborn.


I, on the other hand, refrained from telling Jeremy about a booger hanging out of his nose that I noticed moments before we were going to get out of the car and head in to a family party. ONE POINT FOR ME. 


Then, after said family party, I got in the car, looked in the visor mirror, and noticed my eyeliner was smeared all over my face, in full-on Joker fashion. NEGATIVE ONE POINT FOR JEREMY.


Which means, if marriage were a competition, I would be WINNING. WINNING, I TELL YOU!


Not that marriage is a competition.


(But if it were, I'd be WINNING!)


(WINNING!!!)

How We Named Josephine AND a HUGE GIVEAWAY!

OH BOY, do I have two great things for you over at my Review Page! Not only will you get to hear the story of how we named Josephine, but you will have the opportunity to enter a fabulous giveaway worth $500 of cards from cardstore.com!! Head over to the Review Page, ASAP!! You will not be disappointed!

TAKE ME TO THE REVIEW PAGE!