Josie Says, Vol. 4 (Josie-isms)

Josephine is growing up awfully quickly lately. Luckily, she's still little enough to have some delightful Josie-isms that make us smile. These are a few of my favorite that I want to remember forever: 

        Grad-u-mations [decorations]

        Sell-a-kin [skeleton]

        Yes-ta-day [yesterday]

        Kur-kur-ins [curtains]

        Mersh-a-null [commercial]

        Otta-bim [ottoman]

        Chicken and dunk-lins [chicken and dumplings]

        Scoose Meece [Excuse me]

        Puh-sided [decided]

        Uh-fore [before]

        Mystery mark [question mark]

        Oh, fishel-sticks [Oh, fiddlesticks]

        Chicken doodle soup [chicken noodle soup]

I know it sounds silly, but I'll be really sad when she pronounces all of these correctly. Until then, I'll be making lots of chicken doodle soup.

I'll Never Learn, Vol. Ten Million

Honestly, sometimes I really wonder why I come on here to complain. I always feel better after I hit publish, and when I get responses in the comments and on facebook, I feel even better and usually have some things to laugh about, but it always seems to come back and bite me in the butt.

First the not-so-tragic things that happened yesterday: After I complained about my shoulder being messed up from falling down the stairs, I slipped on the ice in our driveway, and in order to not drop G, I flung my arm out and ... you guessed it, hurt my shoulder again. Then, I ... well, I fell down the basement stairs and HURT MY SHOULDER AGAIN. Jeremy called on his way home, and when I told him what happened, he said, "Veronica ... no one is EVER going to believe that." 

So, I get it. I shouldn't have complained about my shoulder. POINT TAKEN.

But, hey universe. Why did you have to take it out on my kid? 

Yeah, Genevieve woke up from her nap with her face so covered in the rash that her eyes were swelling shut. Her prescriptions were finally ready at five, and I gave her the first doses, but at this point, she was shaking. An hour later, she was still shaking, her fever had spiked to 102, her heart was racing, and she was just a limp pile of goo in Jeremy's arms. I called the after-hours nurse line, and as she was recommending I take her to the ER, Jeremy whispered "her breathing is kind of funny."

It made for one exciting night. Luckily, they got her fever under control and all her vitals were fine after that and we got sent home. I resisted the urge to post a picture of her, because she looks truly awful, but I will tell you that she has Erythema Multiforme, which is a horrific-looking rash that is triggered by an autoimmune response in the body that is likely triggered by a virus or other infections. Based on her other symptoms, our pediatrician thought it was triggered by a mycoplasma infection, which is why she started her on antibiotics right away. The steroids were supposed to slow the rash so it didn't overwhelm her the way it did last night, but since the first doctor we saw delayed her treatment by 52 hours, it was a bit too late.

I'll tell you what, I was thinking some truly terrible things about that man as I was packing up my sick daughter to race her to the ER in the middle of the night. Especially since my pediatrician took one look at her and knew it was not just typical viral hives and was Erythema Mulitforme, and the same thing happened with the physician's assistant and then the physician and the hospital. One look and they knew what it was. 

BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.

Little Bit is doing a little better this morning. We kept her fever down, and for the first time since it started, it hasn't spread in twelve hours, so I am counting this as a win. The problem that remains is it could last as long as four weeks, but it's not contagious, so if she feels better and we want to go out into the larger world, we might get some pretty dirty looks. My friend said we should just have a shirt made that say "IT'S NOT CONTAGIOUS." I'm looking into it.

In the meantime, if you could think non-rashy and non-fevery thoughts, we'd take them. I'd like to say I'll never complain again, but .... nah. 

Hate It, Love It

Well, folk, since we last spoke, I got whatever bug the girls had (blerg, but whatever), then a few days later Jeremy started feeling cruddy as well. Nothing major, just the coughing, sore throat, headache, congestion thing about 95% of the world has at the moment. By Sunday, it seemed like Genevieve was finally feeling better.

BUT THEN ... 

MYSTERY RASH.

My little biscuit woke up with some strange red bumps all over her chest on Monday morning. Her pediatrician was home sick with her son (and had to cancel patients for the first time ever, she later told me), so I went to the back-up doctor. He said it was textbook viral rash, and I should give her an antihistamine and call for a follow-up appointment in a week if it didn't get better.

I should have been relieved, but it just didn't sit right with me. THEN, this morning she woke up with the bumps spread to her face and legs. Within an hour, her ears were totally red and swollen, her whole scalp was covered, and her ankles, wrists, and knees were red, swollen, and hot to the touch.

Even though my pediatrician was slammed, she said to bring G in and she would see her instead of taking a lunch (WE HAVE THE BEST DOCTOR EVER). Guess what? NOT HIVES. It's an infection that needs to be treated with antibiotics, and because it went so long without treatment, the rash had gotten to the "swelling phase," which is very painful and needs steroids to control.

I AM LIVID. 

And now, everything is making me mad. I wanted to list all the things that are making me mad, but I compromised and decided I could come here and bitch if I listed one thing I am loving for every thing I list that I am hating.

Here we go:


Okay, this 24-hour beer challenge. I HATE IT. Why are people doing this? If you haven't had these videos show up in your timeline and you have no idea what I'm talking about, just count yourself lucky (or Google it, whatever. I'm not your mom.). It just makes me feel very icky. And it's very aggressive. DON'T TELL ME I ONLY HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME TO SLAM A BEER BY POSTING A VIDEO OF YOU SLAMMING ONE. NO SIR. (Okay, now you don't have to Google it, I guess. But you still can, if you want. Seriously, I'm not your mom.)

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My dear friend is 20-ish weeks pregnant and just found out if she's having a boy or a girl! She called and told me last night and then told me to make a list of names for her. I got out my baby name books and boy howdy, did she get a list last night. I wish I could name a hundred babies (as long as I don't have to carry them all to term, because DAMN that is hard work).

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If I see one more picture on facebook of a JELLY DONUT being passed off as a paczki, SO HELP ME. At first I was mad at the people posting the pictures, then I realize my anger should be directed towards the institutions that find it acceptable to toss a plain old flat jelly donut on a tray, put a different sign in front of it, and raise the price. YOU JERKS. Okay, I'm also a little mad that the girls are sick so I can't pack them up to drive the 40 minutes to buy a real one.

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I have been re-watching 30 Rock from the beginning on Netflix, and I am so glad that 30 Rock exists, not to mention Netflix Instant Play and Chromecast. Before that I watched Parks and Rec and The Office all the way through again from the beginning, and oh, they make me so happy.

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Remember how I landed funny on my shoulder when I fell down the stairs? Well, I did, and it still hurts SO BAD. The worst part is, as soon as it starts to feel a little better, I do something normal and it pops out again and I have to stifle a scream and a stream of swear words. Nine times out of ten I am holding Genevieve while I do it, so it's a fun little moment. 

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I seriously love the name generator Slate created to "Travoltify" your name. (If you didn't watch the Oscars, you'll need some background on that one. I did the work for you on this one: CLICK HERE.) I got Victoria Dicksant, and I laugh every time I see it. Dicksant! 

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Alright, I know the things I'm angry about make me seem like a total butthead, but I'm in a bad place people. Don't give me crap about it. YOU'RE NOT MY MOM. 

(Well, one of you is. Hi, mom!)

Poor Jeremy

THE SCENE: Jeremy comes out of Josephine's bedroom, where he apparently had a hard time getting her to go down for bed. I am standing at the sink, washing dishes.

Jeremy: I don't mean to ... accuse you ... or anything, but did you cry a lot as a child?

Me: Why, was Josie crying a lot tonight?

Jeremy: My god, every little thing that happened set her off into hysterical crying!

Me: I told you she skipped her nap today. She's overtired. 

Jeremy: I mean, I never cried. I think I cried four times from birth until the time I was eighteen. You can call my mom. She'll back me up on that.

Me: Well, (turning around to face Jeremy) we just have a lot of feelin--

Jeremy: (cuts me off) -- Wait. Are you crying ... right NOW?

Me: Yes. (*hiccup*)

Jeremy: Why? What happened?

Me: Well, I was rocking Genevieve to sleep, and she pulled my face down to hers and just held my head so we were cheek-to-cheek. (*sob*) Then she pulled away, and THEN moved back in and gave me an ESKIMO KISS! And then SMILED! With her little half-closed sleepy eyes! And then she sighed happily! 

Jeremy: .....

Me: And then I thought, How do people DO this? How do they one day stop holding their babies cheek-to-cheek? How am I going to handle it when they're 30 and we just talk and sit around and they don't snuggle up to me and make me rock them to sleep? And what if Josephine and Genevieve never know how much I love them?!?!!? And why don't I snuggle with my mom every time I see her and give her eskimo kisses with half-closed sleepy eyes?!!?

Jeremy: This explains so much.

Odds and Ends

Josie had some little bug for the past few days -- fever, congestion, one puke incident -- luckily it came and went within a few days and I got lots of pedialyte in her early (I finally learned from my mistakes!), so I think she's about 95% healthy.

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Did I ever tell you I think as soon as she gets a fever, Josie gets dehydrated really easily, and then the more dehydrated she gets, the higher her fever spikes? I think that's what happened when she wound up in the hospital after we all had the norovirus, and it happened the next time she was sick. Her fever kept getting worse and worse, I let her chug an entire bottle of pedialyte, and BAM, fever gone in a few hours, right as rain the next day. So weird, but I also get dehydrated VERY easily, and both the girls and I are sensitive to heat -- heat stroke is a real possibility pretty much every day of the summer. 

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When she was sick, Genevieve brought Josephine a blanket and kissed her legs to make her feel better, though, so that was pretty great.

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I was hoping that Genevieve escaped the bug, but she had a teeny cough yesterday and woke up early this morning all congested and feverish. DAMN. We had to miss playgroup this morning, which was absolutely devastating for Josie, but hopefully she'll survive. 

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But she wasn't too sick to play puppy. Get this -- she plays pretend a lot lately, and she crawls around to play baby, but when she crawls around to be a puppy, it's totally different, because she curls her little fingers under to make them into paws! (PAWS!) (!!!)

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Last night Josie woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare (something that's happening more and more often. Poop.) and I was running downstairs to comfort her and I fell down the freaking stairs. The worst part is, for some reason, my left arm was back behind me, and I landed on it, and it rotated it all the way up toward my head. Imagine a Barbie's arm rotating backwards and then all the way back around to the front. Pretty much just like that. 

I slid down the rest of the stairs and told Jeremy to go to Josie, and I cried on the living room floor for a while. It hurt so badly that I thought I had dislocated my shoulder. After some wailing, I determined it wasn't dislocated, so I went back to bed. Let me tell you, it hurts pretty dang bad this morning.

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It was a double half-birthday on February 9th!! 

Jeremy and I decided it was important to us to celebrate their half-birthday just to give them something a little extra, since sharing a birthday is no big deal now, but it might become a not-so-cool thing when they get a little older. I'm holding out hope that they'll always think it's awesome to share a birthday, but we'll see.

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I've been having trouble with my computer, and somehow managed to make it worse today when I was trying to fix it. The problem is that my job requires me to scour the deep, dark portions of the Internet for 10-30 hours a week, and I undoubtedly pick up too much crap along the way. I thought I had good protection, but it looks like it wasn't good enough. I should not be allowed to own a computer.

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My phone is wonky, too. Even though Jeremy and I got the SAME phone on the SAME day, mine is crap and his is fine. I have problems with the home button, the sound, text messaging, voicemails -- basically all the important stuff. I guess I shouldn't be allowed to own ANY technology.

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I might not be able to use a computer or a phone, but I finally used the egg molds my mom got me a long time ago. A heart-shaped hard boiled egg! I rule! Something super-awesome AND low-tech!

Josephine LOVED making and eating the egg, and she loves when I use the teeny tiny vegetable cutters to make flowers out of cucumbers and other veggies. If she ever becomes a picky eater, this is going to be my first step in getting her interested in food she refuses to eat. Sounds fail-proof. 

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And here are a few pictures just because I like them: