In all Honesty, My Money is on Scenario #3

I have come to the startling conclusion that the child in my womb .... is NOT my child.


I know, I know.  This sounds highly impossible, but stay with me here.


I have been suspecting this for some time now, ESPECIALLY after I realized that the baby detested tomatoes and garlic and would not allow me to eat either.  Ummm ... that is like 50% of my diet.  And any Italian baby would NEVER reject tomatoes or garlic in the womb.  This is highly suspicious, people.  


The baby now also hates lettuce, which I guess could come from Jeremy's wackadoo "I hate vegetables" genes, but I found this suspicious as well.


Finally, the last piece of the puzzle fell into place the other day when I realized ... you will NEVER believe this ... the baby is REFUSING SUGAR. Yes, refined, delicious, fantastic sugar.  She punished me for TWELVE HOURS after eating a cookie and then for another TWELVE HOURS for eating two sour gummi worms (Yes, I knew the sugar is what made me sick the first day and then I repeated the experiment the second day with sour gummi worms because I had to be absolutely sure.  You would too if you loved sugar as much as I do.)


Like I said -- this is the last straw.  This is not my baby that I have been nourishing and sheltering all these long months.  Many of you are probably thinking at this point, "Veronica, how could it NOT be your baby?  Does science work like that?"


Well guess what, folks:  Not everything can be explained by science.  


Here is what I worked out so far.  After some serious consideration, I have narrowed it down to three possible scenarios.


SCENARIO #1:  This is Jeremy and someone else's baby and he is just using me as a free incubator.


Okay, so science is involved in this one.  Without getting into too many details here, I might have someone else's eggs inside me right now.  The big question is, why would Jeremy go to all the trouble when I have eggs of my own?  


Simple.  Jeremy was not impressed with what I had to offer his children genetically, so he found someone more likely than I to give him the super-children he desires.  I always wondered why he claimed to want to have children with me, what with my cavities, history of acne, allergies, "large frame," terrible vision, unstoppable clumsiness, lack of athleticism, anxiety, and teeth that could only be repaired by braces.  


It all makes sense -- he wanted a baby more like him, with 20/20 vision, no cavities, no allergies, He-Man muscle tone, and 2% body fat.

OR

SCENARIO #2:  I have two words for you: ALIEN BABY.


It wouldn't be very hard.  You've seen it a million times in movies, and perhaps even in real life.  I am sleeping soundly (which I do), an alien sneaks in and pops a baby alien inside me.


And it would make SOO much sense, because Jeremy has been onto those aliens all along.  When people say ridiculous things like "It was just a weather balloon" or "Area 51 doesn't exist," Jeremy is right there to defend the existence of his alien friends.  It seems to me that perhaps they are rewarding him for his loyalty with a little alien baby to raise and love.

OR

SCENARIO #3:  Ghost baby.


Okay, I know some people just stopped reading, but I have a great explanation for this one, and I PROMISE you, it is TOTALLY possible. Totes.  


Our landlord SWEARS that this house is haunted (she was nice enough to tell us before we moved in though, in case we were scaredy cats who couldn't handle a little ghost action).  However, we have never witnessed any supernatural behavior, even though we have been totally open to it and have even encouraged it from time to time.  


The ghost just didn't seem to want to meet us, and at first I thought it was because it didn't like us, but NOW I think it is probably because it was lulling us into a false sense of security so it could ENTER MY BODY AND BE REBORN.  This is like the world's smartest ghost.  It's the best idea I can think of if you are stuck in the "in-between" and can't move on.  Instead of moving on, you could go back to earth and start over!  Genius!!


Okay, I need your votes, and I need them pronto, because I need to start investigating and weighing my options.  Comment away people. (Getting comments is the only thing that helps me sleep at night. For realsies.)