But I am. And I think I'm kind of okay with it. I'm sure YOU all are just fine without a weekly post that lists all the fun things happening in my uterus (Hey, my new kid already has fingerprints! But you didn't even know because I forgot to tell you!), and I am still sad that new baby might find this wealth of pregnancy details from Josie and feel neglected, but in reality, the reason it is happening is not because I don't care -- it's just because this is so familiar.
I won't go as far as saying it's easier, because it most certainly is NOT. This kid is just like his or her sister and is giving me quite the time, but with every symptom, I'm like YUP. Yup, I was so sick for three months that I begged for sweet release. Yup, blinding headaches that last for at least a week at a time without giving up. Yup, losing weight even though I produced a rather large stomach in a short amount of time. Yup to feeling lightheaded, exhausted, irritable, and so so sad for no reason. I mean, it happened last time, and Jeremy sweetly promised if I got pregnant again there was no guarantee that I would have as terrible of a pregnancy, but what did I really expect? The same, that's what, and so far, it is painfully familiar but also sweetly familiar.
The only differences, really, are tied to the fact that I have less time to do things than I did last time. This is quite the double-edged sword, as it is good in the sense that I had less time to lay on the couch crying and feeling sorry for myself in the first trimester when I was SURE I was dying, but I also have less time to take care of myself. I have less time to read and read and read and scare the living crap out of myself each time I feel a twinge anywhere NEAR the baby factory, but I have less time to sit and think sweet thoughts about the baby and blog about the love I have for something that is only three inches long.
But man oh man, I really do love this three-inch long baby. And I remember the amazing moment when Josephine entered the world and just feel completely overcome with anticipation, knowing just how wonderful it will be. Last time I was excited beyond belief, but everything was one big question mark. I knew it would be wonderful, but I had no idea just how wonderful it could possibly be, and that knowledge gives me so much more this time around. I have a greater sense of calm, and even thought I knew last time in theory that it would all be so so so worth it, this time I know just how great my reward will be for all this yuck.
As for me and the baby at this moment, I am definitely feeling better. I am still nauseated and tired and achey and all that jazz, but I am much much better than even a few weeks ago. I am down to taking my anti-nausea medication maybe once every other day (I try to save it for when it is REALLY bad), I am eating a wider variety of foods, and I spend much less time curled up into a ball, so that's all good news. However, I am really starting to feel the STRETCHING and my joints are already loosening up, making for a lot of pain (Seriously, do our bodies need to start prepping for delivery this early? It just seems ridiculous to me.). BUT, I am feeling better, so I am happy. Progress, my friends. And I made it to the second trimester! I made it!