I AM HAVING AN ARGUMENT WITH A TOY. ALOUD. VERY ANGRILY.
Wait, let me preface this by saying two things:
1) We are so lucky to be able to have toys for our children. Many more toys than they would ever realistically need.
2) I'm sure many (most?) of you have gotten to the point where you want to go all Office Space on one of your kid's toys EVEN IF IT'S ONE OF HIS OR HER FAVORITES because it has pushed you so far over the edge with its level of annoyingness. I know this is not a new phenomenon. I have a few of those toys.
One day, B. Meowsic Keyboard. One day.
This is way beyond all that. We have an adorable little pretend vacuum (Aside: Toy companies. Make those tiny vacuums FUNCTIONING VACUUMS. Love, Everyone.) (Second aside: Is that really how you spell vacuum? I've never been able to spell it. Don't you think it needs two Cs in there?) that the girls LOVE. It's very cute. Except for the fact that in between making vacuum noises, it has "funny" little quips. At first I was able to ignore them, but yesterday was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
Vacuum: What a pigsty!
Me: Good one. That one gets me every time. Very funny. My housekeeping skills are subpar. HILARIOUS.
Vacuum: *Cough cough* We must clean up the dust!
Me: Right, it's dusty in here because I never clean. I GET IT. SHUT UP ALREADY.
Vacuum: Whoa! Did a tornado blow through here?
Me: You can go STRAIGHT TO HELL, BUDDY. I TRY MY BEST!! *collapses in a puddle of tears*
Vacuum: *dopey laugh*
It's been a long week, you guys.