Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Sexy Time in the News: A New Use for Scissors

People have their own little rituals.  I, for example, have a very specific order in which I use my shower products: 1.  Shampoo, 2.  Conditioner, 3. Shaving products, 4.  Body wash, 5.  Rinse conditioner, 6.  Face Wash.  If I deviate, then I am UNCLEAN and must start over.  Not really, but I get all mad at myself and the day is ruined before it starts.


People have post-coitus rituals as well.  Snuggling, eating, sleeping, stabbing.  You know, the usual.


Yeah, some people stab.  Michelle Thomas, 26, a Texas resident, was not satisfied with a sexual experience provided by her common-law husband on May 4th.  Instead of the silent treatment, she went for the scissors treatment, and began stabbing the crap out of him.  


That must have been one HECK of a disappointing sexual encounter.  I mean, I say I am feeling stabby all the time, but I have yet to cross that threshold into BEING stabby.  And I have never felt stabby after sex.  Maybe I'm just lucky.


Anyway, here are the two best parts:


1.  He refused to press charges.
2.  THIS is her mug shot:




Would you be grinning like that after stabbing your sexually-inadequate common-law husband?  Wait.  Don't answer that question.


At least now I know what neighborhood kid's parents are doing instead of watching him and teaching him about stranger danger.

10 comments:

  1. Oh my god. That is one hawt piece of ass. I'm going to need to go home and um, take care of business now.

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  2. This reminds me of the time I came home after a work out and declared, "I'm getting guns!". The look of fear in Matt's face was priceless.

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  3. Wow the sex must have been really bad!

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  4. All I can say is this: If I ever create some heinour post-sex crime I hope to hell I can be as thrilled as this lady. Just sayin...

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  5. As I scrolled down I was thinking "oooh, wow, what a horrid person" until I got to the mug shot. Now I want to give her a high five for being awesome.

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  6. OK, so I am here from the Tea Party. I am soo glad that you serve alcohol even though you are knocked up and can't have any..that's soo nice of you! This post is actually making my day 1000% better - so thank you! I love that you put her picture up too..I wonder what Loraina Bobbit's picture looked like???

    Danon

    www.insatiablehost.blogspot.com
    www.pantypyramid.blogspot.com

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  7. Hi there, I just came across your page from 20SB, thanks for helping me procrastinate at work. :)

    I must say if I was crazy enough to do what that woman did my face would look that deranged. Hilarious.

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  8. OK, so I am here from the Tea Party. I am soo glad that you serve alcohol even though you are knocked up and can't have any..that's soo nice of you! This post is actually making my day 1000% better - so thank you! I love that you put her picture up too..I wonder what Loraina Bobbit's picture looked like???

    Danon

    www.insatiablehost.blogspot.com
    www.pantypyramid.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow the sex must have been really bad!

    ReplyDelete

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