Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I Also Managed to Spend Time on Facebook. Commendable.

I love New Year's Eve.  I really do.  And not just because it is my wedding anniversary (it was my husband's idea, and DANG if we didn't have a blast at our reception!).  I was recently reading the first installment of Russell Brand's memoir, and he says he hates holidays because he hates feeling like he is being forced to be happy.  I feel the exact opposite way.  Being forced to be happy is awesome.  Everyone is all cheery on the same day and at the same time, and there is champagne and singing and kissing and reminiscing and all kinds of fab.

But there's also that "fresh start" thing.  This is what I hate.  Oh, super, it's a new year!  Let's think about all the terrible things about ourselves and our lifestyles and make a list of ways we are going to fix those things and be a million times better and be perfect and amazing and ... oops.  It's January 2nd.  And I already messed up and my resolution is RUINED and I am NO GOOD and THE WHOLE YEAR IS WASTED BECAUSE I CAN'T IMPROVE MYSELF!!!

It's why I put off writing a "new year" post.  What the H was I supposed to say?  "Here are my resolutions and I am going to stick to them!"  No way, homies.  I quit making the type of resolutions that can be "broken," like working out a certain hours a week, because the first week I mess up, I am so disappointed with myself that I just freak out and give up.  

So this year I decided to be all clever and choose three "qualities" I wanted to embody in 2011, and that way, as long as I am working on them, I was sticking to my resolution.  Genius!  I decided 2011 was going to be about Patience, Planning, and Productivity.  BAM. Bring on 2011.

Except ... all of a sudden it was, like, January 5th.  And so far 2011 had been all about the fourth "P": Procrastination.


It's not too late! I assured myself. Maybe I can think of things I DID do, and just pretend THOSE were my key words, and then I will still be on track! Genius!  AGAIN!

Okay, so there was ... napping.  Not unpacking.  Not grocery shopping. Refusing to put any Christmas stuff away.  Watching Reality TV.  Eating stocking candy.  Refusing to prepare for teaching Winter quarter classes. Holding the baby.  

HOLDING THE BABY!  That is not lazy or foolish!  You HAVE to hold a baby!  If you NEVER hold a baby you get sent to prison for neglect!!  It's official:  2011 is all about holding my baby!  Oh crap ... looks like 2011 is also going to be the year of Not Taking a Shower Unless My Husband Takes the Baby.  

I hope your New Year is less neurotic (and less stinky) than mine! 


  1. I don't want to alarm you, but it's also the Year Your Baby Becomes a Toddler. Keep laughing.

  2. Ha! I have a four month old, and I hear you on the showers. I have to schedule time for them (when my husband can hold the boy) or I go days without. Ew.

  3. Ironmom -- I totally had a panic attack when I read that. Thanks.

    Angela -- Yup. Gross but true.

  4. I don't want to alarm you, but it's also the Year Your Baby Becomes a Toddler. Keep laughing.


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