A few weeks ago we were eating an early dinner in a McDonald's because we had to meet halfway between my job and Jeremy's job to switch off Josephine so Jeremy could take her home and I could leave to teach my night class (confused yet?).
We were having a lovely little quiet dinner and conversation, when an older woman got into our little "bubble" and started talking to Josephine. No big deal, really. Strangers, especially women of "grandma-age," LOVE talking to Josephine. I can't blame them.
This particular woman cooed over her cuteness and her excellent behavior, and then, and then ... well, she made a strange offer.
Woman: Oh, you look like you want some of my ice cream cone! Do you want some of my ice cream cone? You can have my ice cream cone sweet little girl!!! Yes, you can!!! Here, have some!
And yes, then she started trying to hand her ice cream cone THAT SHE HAD BEEN LICKING to my child.
Me: Oh, no, but thank you.
Woman: What? I'm serious! She can have my ice cream! She's looking right at it! She wants it! It's okay! She can have it!
Me: No, no, she doesn't need any ice cream, but thank you so much for the offer.
Woman: How about a spoon? A spoon! BERT! (calling to husband at counter waiting for food) Get a spoon so I can give this baby my ice cream!
Me: No, seriously, she still has dinner to eat.
Woman: A bowl? A bowl! I'll spoon the ice cream into the bowl and she can eat it when she's done with her dinner!
Me: No, I think she's lucky enough to get a few nuggets today. She doesn't need sugar on top of it. But that is so nice of you to offer. *Starting to get very nervous at her persistence.*
Woman: Well, you're just mean, aren't you!?!? (To Josephine) Your mommy's MEAN, isn't she? She won't even let you have this delicious, free, ice cream that you REALLY REALLY want! It's not even that bad for you, is it? NO, IT'S NOT! And IT'S DELICIOUS!
Me: *nervous laughter, averting eyes.*
Woman: You poor little sweet girl! All you want in the world is this ice cream, and she DOESN'T EVEN CARE! You sweet, sweet little girl.
At this point, I just went into full ignoring mode. I couldn't do anymore fake thank yous and laughing at myself. I just couldn't. Eventually Bert got their food, and she left with him, mumbling about the outrageousness of some mothers.
Yes, if being a mother who doesn't let her child share saliva with a total stranger in McDonald's makes me some mother, SIGN ME UP.
Also, what was Jeremy doing this whole time? Eating his food and refusing to make eye contact. What if we had both ignored her and she just started feeding Josephine the ice cream, HUH, Jeremy? What then?