"Is this pee?" (and then I TOUCHED IT)
"NO! If that pickle's been on the floor overnight, then it is NOT for eating ... Oh. You ate it already, huh? Well ... just don't tell anyone."
"Friends don't poke friends in the eye."
"Yes, I'm really serious. You CANNOT suck on the burp rag I used to wipe up the glass of water and cup of coffee you knocked over. I -- give it. Just -- seriously! Hand it over!"
"How long has this spit up been on my shirt?"
"No, Ya Gabba Gabba went to sleep for the day ... GUH! When did you learn how to use Netflix?"
"Is this poop?" (and then I TOUCHED IT)
"No, it's not a 'neck hug,' it's what we call 'choking your sister,' and it has to stop!"
"Well, how much did you pee on it? A lot or a little?"