Thursday, April 25, 2013

When All I Wanted Was Nothing

For a while, I tried to ignore the symptoms. Maybe they would go away, or maybe I was over-reacting. I've been known to over-react, after all.

I finally got the courage to tell Josie's doctor, hoping against hope that she would say, "Oh, that's no big deal. That's not what you fear it is at all!" 

She didn't. She suggested a specialist. So yesterday Josie saw another specialist.

Like she needed to see another specialist in her short life. 

When I told Jeremy and my mom about the appointment, I said, "No, I'm not worried. In all likelihood, she will say it is what we think it is and we need to investigate and will suggest this test, but it's fine. It's really fine. I'm not worried."

Then I sat and talked to that doctor, and she said, "Yes, it is what you think it is, we should investigate, let's get this test scheduled for next week."

That's when I realized for the two months we spent waiting for this appointment and I was telling everyone one thing, what I REALLY REALLY thought, in my heart of hearts, was that I would get to that office and she would say "Ma'am, you have wasted my time. This child is fine. Take her home and tip my office staff on the way out for wasting their time too." 

And she didn't. And I really wanted her to. And I thought she definitely would. 

But she didn't.

Josie's fine. She's not dying. But we need to run some tests and make some decisions. We'll see if it is a THING or just a thing. 

Right now I'm just mourning the fact that I have to choose between a lower-case thing and and all-caps THING and have lost the opportunity for it to be nothing.


If you need something a little lighter after that, I have posts up at Sean Purcell Photography about capturing memories and the merits of wedding planners.

And Josie is seriously fine. Sorry about the vagueness, but ... you know. 


  1. Hi Veronica,

    You don't know me, I'm a student from Paris who found your blog a really long time ago (through Hyperbole and a Half I think), back when you were still pregnant with Josephine, and... well this is a bit weird obviously, because I've been reading your blog ever since (it's a perfect study break) and feel really connected to the whole cast of characters, and you have no idea who I am.

    Long story short, I just wanted to say that I hope everything will be figured out soon for Josephine, and that you have an amazing family which is, quite honestly, a role model for me and how I want my family life to be in the future.

    Thank you for sharing those tidbits from your life and giving me hope!
    Good luck with everything.


    1. Thank you, Melanie. Your comment truly means a lot to me. It means more than you know. Since you didn't leave an e-mail address, I'm hoping you check back here and see this. :)


Every time you leave me a comment, an angel earns its wings.

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