Thursday, July 14, 2011

I'm Getting Really Good at This "Writing" Thing

I don't know what the deal is, but things are really falling apart around here.  It started with my trusty old friend ...

Yes, the hot glue gun.  Can you believe it?  It even had some pink embellishments.  I used that sucker so much I often considered just keeping it in my purse in case I needed to use it on the run.  Seriously.

Then, I tried to make a pot of coffee, like I do EVERY morning, and .... I waited FIVE HOURS.  I unplugged and replugged, pressed buttons frantically, and cried, all to no avail.  I finally gave up and pouted, only to hear it kick on hours later and S-L-O-W-L-Y start brewing.  Not helpful.

Just when I thought nothing else could fall apart that day, I grabbed the upstairs laundry basket to take downstairs.  As I reached in to pull out the laundry, I saw THIS:

Yes, a metal pokey-thing that tried to KILL me.  I told Jeremy we needed to fix it IMMEDIATELY, because what if Josephine pulled the laundry basket over onto herself and the metal thing poked out her eye?!?!?!!?!!  

Well, here's the good news:  I bought a new hot glue gun (it's pink!), Jeremy fixed the laundry basket, AND I had a physical yesterday, and the doctor said I was in EXCELLENT physical condition*.  I know that's totally unrelated, but the coffee maker isn't fixed yet, and my body is one thing that apparently is NOT falling apart in this crap-shack.

*Apparently he chose to ignore the state of my stomach.  He's quite a guy, that doctor.  Also, ALSO, he did NOT tell me that I was a bit over my ideal body weight, so SUCK ON THAT, old doctor!!!!  Yeah, you wanna know why?  Oh, just because my blood pressure, cholesterol, and glucose are all STELLAR.  So, you know, I'm healthy even though I weigh more than 140 pounds.  GASP.  Is that possible?  YES, yes it is.  

Now I don't know how to end this.  I've gone slightly off-track.  Am I right?  Ha.  HA HA.  Okay, so laughing didn't fix it.  Or give me an idea.  Crap.  I thought it might distract you and I could just duck out.  Nope?  Okay.  How about this?  Leave me a comment and tell me one of the following:

1.  Are things falling apart at your house too? 
2.  Did you recently fix something you are really proud of?
3.  Did you recently get good news that you wanted to shove in a medical health professional's face?
4.  Do you want to comment on my lack of focus?  (Well, DON'T)

And there you have it.  Interaction.  Everyone loves that.  Comment away!


  1. I made a really awesome picnic table out of scrap lumber, I had left over after I built the kids swingset 3 years ago, for the wife.

    Does that count?

  2. I love that the periods and hyphens and apostrophes are all hearts in that font. It's totally how I imagine that you write in real life, too.

  3. Aww! AWC! You might not have meant it as a compliment, but I am taking it as one! <3 smooches <3

    (see what I did there for ya?)

  4. CocainemasqueradeJuly 15, 2011 at 2:01 AM

    Lets just say, my entire house is falling apart! Well, my parents house is... And I live there...
    2. I recently fixed, MY TV! My Tv that the repair man said couldn't be fixed... AND I FIXED IT! Me... The 13 year old girl with no training at all... FIXED IT!

    Sorry... I'm proud of fixing it!

    Oh my goodness... What do I want to shove in a doctors face?

    So heres the story. One day I went the the clinic to get tested for Mono, and while I was there, I was weighed. I ended up being 183 pounds.

    The first thing out of my doctors mouth? YOU"RE OBESE!

    And then about a week later (today) I go to a different clinic thats closer to my house, to get my results, where I am once again weighed. The first thing out of my doctors mouth?
    "Jenny dear, you are certainly not obese. You may be 13 years old, and 183 pounds, but you are quite tall!"

    HA! TAKE THAT OLD DOCTOR! My old doctor failed to realize that because I'm rather tall for my age (I'm 5'10, and 13), he called me obese. But my new doctor explained, that in order for myself to remain as healthy as I am, I needed to weigh more, because I'm tall!

    So yeah... I'm pissed off at my old doctor... But im happy now!

    Theres my really long comment story... Have fun with it!

  5. So....I don't fix things. And I haven't gotten good medical news. And so far ::knock on wood:: my house isn't falling apart. But I *did* try my new pilates DVD tonight. And it sucked-I miss my old one and wish it would come back out of hiding!!

  6. Glad to hear your house isn't falling apart!! Sorry about the pilates DVD -- in my opinion, it's hard to find a good one ... pilates is hard! :)

  7. Fixing a TV? You go, girl!!

    I hear ya on the "obese" comments. If you're tall, you need to weigh more, or your tiny stick body would snap in the wind!

  8. ReadwriteloveblogJuly 15, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Um, even though my eye doctor prescribed me bifocals (BIFOCALS- at 28!!!) she said I have 20/20 far sight vision, and my optical nerve is EXCELLENT. Suck on that Husband! Do NOT mock my bifocals again!

  9. Yeah! Suck on THAT, husband! I love saying that ...

  10. CocainemasqueradeJuly 15, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    Another thing, that I unfortunately cant shove in my doctors face, is that my eye doctor prescribed me bifocals... At 13... It made me feel all old, and now my parents keep teasing me about it!

    My response to their teasing?

    "Just remember, I know a nursing home in the area that takes people as young as 40 years old... How old are you mom and dad? 39 and 42? I'd be careful"


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