Friday, September 30, 2011

It's unsettling, but I hit "publish" anyway.

I don't often come across merchandise bizarre enough to dedicate an entire post to ... okay, I take that back. I DID, in fact, make fun of dog butthole covers, pillows for lonely people, and the Booty Pop, but that's all I remember.

And don't go thinking I do this all willy nilly, like "Oh, that's a funny product! I'll just put a picture of it on the ol' blog and call it a day!" NO. The way you are representing me is inaccurate.

I come across weird stuff all the time and don't write about it. See?

Frames made out of RECYCLED ELEPHANT POOP. Seriously. Who thought of his? And who MAKES the frames? And who BUYS them? For the love of GOD, who buys them?!?

Anyway, back to the main point. I found something for you. Something that will leave those poo frames in the dust. Something so strange, so unsettling, that I was speechless. Only momentarily, but speechless nonetheless.

HARK. The Go Girl Female Urination Device.
But, "women can already GO to the bathroom," you say. "Why is a device necessary?"

Yes, yes they can. But, not STANDING UP. And that's where the "Go Girl Female Urination Device" comes in. Have you ever felt the strong desire or even NEED to pee standing up? Me neither. But apparently someone has.

According to the product details, "Go Girl is a simple, sanitary device made from germ-resistant medical-grade silicone that allows women the benefit of going to the bathroom standing up. The easy-to-use device is reusable or disposable and the small storage tube fits easily into a purse or backpack. Go Girl is for actvice, traveling and germ-conscious women who don't have access to a sit-down toilet or who don't want to use unfit facilities."

Okay, let me stop you right there. A few things:

1) "The benefit of going to the bathroom standing up"? There are benefits? Like what? Saving your knees from the strain of bending? I'll take my chances.
2) For women who "don't have access to a sit-down toilet"? SQUAT, honey. It's good for your thighs. You'll thank me later.
3) For women who "don't want to use unfit facilities"? A couple options here: hold it five minutes until you find another toilet, seat covers, or HOVER. Again, the hover move is good for the ol' muscles, and practically counts as cardio (I asked my doctor).
4) "Fits easily in a purse or backpack"? Ah, yes. I don't know how many times I've thought Man, I wish I could pee in something and then put that thing into my purse. The Go Girl team can read my mind.

You still want to pee in a funnel? Then I guess this is the one for you, since it is "made from medical grade silicone that conforms to your body."

Sweet Jesus.

Hey, you, person reading this: Is this one of the weirdest products you have ever seen, or am I just sheltered? Also, if you have similar bizarre finds, SHARE!!


  1. O.M.G. This is definitely one of the weirdest things I have EVER seen. And you had me laughing out loud the whole time. Seriously, the cats were looking at me. Where do you even FIND this stuff?

  2. I know all about the Go Girl, and I WANT ONE. I'll tell you why: PURELY precaution. What if I'm in the middle of nowhere and have to pee? What if I'm in the UP, and the car breaks down, and I have to run into the woods? If I have the Go Girl, there will be far less chance of me peeing on myself, right???? Yes, I think so. They sell these in sporting goods stores for if I'd go camping without a restroom. But still, precaution is the key word here.

  3. Thanks, Amanda. You do NOT want to know how I find these things.

  4. Yes, you have less of a chance of peeing on yourself, but then you're holding a thing you peed in IN YOUR HAND. Yuck. Also, I don't know about you, but I have trouble with cups in doctors' offices, so why wouldn't I have trouble with this?

  5. I have no problem with the cup. I guess I have good aim. ;)

  6. Bahaha! BURN! I get super anxious when I have to use those stupid cups. Either that or you aim IS superior. ;)

  7. Kristina VanSickleOctober 1, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    I heard about these crazy female urination devices. It does make since if you are camping or something and there are no toilets around. But I would think you would want to connect a tube to the funnel to get the pee flowing away from you. I had to pee on the ground once it sucks when it splashes on your shoes!

  8. I'm for the idea of making it easier to pee while camping, but this funnel device doesn't seem to be it... it still points straight down. If they want to make it easier, we need hose action so we can point it anywhere... and the "storage" after is questionable. I don't have any trouble with doctor cups so this would work, especially because I DO have trouble not getting pee on me or my clothes/shoes when squatting in the wilderness... close, but no cigar.

  9. Agreed. I am sure it would make peeing a little easier to have the device plus a tube ... but it's still just weird. Also, the storage issue. And if they were disposable, I don't see it jiving with the morals of the nature-types who are out camping all the time.

  10. Veronica, I first saw this in a HILARIOUS commercial from australia.. it's called, how to get rid of a 1 night stand and features this standing up peeing for women cup. HILARIOUS. Can't believe you've never seen this!!

  11. OH. MY. GAWD. No, I never saw that. Hysterical!!


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