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CLASSY.
It truly made me wish I was back in elementary school and could buy one of those boxes of cheap Valentine's Day cards to hand out to all of my friends. But not really, because I couldn't pass these out to eight-year-olds.
Or could I? You never know with kids these days. I mean, some of them have probably watched Jersey Shore more times than I have. Those kids would totally appreciate the humor. And the rest of them? Well, they wouldn't understand and would take the attached sucker and throw the card away, so, no harm, no foul, right?
Anyway, it inspired me to find some not-so-serious Valentine's Day gifts. And I think I have some winners for you. (And all those who actually know that there aren't enough days to have these shipped in time for Valentine's Day -- SHUT IT. This post is still relevant.)
Giant Wine Glass, $14.99 from www.perpetualkid.com
I can guarantee this would be the way to many a woman's heart. Women I know. Maybe even me. I mean, NOT me ... I'm pregnant. So ...
Okay, next gift!
2 Carat Cup, $14.49 from www.perpetualkid.com
Your wedding ring not big enough for you? Well, you can pretend to be a Real Housewife of Orange County (or New York, or Atlanta, or whatever. I don't discriminate.) with every sip of your morning coffee. Important note for men: Do not, do NOT buy this in lieu of an actual ring. It will NOT be as funny as it sounds in your head.
I always love the selection of "Anti-Valentine's" gifts. And you know you love them too.
Magic Frog to Prince, $4.95 from www.baronbob.com
Still looking for the right man? Want to pretend that fairy tales exist? Have we got your man! And a steal on clearance for under five bucks!
Better than a Boyfriend Soap, $7.99 from www.perpetualkid.com
At first I didn't ... GET this soap. I mean, just reading the title, well, AHEM, I had some curious ideas and was afraid it might be a little racy for this site (I mean, I do assume that you all read these posts to your children as bedtimes stories. Right? RIGHT?), but then I read the description and about died!
It leaves you smelling lovely, feeling soft and beautiful, and there's no emotional scarring! Now, show us a boyfriend who does all that! Use this soap and use it good ... then move on to another one!
The Ex Voodoo Knife Set, $69.99, from www.perpetualkid.com
This one kills me. Better than a voodoo doll, because this is also very practical! Stress relief and knife storage all in one. Priceless. It even has a 25-year manufacturer's warranty, so it is guaranteed to get you through 25 years of anger at exes! Amazing!
And finally, if you dare, a list of eight gifts -- a few funny, a few ridiculous, and a few ... well. You know. (This is the part where you end the bedtime story, tuck your kids in, and enjoy this elsewhere.) But I bet you haven't seen these before!: 8 Unusual Valentine's Day Gifts
Happy Valentine's Day, no matter how you choose to spend it!
The knife set is genius.
ReplyDeleteSmells better! I love it.
ReplyDelete