Monday, February 15, 2010

The Word "Pact" Means Nothing to My Husband, But at Least the Vows Took.

Since I am still a total wet blanket and dying of pregnancy, my husband and I made a deal to keep Valentine's Day low-key.  More specifically, I made him SWEAR that he would get me absolutely NOTHING (Other than the obligatory card.  We are card people. Deal with it.).  

I thought he was on board with all of this, seeing as we are having a baby AND totally destitute, but I still checked in on him on more than five occasions.

"You PROMISE you didn't get me anything?"
"You SWEAR on your surround sound that you have NOTHING planned?"

So I felt pretty confident that my perfect card would be a hit, seeing as it would be part of an equal exchange.  WRONG.  Here is what a pact to do NOTHING looks like:


Red roses, placed by my bed so they were the first thing I saw when I woke up.


A plate a hand-dipped strawberries (in DARK chocolate, since milk chocolate makes me vom) left in the fridge for me to find while Husband was at work, along with a note that said "Valentine's Day snack.  I love you."


My favorite meal in take-out form so I wouldn't get all stabby in a restaurant packed full of people.  With candlelight and music and a fire in the fireplace.

Does this look like NOTHING to you?  Now, before you get all mad at me and start shouting things about how I don't appreciate all the loving and didn't properly swoon over all this, please consider this:  All I had to give this man in return was a lousy card.

Granted, the card was perfect, and I found it four weeks ago and was all psyched and bought it and hid it (and then spent two hours this morning trying to remember WHERE I hid it), but it was still just a card.

I swear, this man is always doing this.  He does wonderful romantic things, but makes me feel like a fool.  Like the Christmas where he bought me a TV AND a digital camera (seriously).  Or the next Christmas where we made a pact to only spend $25 on each other to come down from our wild spending.  Yeah, that year he gave me $25 worth of presents, and THEN brought out pearls.  And when people asked me what I got him, I had to say a DVD and the argyle socks he wanted.  How embarrassing.  

This man is wonderful and amazing, but he needs to quit making fake pacts and letting me spend as much time and effort on him as he does on me.

Fake pacts.  I should take him to court.  For giving me romance.  That'll show him.


  1. How DARE he!?!?! Those strawberries do look good, though!

  2. I think he just took out an insurance policy...just in case he got called out for NOT getting anything...not that you would do that to him...but better to err on THIS side of the pact than the other side. Hey, I been married a long time, I know these things!

  3. What a dick. You should give him two "favors" just to balance it out. That'll teach him.

  4. Face it now -- you are married to a man against whom you "cannot win." He'll outbuy you at Chrismas, he'll invent a holiday so he can give you that whatever-it-is he saw he knew you'd love, and he'll break "cards only" pacts. Go with the flow. I've never "won" in 28 years, but I'm finally learning to enjoy it....

  5. Why do husbands have to ruin pacts by being sweet and romantic? God it's maddening!

  6. It seems to me that this is a competition, and he is winning. Which means you are losing. No one wants to be second place. You need to step your game up, and give him something BIG...something he couldn't NEVER match...something...oh, you said you were having a baby? BAM! You just won. P.S. An Xbox might keep you in first place the next time he's all, "I didn't get you anything." A baby and an Xbox. That should hold you over for a while.

  7. How DARE he!?!?! Those strawberries do look good, though!


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