Well, guess what? You're wrong.
My dog is the sweetest, most polite, docile dog. She is also very in tune with us. If we are just chillaxing, she just chillaxes with us. If we want her to run around and entertain us, she does so, and then as soon as we are done, she is calm and done. When I'm crying, she's there to snuggle me and look me in the eye, asking me if I am okay. If I'm sick, she sticks to me like glue, and is my little nurse dog. She is amazing.
We see a lot of this:
And this:
And this:
But I was wrong. Things changed this morning. Now, I think my dog ... thinks I am lame.
It all started when I noticed her face looked different. Like, maybe she was bored. But that was silly, so I put it out of my mind.
But then instead of chilling by my feet, she started looking up at me expectantly, like this:
And I was like, "What? I'm not lame. ... I'm NOT!" So I had this awesome plan to make a huge list of all the reasons I am NOT lame. But I had some struggles. Instead, I decided to take her outside to our snow apocalypse in the back yard so she could bound around and play. Would a lame person do that? I think not.
She had a ball. The pictures are really bad, but I have a hard time keeping up with her. She loves snow so much!
But then after we came in, she just stood there, like, "ummmm ... was that it? What next?"
And I was like, "Exsqueeze me dog? We just spent twenty minutes running in snow drifts. You get two walks a day, play time, snuggle time, and grooming time, not to mention the HOURS I spend telling you you are a pretty dog and an angel dog and pretty pretty princess. And now you are calling me lame?"
So, I wrote this, and she got sick of waiting for me to entertain her and is sleeping on the floor again. If this keeps up, I have no idea how to be a more exciting dog owner.
UPDATE: Okay, I just figured out why this was bothering me: If I can't properly entertain a DOG, how will I entertain a CHILD???
UPDATE: Okay, I just figured out why this was bothering me: If I can't properly entertain a DOG, how will I entertain a CHILD???
Well, here's the thing...the child will entertain YOU.
ReplyDeleteJust wait until the kid is 5...cute, sweet, adorable...then..BAM they will be 13! And you will have a Devil Child that ignores you, and everything you do will embarrass the kid. And then will come the sweet moments where they suddenly revert back to being the darling gift of your loins that you have missed so much.
What an ungrateful bitch.
ReplyDeletehahahahaha
I had a dog just like that and when she finally left me a few years ago she was 14 years old. Funny thing was that when I got pregnant she changed. All of a sudden she would look at me like she was expecting something and I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on with her. When I had my daughter she was super jealous when I brought her home and she seemed to hate the baby. On the third night home we had a really bad night and I was tired and flustered and baby was screaming. I put my daughter down on the couch surrounded by pillows to keep her safe so I could get something. She was screaming and the dog walked up to her and put her head gently on the baby's tummy and she stopped crying. The dog turns around and looks at me like "That's how you do it moron!". I felt like an inch tall. But, ever since that day she loved my daughter like her own and she went back to being her old self again. Maybe your doggie is "expecting"....
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet story, Ink Spiller! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this Vero, and I have to say I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteYou do have the best dog in the world. LOOK at that good dog! What a good dog. Cleo! You are a good dog.
Good dogs do have high expectations. That doesn't mean, though, that they grudge you for it. They cut cha some slack.
I had a dog just like that and when she finally left me a few years ago she was 14 years old. Funny thing was that when I got pregnant she changed. All of a sudden she would look at me like she was expecting something and I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on with her. When I had my daughter she was super jealous when I brought her home and she seemed to hate the baby. On the third night home we had a really bad night and I was tired and flustered and baby was screaming. I put my daughter down on the couch surrounded by pillows to keep her safe so I could get something. She was screaming and the dog walked up to her and put her head gently on the baby's tummy and she stopped crying. The dog turns around and looks at me like "That's how you do it moron!". I felt like an inch tall. But, ever since that day she loved my daughter like her own and she went back to being her old self again. Maybe your doggie is "expecting"....
ReplyDeleteWell, here's the thing...the child will entertain YOU.
ReplyDeleteJust wait until the kid is 5...cute, sweet, adorable...then..BAM they will be 13! And you will have a Devil Child that ignores you, and everything you do will embarrass the kid. And then will come the sweet moments where they suddenly revert back to being the darling gift of your loins that you have missed so much.