So Much Unwanted Information ...

The other day, I was minding my own business, doing my best at growing the baby in a healthy and stress-free womb, when I got THIS e-mail:

That's right, babycenter.com wants to let me know what labor really feels like.  


I know what you're thinking.  This must be a joke, right?  No one would actually send me an e-mail and offer to describe what it will be like to give birth in gory, visceral details.  Well, someone did.

Hey, babycenter.com, how about instead I just go with the information I already have and just assume that it is the worst thing in the entire world, and you spare me the details.  And maybe just let me try to NOT THINK ABOUT IT UNTIL I ACTUALLY HAVE TO.  Wouldn't that be kind?  Try it.  Try a little kindness.


For some reason, I didn't unsubscribe to these e-mails.  I mean, when I first went to the website, there was this awesome forum where people would put up a few baby names they had picked for their child and ask you to vote for your favorite, and there was a section for COMMENTS.  Like, they were opening themselves up to comments about the possible ramifications of naming their child Rheeahannah (seriously).  I spent like three whole days on that sucker. 


So I didn't unsubscribe because they allow me to make anonymous comments about people's life choices (HEAVENLY) and they sometimes send me useful information, and I got another e-mail from them today.  They tricked me this time.  The subject was all informational ("What you need to know about emergency c-sections"), so I opened it.  


This is what I got:

Yeah.  So I clicked on it.  I figured it couldn't be THAT bad.  I have seen scars before.  I have even seen c-section scars before.  What I got was a fun little trip from brand-new staples to infected incisions, to 3-year old scars that looked brand-new.  


But that wasn't the bad part.  A lot of the ladies felt the need to show most or ALL of their ... eh hem ... unkempt bikini areas in the photos.  Which were a good six inches below the scars.  Seriously.  I mean, if someone asked to take a picture of a scar on your neck, would you yank off your shirt and be sure to include your naked boobies in the picture?  I bet you would.  You freak.  Well, I wouldn't. 

And you know what?  I could have scarred you for life and included some of those pictures in this post.  But I DIDN'T.  So, you're WELCOME.

I need to go unsubscribe from that mailing list.