Thursday, April 7, 2011

Now All I Can Think About is Eating Rainbow Cheesecake.

I don't about you, but the sidebar ads in facebook ... where to begin?  Sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes they make me vom, and sometimes they make me angry.  Mostly, they just make me confused.


The most confusing part of it all is that these ads are supposed to be "tailored" to me based on things I say and do on facebook.  Let's take a gander at some of the beauties that popped up this past week.

They're right!  Cheesecake IS funny!  I am totes rotfl right now!

Oh yeah, those nails look H-O-T hot.  Love 'em.
 
But wait, let's take a closer look at those monstrosities:

Seriously?  THIS was the best mail model you could find?  One with a bashed in fingernail that has blood pooled under it?  I wonder if that sucker fell off after the shoot.  Guh.  Yeah, sign me up for those "spa's" (yeah, that would be one spa possessing something, not more than one spa.  SIGH.).

Wow, there are a lot of amazing things to do in Lansing before I die!  A tilty building!  How is it that I've never seen that before?  Hmmm, curious.

Umm, yeah ... I've definitely looked up in the sky before.  And the sky in Lansing?  Doesn't contain anything of the sort.  I'm beginning to think these ads don't have accurate photos! 

Now that tears it.  If there were a taco that large in Lansing, I would have already eaten it.  Maybe two.

Hang on a tick -- If I drive one hour to the west I can see a PIGLET IN RAINBOOTS????  Holy schnikes.

We get it, facebook.  I'm fat.  Move along now.

Now that's not even a little funny.  The weight watchers back-to-back with the cheesecake?  Okay, maybe it's a little representative of my eating habits.  WHAT-ever.

 Now it's official:  facebook doesn't know me at ALL.
I call them "the LADIES," thank you very much.

Although, now that I think of it, none of this was as bad as when I got a bazillion "plan your wedding" ads BEFORE I was engaged (not cool, facebook) or when I was wishing and hoping to get pregnant and fifty bajillion ads popped up with baby crap (doubly not cool, facebook).  

Moral of the story?  Facebook ads are there to make your heart break and your head explode.  And apparently Mark Zuckerburg is an evil little toad. 

The End.  Great story, right?

6 comments:

  1. I love the things you can do ads, and NONE are in the place you are. in fact, it said things you can do in Gaithersburg and it showed a pic of niagara falls, pretty sure that's not here...

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  2. I always have a ton of baby ads. I neither have, nor want a baby. I'm pretty sure I don't talk about babies, and don't really even say the word "baby" on my page. I think my mom put them up to it. Stupid Facebook ads.

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  3. I vote for the part about Mark Zuckerberg :)

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  4. Um, I hate to say it, but that's not a bashed in nail. It's the MOUSE who is eating the Swiss cheese that all the other nails are done as. Of course, I'm not sure which is worse.....

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  5. Delina -- I know! It's so bizarre!

    MayLove -- I totally believe it. Moms are insane like that. :)

    Amanda -- :)

    Salome Ellen -- nailed it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love the things you can do ads, and NONE are in the place you are. in fact, it said things you can do in Gaithersburg and it showed a pic of niagara falls, pretty sure that's not here...

    ReplyDelete

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