My husband is like the funniest guy on the planet. So, every once and a while, I salute him. Like today. To see all volumes of Funny Stuff My Husband Says, click here.
SCENE: IN BED. JEREMY IS SLEEPING. I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE OF MY @#($*@*! SINUS INFECTION.
Me: *COUGH* (partially muffled, trying to be as quiet as possible)
Jeremy: *In one motion, flips to face me, and jumps up into a crouching position on the bed, arms out in front of him* WHAT?!?!?!
Me: I was coughing. Sorry.
Jeremy: I thought there was danger!
Me: Yeah. You jumped up like Spiderman.
Jeremy: *Laying back down, rolling over, closing eyes* Yeah. That's just a little bonus for ya.
SCENE: WATCHING TV. AN OLD NAVY COMMERCIAL COMES ON ADVERTISING THESE SHORTS:
Jeremy: UGH! What is wrong with those shorts???
Me: Huh?
Jeremy: They are so ugly!
Me: Oh.
Jeremy: ... unnnlessss YOU like them. In that case, they're fine. I mean, nice. Beautiful. I love them.
SCENE: DRIVING. I LAUGH AT SOMETHING HE SAYS AND SHAKE MY HEAD. CLEARLY HE IMAGINES I AM MENTALLY MAKING A NOTE OF IT TO SHARE ON THE BLOG, AND SAYS:
Jeremy: You know, I'm gonna start writing down the funny things YOU say!! We'll see who gets the last laugh then!
I don't use Spiderman's moves. My wife's "bonus" is just getting to lay next to me.
ReplyDeleteImpossible, I'm Spiderman
ReplyDeleteOops. I meant to say, "You jumped up like Elliot." Sorry, dude.
ReplyDelete