Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Funny Stuff My Husband Says, Vol. XII

My husband is like the funniest guy on the planet.  So, every once and a while, I salute him.  Like today.  To see all volumes of Funny Stuff My Husband Says, click here.



SCENE:  IN BED.  JEREMY IS SLEEPING.  I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE OF MY @#($*@*! SINUS INFECTION.
Me: *COUGH* (partially muffled, trying to be as quiet as possible)
Jeremy:  *In one motion, flips to face me, and jumps up into a crouching position on the bed, arms out in front of him* WHAT?!?!?!
Me:  I was coughing.  Sorry.
Jeremy:  I thought there was danger!
Me:  Yeah.  You jumped up like Spiderman.
Jeremy:  *Laying back down, rolling over, closing eyes*  Yeah.  That's just a little bonus for ya.


SCENE:  WATCHING TV.  AN OLD NAVY COMMERCIAL COMES ON ADVERTISING THESE SHORTS:

Jeremy:  UGH!  What is wrong with those shorts???
Me:  Huh?
Jeremy:  They are so ugly! 
Me:  Oh.
Jeremy: ... unnnlessss YOU like them.  In that case, they're fine.  I mean, nice.  Beautiful.  I love them.


SCENE:  DRIVING.  I LAUGH AT SOMETHING HE SAYS AND SHAKE MY HEAD.  CLEARLY HE IMAGINES I AM MENTALLY MAKING A NOTE OF IT TO SHARE ON THE BLOG, AND SAYS:
Jeremy:  You know, I'm gonna start writing down the funny things YOU say!!  We'll see who gets the last laugh then!

3 comments:

  1. I don't use Spiderman's moves. My wife's "bonus" is just getting to lay next to me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oops. I meant to say, "You jumped up like Elliot." Sorry, dude.

    ReplyDelete

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