Some of you already know this about me, some of you may have guessed it from the boxes on my page, and some of you may have pieced this together because of all the pictures of my pets in my posts: I am an animal LOVER.
People supposedly have "passions" in life. I never knew what mine was. There was no perfect career for me because I didn't have that one thing I loved enough to make it my "thing." Like, you know how some people have that one bumper sticker on their car? I imagine it was easy for them to choose what to display because it is their passion in life (I know this is not heavy philosophical stuff and pretty obvious, but play along here). The person with a band bumper sticker is a music fanatic, the person with a bumper sticker bashing Bush is passionate about politics, and the person with the "This car could be a Porsche if I didn't own a horse!" bumper sticker -- yeah, passionate about horses. The thing is, I could never commit to ONE bumper sticker. I didn't have a ONE THING.
But then I finally realized -- it's animals. I definitely like animals more than people. I love my animals so much they make me cry sometimes (much to my husband's chagrin and horror). When we watch movies, not only do we HAVE to stay in the theater until the "No animals were harmed in the making of this film" statement, but I cry when animals are hurt in the films.
If we are watching a battle scene where people are getting brutally slaughtered left and right and then ONE horse gets hurt ... I FUH-REAK. Jeremy is like, "what about all the people who are getting fake hurt?" Oh please. Those people chose to be there. The animals were forced. And animals don't want to participate in war!!! They are innocent and beautiful and wonderful and they don't deserve to be treated like machinery!!!!
So, anyway, I am an animal freak. And I swear this post has a point.
While I love animals, I have not always been such a fan of bugs. However, I have trained myself to not be a hypocrite and tolerate bugs. They are living things and just trying to live their lives and do their jobs. So I really try not to kill bugs. Now, most creepy crawlies don't bother me, but arachnids and centipedes still make me lose my shit. I have found a loophole there: I make my husband kill them and I close my eyes. If I don't see it, it may never have happened, right?
This morning, however, I had a little set back. I have been kind to ants for quite a few years now. I cannot remember the last time I killed one. Maybe it is because we don't have excessive ants in our house, but it is not really an issue. This morning, however, I was putting away dishes from the draining rack and saw an ant WALKING ON ONE OF MY PLATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At first I tried to reason with the ant. I was like, "Hey, ant. How about going outside? I don't want you spreading germs in my house, okay?" No response. In fact, it moved on to a glass and started crawling around. This took me from zero to one hundred in a second. I picked up a tub of margarine and shouted at the ant through clenched teeth, "Do you realize I now have to wash EVERY DISH IN THIS HOUSE because I am PSYCHOTIC and it is ALL BECAUSE OF YOU??" When the ant ignored me -- SMASH! Still alive. SMASH! Writhing around in pain. I felt bad for a second, but ... SMASH! Better to put it out of its misery, right?
So, now I am officially a killer of living things. Where will it go from here? Should I just go ahead and start operating a factory farm? Is this who I have become? Maybe instead of starting the factory farm I'll just start shouting for Jeremy every time I see an ant.
Okay, I just told him my new plan to call for him every time I see an ant, and he said, "Good lord. I don't think so." Thanks a lot HUSBAND. I am pretty sure you are breaking one of our vows. Look it up.
Ants are ugh! I had one crawl on my foot in the lving room, then another (or maybe the same one!) was on the kitchen counter. I found out they were after my little bear honey pot. It made me thnk of the book Two Bad Ants...but I got rid of them anyway. Buy some Boric Acid from a pharmacy and when you find out if they are after sugar,grease or protein I will tell you how to mix a little cocktail for them...
ReplyDeleteOh man...we get ants EVERY summer and I have no idea where they come from. So every summer I am an absolute schizo when it comes to cleaning because it freaks me out. I have to put out the ant killer stuff which I think is also gross, but it's better than washing everything every day. Ew.
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny! I'm a huge animal person too (obviously...see "about me" on my blog!), and I feel the same about arachnids. They TERRIFY me. I've called my husband to get a spider the size of a grain of rice because "it was going to eat my soul!!".
ReplyDeleteOne time, I tried to reason with a bug too. It was my first day at college, and I was there early for band camp (no jokes, please). I got back to my dorm room that night, and there was a giant freakin cockroach sitting on my tv screen. I told him "I have no food here for you - I haven't even eaten in here yet. Please go away." and went to bed (I was way too tired to remove him from my 3rd floor room). I got up the next morning and he was gone, and I never saw another cockroach in that room, which is amazing because they are *everywhere* in Auburn. So, it seems certain bugs will listen to reason :)
This morning I SCREAMED at 7 am because a very large SPIDER was dangling in the air right in front of my face. IT DOVE AT ME! I requested its execution immediately. Spiders DESERVE TO DIE.
ReplyDeleteI also made Alan come home from work early to bug bomb a million (okay, maybe like 200) spiders that were crawling all over the siding.
Where there is one ant, there will be more!
I'm exactly the same way! I refuse to kill bugs because I feel bad, but I'm definitely terrified of them. Luckily, my six month old dog LOVES to eat them, so the fact that I'm slightly terrified of flying bugs (moths, butterflies, etc) is calmed by the fact that she will attack them and eat them for me.
ReplyDeleteMom -- but that's the problem: I don't REALLY want to kill them. I would imagine them slowly dying from the poison as they stumbled home to their families.
ReplyDeleteSAS -- Yeah, but ... maybe I can get Jeremy to put out the poison and not tell me where it is or that he did it, and then I won't feel compliant.
Lisa -- I can't believe you reasoned with a cockroach. I have tried reasoning with bugs for years, to no avail.
Melissa -- Jeremy usually carries the spiders out of the house to safety. So sweet, but then I stay up all night imagining them crawling back into the house and laying eggs in my bed.
lilliebean -- My cat takes care of the flies and the moths, but both my cat and dog draw the line at most creepy crawlies.
As an animal love...did you see the Richard Gere film "Hackiko"? I saw it on a plane and spent the last 45 minutes crying uncontrollably...tears just streaming down my face...just as dinner was served. My friend was watching it without the sound, and she was even sobbing!
ReplyDeleteAs an animal love...did you see the Richard Gere film "Hackiko"? I saw it on a plane and spent the last 45 minutes crying uncontrollably...tears just streaming down my face...just as dinner was served. My friend was watching it without the sound, and she was even sobbing!
ReplyDeleteAnts are ugh! I had one crawl on my foot in the lving room, then another (or maybe the same one!) was on the kitchen counter. I found out they were after my little bear honey pot. It made me thnk of the book Two Bad Ants...but I got rid of them anyway. Buy some Boric Acid from a pharmacy and when you find out if they are after sugar,grease or protein I will tell you how to mix a little cocktail for them...
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny! I'm a huge animal person too (obviously...see "about me" on my blog!), and I feel the same about arachnids. They TERRIFY me. I've called my husband to get a spider the size of a grain of rice because "it was going to eat my soul!!".
ReplyDeleteOne time, I tried to reason with a bug too. It was my first day at college, and I was there early for band camp (no jokes, please). I got back to my dorm room that night, and there was a giant freakin cockroach sitting on my tv screen. I told him "I have no food here for you - I haven't even eaten in here yet. Please go away." and went to bed (I was way too tired to remove him from my 3rd floor room). I got up the next morning and he was gone, and I never saw another cockroach in that room, which is amazing because they are *everywhere* in Auburn. So, it seems certain bugs will listen to reason :)