Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Oh, Sammy W. We're all Winners When I Get to Shop.

Have you ever had a moral dilemma about spending a gift card?  Yeah, me neither, because, hello -- FREE MONEY.  That is, until my mom gave me a gift card to Wal-Mart.


Yes, the dreaded Wal-Mart.  No matter how you feel about Wal-Mart, you have undoubtedly heard about the evil corporate policies that destroy lives all over the world (not that I'm taking sides or anything), and some obviously shop there to enjoy savings and convenience while others would rather stew in a pot of lava than shop there (you'll never guess to which group I belong).

So, yeah, we don't shop at Wal-Mart, but when my mom gave me this gift card that she had also gotten for free from someone, I realized that the thing I thought was the worst option -- going to Wal-Mart and buying things -- was actually what I MUST do.

Let me break it down for you:  Someone had already spent $25 at Wal-Mart to buy that gift card, but had gotten nothing in return.  Therefore, if someone received that gift card and never used it (as is often the case), then ... WAL-MART WINS.  And what do I NOT want?  That's right, a winning Wal-Mart.

But of course, as I pulled into the parking lot the other day and saw the sprawling building next to its sister-building, Sam's Club, I realized there was a whole other layer to this onion of a Wal-Mart problem.  Sigh.  Some of you might already know that I met my amazing, wonderful, fantastic husband while we were both working at ... Sam's Club.  A division of Wal-Mart.  Oh, the horrors.  And yes, it was just as horrible as you might imagine, as I was a cashier at a place that tricks people into filling their carts with things that weigh 50 pounds on average, but that's a whole different post.  Let's not dwell.  

The existential crisis looming in front of me was that if I had not been so hard-up for a job 10 years ago, I would not have applied at Sam's Club and I NEVER WOULD HAVE MET MY HUSBAND, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WHO GAVE ME MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER!!!  Sam Walton ... gave me the best thing in my life??  *mind blowing*

Alright, I guess in we go.  Side note:  I brought my camera hoping to catch some beauties like these, but I got too scared to take pictures of people.  And do you have any idea what kind of strange looks you get taking a picture of the building you're about to walk into?  I'M the strange one?  This day is taking a real turn.

Going to Wal-Mart was DEFINITELY the way to go, because had we not gone, we would have missed out on the awesomeness that is Wal-Mart, like their MASSIVE selection of children's books ...
(Bible stories and coloring books?  Wal-Mart knows how to appeal to the masses)

The wide array of toys for children under 24-months old ...
(my head is spinning with all the choices!)
The wildlife ...
(I don't care who you are -- a bug AND a glass diffuser bottle for only $2.00?  That's a straight-up deal, y'all.)

And what I can only imagine is a doll you buy for your daughter to make her feel better after she cuts her own hair and has to go to school looking like a street urchin ...
(I don't want to be a little mommy to this kid!)

Wait, but WAIT!  Here's the best part:  When I got home, I looked in the bottom of my bag and found THIS:

Yup!  Gotcha, Wal-Mart!  You PAID me to take these things home with me:

bath-time safety!
bath-time fun!
the only socks that stay on my baby's feet!

Who's the winner now, big W? 


  1. No WAY!

    I never get money BACk from Wally World.

    I just lose my sense there.

  2. I don't go to Wal-Mart nearly as much as I used to, but I have to admit that I go to Sam's all the time. Mostly because I have a bunch of bunnies that can eat a 6-pack of romaine hearts in less than a week...but hey, they're cute!


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