Tuesday, April 12, 2011

How Is It That I'm Still Poor?

Remember the other day when I was making fun of my facebook sidebar ads and I was like, why is someone with a bashed-in nail holding her swiss cheese manicure over some pumpkins?   Well, two of my whip-smart readers either have better vision or better imaginations (likely both) and were like, Dude, Veronica, that is a MOUSE eating her cheese-tipped fingernails!  And Courtney and Salome Ellen, you are so right. 
The answer to the above question = mouse on a fingernail.  How could I not have seen that coming?  I even found a better picture online of some similar nail work.


My favorite part, other than the holes drilled in the nail tips, are those googly eyes on the mouse. I mean, mice are ADORABLE.  Why would you NOT want one on your fingernail?  Look!  Mouse eating cheese!  Cuuuuute.


I mean, I assume with the holes and the eyes that they were going for a life-like feel.  But why stop at an adorable mouse?  I want an adorable CAT on my manicure!


Awwww, look at him!  Just eating his little mouse friend.  Maybe they met in the salon.  Hee hee. I would probably ask the manicurist for some entrails, however.  You know I am a slave to realism!

While we're on the subject of cats, why not go for the best of the best?  I want the king of the jungle on MY nails!


It's like these images get cuter and cuter as I go along!  I swear, all those people who told me over and over that I was a creative genius?  They were SO right.  I mean, watch this:  I have MORE ideas.

Don't stop with your feline friends -- get a DOG manicure!


That little scamp.  Eating his own poop.  CLASSIC.


You know what animal I really like?  BEARS! 




What a little sweetie!

How about we just end this and skip right to the ultimate eater?  Mr. Vulture, you are SUPER CUTE.


Animals eating.  I think I'm onto something here.  Stay tuned for my Etsy shop where I sell press-on nails, custom painted with animals eating things.  They will scream "I love animals and I love eating!  I am fun fun fun!"

It's a billion dollar idea.


image sources: manicure, mouse, cat, lion, dog, bearvulture

6 comments:

  1. Why would anyone A- Want cheese fingernails? B- Want holes drilled in their expensive fake nails to look more "authentically" like cheese?? C- Want to top the whole thing off with a mouse eating your cheese nails?
    I'm going to guess that C was to drive home the point that they are cheese nails (which clearly was ineffective). If you need to paint a MOUSE on your nails to explain to people that your nails are supposed to be cheese...you shouldn't have cheese nails!
    No, you know what? You JUST shouldn't have cheese nails. No cheese nails. Period.

    ReplyDelete
  2. those cheesey nails look too lifelike and i'm worried i would start nibbling my own fingers off if i had them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I used to volunteer at a raptor rehab center, and I was nearly barfed upon by a vulture. True story. It's their first line of defense, because they don't want to get close enough to you to use their claws. And it's the worst. barf. ever.

    But, that's beside the point-I think you should patent your idea ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. MayLove -- I could not agree more.

    YLIDHAG -- even with the mouse there?

    Lisa -- Umm, yeah. That would be the worst bark ever. Never thought about that.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I used to volunteer at a raptor rehab center, and I was nearly barfed upon by a vulture. True story. It's their first line of defense, because they don't want to get close enough to you to use their claws. And it's the worst. barf. ever.

    But, that's beside the point-I think you should patent your idea ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Why would anyone A- Want cheese fingernails? B- Want holes drilled in their expensive fake nails to look more "authentically" like cheese?? C- Want to top the whole thing off with a mouse eating your cheese nails?
    I'm going to guess that C was to drive home the point that they are cheese nails (which clearly was ineffective). If you need to paint a MOUSE on your nails to explain to people that your nails are supposed to be cheese...you shouldn't have cheese nails!
    No, you know what? You JUST shouldn't have cheese nails. No cheese nails. Period.

    ReplyDelete

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