Based on my calculations (which look something like this -- amount of horrific symptoms / weeks gestation X my ability to handle said symptoms = evilness of baby), I assume my baby currently looks a little like this:
Or this:
Or, perhaps, even this:
Saturday, January 2, 2010
I Have Nothing Interesting to Say Because the Baby Growing Inside Me is Slowly Killing Me
This has been me for the last few days:
Except when my mother and husband convinced me it would be good for me to get some fresh air and exercise by walking the dog. This resulted in me puking in a neighbor's front yard and then running home crying. Success.
Based on my calculations (which look something like this -- amount of horrific symptoms / weeks gestation X my ability to handle said symptoms = evilness of baby), I assume my baby currently looks a little like this:
Or this:
Based on my calculations (which look something like this -- amount of horrific symptoms / weeks gestation X my ability to handle said symptoms = evilness of baby), I assume my baby currently looks a little like this:
Or this:
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Veronica. I care. And that "I" should be bolded. And seriously, if your baby looks like the last photo, you should seriously consider some security tag swapping at the hospital. ..... not that the 1st 2 were especially appealing. But, I thought I was slowly dying, too .... and look how beautiful Emmy turned out. (God rest her tiny little soul) Who knew the devil could be so pretty??? LOL. You will be ok. I have complete faith. And PS: They are no longer the devil once they come out. Maybe WHILE they are coming out, from what I hear. Oh, and if they have colic. But other than that, all sweetness and light. :-)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm definitely hoping the baby devil will turn out all lovely and sweet when it is born, but come on ... even if a baby is evil you love it anyway!! They have that going for them. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for caring about the dying happening over here. I am glad to know I am not alone. People have been like, "Oh, it's a little uncomfortable, but it FLIES by." Liars. :)
Suffering insomnia. Catching up on blog reading. Those images are hilarious! You're too funny. Hang in there! Hopefully it will get better!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ally!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry sweetie! I love you! I finally made an account so I could follow your blog and write comments here. I thought you would be proud:)
ReplyDeleteGet your sleep while you can. My daughter was colicky...When she was 3 months old I spent a weekend at my friend's house sleeping on on a tiny lumpy couch. I remember how nice it was to close my eyes knowing that I was not going to be awakened at 2:00 AM by a crying baby.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog by clicking on Allie's (Hyperbole ...) Awesome Button.
ReplyDeleteI was all prepared to be like, "You're awesome and your blog is funny and you would never have a baby that came out with fangs dripping with blood," but then I read what you did to your little brother and realized it's quite possible your baby is evil.
And now I like you even more.
Also ... on the whole "my husband does all the dirty work 'round here" post ... I do that. When the batteries run out of a noisy toy, I go all, "Oh, dear. Well, we'll have to wait for Daddy to get home, so he can fix it. I'm but a weak woman and incapable of repair or handiwork."
One day, they'll be sexist, or they will realize their mother is a dirty liar.
Kayla -- I AM so proud of you!!! Love you!
ReplyDeleteJoe Cap -- Oh, I know. I wanted sleep that night. I REALLY did. But I have suffered with periodic insomnia my whole life, and the combination of terrible sickness and insomnia really drove me over the edge there!
Sarah P -- Oh my god. You're right. Here, I thought I was just being funny, but now I realize I probably DO have the anti-christ in my womb. Save me, Jebus!!
P.S. Thanks for clicking over from Allie! :)
Gosh, I hope you get to feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteDo the neighbors know you barfed in their yard?
God, I sure hope the neighbors don't know. I thought about leaving a note that said something like "Sorry. I hope the snow doesn't melt too quickly ..."
ReplyDeleteWow...the top baby is absolutely terrifying to me. Hope your evil baby stops being so evil soon!
ReplyDeleteGod, I sure hope the neighbors don't know. I thought about leaving a note that said something like "Sorry. I hope the snow doesn't melt too quickly ..."
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry sweetie! I love you! I finally made an account so I could follow your blog and write comments here. I thought you would be proud:)
ReplyDelete