Friday, December 25, 2009

Another Lame Attempt at Blogging Over Christmas

Half serious and half hilarious:

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate:
How do I put this delicately?  The mere thought of egg nog makes me throw up in my mouth.  There.  Very classy.  

My husband thinks I should like egg nog just because it is seasonal. He is constantly cursing the government for "taking away his noggy goodness" when the holiday season is over.  This is not a good enough excuse for me.  

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?

My Santa ALWAYS wrapped presents.  I didn't even know that a Santa existed who refused to wrap presents until I met my husband. Their Santa just left their unwrapped gifts in piles.  It really makes me wonder: if Santa can get away with skipping one of his two main responsibilities, could I use this to gain lenience at work?  Probably not.  But I bet I will still try.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White lights, all the way.  I like how it looks like stars.  Very magical.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
You know, we never did, and I really should start next year. Jeremy's family asked if we hung up mistletoe and I said we didn't because then we'd be too busy making out to do anything else. Was that inappropriate?  Thoughts?

5. When do you put your decorations up?
The weekend after Thanksgiving.  I am usually still in a tryptophan-induced coma for that full week.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
Hmm.  We don't have any traditional dishes besides ham, which is meh in my book.  So, I guess I will have to go with cookies.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?
One very vivid memory is when I got my awesome pink and purple Huffy with a heart-shaped fanny pack attached to the front.  We had finished opening all the presents, and my Dad asked me to go outside for something.  Just as I am today, I was STRONGLY averse to coldness, and seeing how it had dared to dip below 55 degrees on Christmas day, I was not really inclined to do so.  I whined for a little while, and then went outside to find MY BIKE!! AND, my Dad told me he didn't bother to put training wheels on because he was confident that I could ride without them.  And I DID! The first try!!  And it was MAGICAL!  I will have to find that picture and scan it.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
Oh, Lord.  Such a sad story.  I believed in Santa WAY longer than anyone I have ever known.  So, there I am, in fifth grade, minding my own business and loving Santa, and one of the mean girls in class found out and announced to the whole class that I was a baby and still believed in Santa.  Most of the class pointed and laughed.  Two of my girlfriends stuck up for me and said it was fine to believe in Santa and maybe *I* was the one who was right.  But I saw the pity in their eyes.  Oh, I saw it.  

I went home and demanded the truth from my mother.  Being unwilling to let her eldest child grow up, she insisted Santa was real. She probably also told me that those other kids' parents probably just didn't like them, and that is why they told them there was no such thing as Santa.  I stormed into school the next day and announced this to the class, saying my mother would NEVER lie to me, and that is how I knew Santa was real.  The laughter was louder.  The pity in my friends' eyes was more evident.  I repeated the confrontation with my Mom, and she caved.  I was furious.  And, to this day, I don't trust a word that comes out of her her mouth (just kidding, Mom!!)

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Heck yes.  I hate surprises and have little to no patience.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
Spent shells and beer cans.  Or white lights, lots of ornaments (mostly from my mom), and a silver star.  Depends on my mood.

11. Snow. Love it or dread it?
Hate for always and forever.  I wish Mother Nature would place it in her asshole.

12. Can you ice skate?
I have the world's weakest ankles, and NO, it is NOT because no one has "taught me the right way."  So don't comment and say ice skating is easy and you could teach me, because you would be DEAD WRONG.  So seriously, don't do it.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift ever?
No.  I am very appreciative, so I have lots of favorites.  I can also fly.

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Family and seeing the look on someone's face when I give them a gift they really love.  Plus alcohol.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
Meh.  I like most desserts.  But lately we have been doing tiramisu, and that definitely does it for me.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Giving gifts!!!

17. What tops your tree?
A silver filigree star

18. Do you prefer giving or receiving?
Both. I LOVE things (Oh, things ... I am drooling at the thought of you!), but I get much more satisfaction out of seeing people like the gifts I get them.

19. Candy canes: Yuck or yum?
Definitely not yum, but I don't hate them.  They never did anything to me.

20. Favorite Christmas movie?
A Christmas Story.  It is on right now!

21. Favorite Christmas song?
"O Holy Night" and "All I Want For Christmas is You"


  1. Insightful post & not a thing wrong with the mistletoe comment! ;)

    I'm so glad it's over!! Uh, Christmas, not your

  2. Yeah Eggnog. It really makes you wonder why the government feels that it is necessary to regulate the time when Americans can buy nog. I bet if Barry Obama wants nog on July 25th he can get some, but regular Joe Schmoe is SOL. Sorry Joe, you (because of your position in the American caste system) have to wait 5 months! And I thought we lived in the "land of the free."

    Does it have some kind of power to inspire revolution or something? Further research is needed.

  3. Oh, yeah. Don't feel bad. 6th grade over here. I was the only kid in middle school to believe. Probably in the history of middle school ever.

  4. Oh, yeah. Don't feel bad. 6th grade over here. I was the only kid in middle school to believe. Probably in the history of middle school ever.


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