Saturday, December 19, 2009

This Is What I Did When I Didn't Sleep a Single Wink Thursday Night. Now, You Too Must Suffer.

Okay, I know like everyone in the world has seen this Celebrity look-alike website, and lots of my favorite bloggers have already done this and it is highly unoriginal, but I found it entertaining and I am now forcing you to look at it.  Deal with it.  Thanks. 

This Celebrity Look-alike thing is asking me for a picture in which I am looking straight at the camera.  Well, I don't do that, because everyone knows that makes your nose look bigger and your cheekbones disappear.  Is that just me?  Well, here is evidence of the phenomenon -- this is the best head-on photo I could find:

Not too shabby.  Anne Hathaway is cute, and she even has the same name as Shakespeare's wife, so, bonus.

Okay, well, I really like this picture of myself:

I think I look happy.  Let's try it.

Really??!?!  Billy Bob Thorton AND Lionel Richie in the same collage as Claudia Schiffer?  Perhaps I did something to break the machine by not using a front-facing photo.  

All right, I have better pictures.

Oh, Julia Roberts and Brigitte Bardot!  Cool.  And ... Nancy Kerrigan ... and ... Michelle Kwan? LANCE BASS??!?!??  Really, Internet?  I should probably cut my losses and get off this website.


Instead, I think I should try this GLORIOUS photo from my wedding day:


I was assuming I would be matched up with Eva Longoria or Kim Kardashian.

Instead ....

This is much more of a slam to Anne Frank than anything else.  Sorry.  I loved your diary.  What?  Those were your private thoughts and you didn't want anyone to read them?  Umm ... 

Finally, the face Jeremy sees on a regular basis ...

Sir Ian McKellen!  Take that, bitches!  Does this mean I will get knighted?

The moral of the story: Don't ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer.


  1. HAHAHAH...this made me laugh hysterically. Lionel Richie...Hahahah

  2. I'm cracking up over here! I really like the Anne Frank.

  3. Seems like it's matching facial expressions more than anything else. Although, it's using some pretty sophisticated metrics - in the top pic, you've got fingers growing out of your neck but it screened that out, none of your celebalikes have fingers growing out of their necks. But it's definitely keying in on the expressions, just look - you and Anne Frank both have the same aw-shucks chin sideways slide!

    Albeit, hers is more aw-shucks and yours is more, "aw, yeah?"

  4. God, I wish I had known I had not only Jeff Foxworthy there with my yesteday, but Lionel Ritchie, too!?!? Yeesh. Missed some big chances there..... :-)

  5. It's GANDALF!!! You're pretty much magical now.

    When I did this, I got Natalie Imbruglia and then a long list of men that eventually culminated in Mr. T. That's right. Mr. T.

  6. Melissa -- Yeah .. at first I was not laughing, but it became funny when I got over my vanity!

    Steph -- I know. Poor Anne Frank, matched with that terrible picture of me!

    Dogimo -- clearly, it is VERY sophisticated to be able to ignore this fingers. And thanks, by the way -- I have been able to hide that deformity my whole life and now you point it out for the whole world to see.

    Allie -- Yeah, I always knew I must be magical, but now I have EVIDENCE.

    Mr. T, huh? Well, I bet you didn't get Ariel Sharon, so ... I still win. :)

  7. Amanda -- I know. Sooo many people would have wanted my autograph. If only they knew. I bet my line would have been bigger than Jeff's. Right? Tell me I'm a bigger star. No, really, I need unwarranted praise.

  8. Never be ashamed of your neck-fingers, Vero! That's not a deformity, it's an adaptation. Neckdactyly is looked at askance today, but mark my words, within ten generations' time it's going to be pretty much the norm. It's plain natural selection - the clear adaptive benefit cannot be denied!

    Any time you get an itch right there...

  9. I'm cracking up over here! I really like the Anne Frank.


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